Any advice on getting over a nine year relationship?

Met my husband when we were seventeen he was my first love and my only sexual partner and i'm 26 years old and going thru a divorce, he hurt me really bad and now that i'm trying to move on any guy who figures out that i have only been with one guy just vanishes just like that!!Any advice on getting over a nine year relationship?
That seems very odd to me. Men are unfortunately ';competitive'; in the experience department. I would think it would be a turn on in this day and age. Perhaps you are just meeting the wrong guys. I think it is great (from a new dating perspective) that you were only with your husband. I am sorry that he hurt you. Dating can be tough. You will have to meet lots of toads to find your prince.


When you are meeting guys and are interested to date there is some information that should only be given on a ';need to know basis';. They do not need to know private information about you that soon. (It is possible that they are thinking that you only had one partner so you are not sleazy and easy). If dating to have a partner ';sleazy and easy'; can be a turn on for a guy. You deserve better than that.


So, don't tell more than needs to be told. Be patient , there are good guys out there. You are looking for someone that smiles easily, does not ask your for your sex resume on a first date, like to laugh, likes romantic interludes, appreciates a lady and knows how to treat her.Any advice on getting over a nine year relationship?
they r dum dum u r fine dont let anyone tell u other wise .women like u r the best ones to meet and b with...u will find a nice guy
Honestly I don't think the guys vanish because they find out you have only been with one man. They vanish because they do that to everyone! Guys (Many Many Many) of them make vanishing a habit. I'd try not to connect to your experience level, or anything else about you for that matter. They seem to do it a lot, no matter what the circumstances happen to be. Hang in there. Post divorce is a really hard time. It may be awhile before you are truly ready to try a real relationship again. Concentrate on friendships and things you like to do even if you are alone.
to get over him get under someone else :)
My previous relationship was a 9 year one. We never got married, but that is besides the point. My best advice for you is to STAY busy. Go out with friends, hang out with family, repaint the living room, take up hiking. Do anything to keep your mind off of things and give yourself an escape and DONT start another relationship. Just date.. it will give you confidence and allow you to refocus on what exactly you want/need and are looking for.





My whole family wanted me to face the situation, talk about my feelings... all i wanted to do was make a point of finding a section of my life that didnt relate to what was going on. I went on a road trip with my friends, bought some sexy clothes and shameless flirts with the men along the way knowing I would never seen them again. Sometimes it all comes down to know that you are still attractive, there is someone out there willing to get interested in you and then giving yourself a chance to actually think about what you want from here.





Lastly mark your calendar with a day that you get to pull out all of your past stuff and just cry, rage and experience depression about the huge part of your life that is coming to the end. When the day is over pack it all away some place out of reach until the next alloted day. My first month I didnt take any time to reflect. I pretended it never happened. By the second month I gave myself a day to grieve. Over the course the year I needed to have a pity party less and less, but knowing I could made it easier.





I wont lie .. I still go through things from time to time.. and sigh.. but the good news is there is life outside of your past and you will find it.
Sure.





What you loved at 17, and him too, isn't what you love at 27.





When you get your head back on straight --- and you may wish to talk with a counselor --- this is old stuff, common stuff.





Then when you start to date, there is no law that you must share your past history, ';Oh, I loved him sooooooo much, he was my veeeeerrrrrrry first love, and we ...yadyadyadyadya.'; No guy wants to date anyone who may still be carrying a torch for the ex, and spend time, only to have her get back with him!!!!





So, less said, the better. Rather, ';Sure, married once, divorced once. No kids. How about you?'; The less said, the better.
I think those men are loosers so you're better off that the vanish.
Then the hell with them. Any good man is going to find that refreshing. Keep looking for him, honey. Don't compromise yourself now. You didn't do anything wrong. I commend you for having morals and self-pride. Good luck to you. The right one will come along...trust me.





Edit: Yes...I also agree with Ladyren. She's right on that telling your whole history. Just say what she said and don't cry over that clown with your new love. It won't start off on the right track then! Good advice, Ladyren!
If you are just going through a divorce when did you have time to discuss your sexual history with a man?





Never tell a man about your pass and don't ask about his. Just get tested for STD's and move on.





Maybe it is time to give up on the man thing and work on yourself so you will be ready when Mr Right comes around.
you will find him just keep the feeling out there
How do these men know that you have only been with one man? Most men would be prowd of a woman who has not slept around. I think you are hanging in the wrong circles... dont just grasp at any man who makes you feel nice... Your worth a lot to someone, so dont hurry into anything... Good luck... Grant M in Pennsylvania
oh, so sleeping with the whole world is better?
try a new activities such as arts, sports, reading or a hobby...meeting new people, trying some new things, joining a community group.