I recently saw a friend of mine I hadn't seen in a few years at a party and he ended up spending the night at my place and we had sex the next day. I've been talking to him online and on the phone since, but he's been mentioning other women that he likes. I'm assuming this means he doesn't like me, yet he extended an invitation to me to come over to his apt anytime I'd like and that he's really trying to move on from his past failed relationship. Is he trying to make me jealous or is he really not interested? He is relatively unstable emotionally and has a lot of issues, and I've always been there for him. He calls me when he's in trouble or needs emotional support, I've known him about 6 years. I love that he trusts me and feels open with me about his feelings, but is he just using me? I feel like I'm always there for him and I really care about him, and I don't know how he feels about me. I'm scared to bring it up with him and we both are acting like nothing happened. Was this just a one time thing? Have any of you been in a situation like this or have any advice as to what to do? I'm nervous to see him as I'm not sure if he's expecting sex...it really was great, but I'm scared of getting hurt :(Advice on a friends with benefits relationship? Please help!?
i have not been in this situation. but i got some advice.
it sounds likes he really really values your friendship. he has emotional problems and stuff and you have been there for him. he probably really likes you for that--and he gets those feelings mixed up sometimes to the point where you two have sex. i think he cant decide if he just wants to be friends, or if he wants to date you. what do you wanna do? sounds like you kinda like him, but dont like all his baggage (which is understandable i broke up with my ex cuz her baggage).
i dont think he is using you. he sounds like a guy who is just confused. i think you need to make this decision. either be his girlfriend or be his friend. the two are very different. Friends with benefits is ALWAYS a bad idea so i do recomend stopping that asap.
if i were in your shoes (knowing everything that you ahve written) i would not be his girlfriend, but stay his friend. and continue to be there for him, and you can give him hugs n stuff. but quit the sex (No matter how good!) because if you keep enabling him, he wont stop himself. if you are just his friend, he will have an easier time moving on, trying to get his crap together and get stable and get a girlfriend.
its harder to make good friends than it is to find a girlfriend. so be his friend. (and you should find another guy too, so you still get your pleasure)
hope i helped.Advice on a friends with benefits relationship? Please help!?
If you're afraid of getting hurt than don't have sex with him. Distance yourself from him since he see's you as someone casual and you don't feel the same. If you don't, you take the risk of getting hurt.
If you're scared of getting hurt don't have sex with him again. It seems to mean more to you then him.
It sounds like he thinks you had casual sex. That is not 'using you' by the way.
stop this as soon as possible!!!
don't settle for less. remember that if a guy really like you he will pursue and respect you. not like this. you will still get hurt anyway so better stop this now. why to prolong it????
It sounds like ur already hurt.
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