Relationship issues at 26 weeks pregnant, any advice?

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with twins and my boyfriend and I are having a few problems. The pregnancy was not planned and at first he wanted me to have an abortion but due to having one at 17 due to rape (we're both 21 now) I was completely against the idea. In fact, we'd discussed unplanned pregnancy many times before as we all know that nothing provides 100% protection other than celibacy! Anyway, whenever we'd discussed it in the past, it wasn't a problem (cos he obviously hadn't thought it through) and I'd told him there was no way I'd abort or give my child up for adoption, so that got me down a bit and that was the start of our problems. I just can't forget it but don't want to throw it in his face.





It's made me feel like he resents me for keeping the babies (twins). He's excited and says he loves me but now and then we get into a complete rut where we have an argument and it never gets sorted as a few days or a week later we end up having the same sort of argument.





I don't know what to do anymore. I've even thought about leaving him sometimes but I really don't want to do this alone and I do still love him, I just don't like him anymore.





He's become a completely different person since we found out I was pregnant. We're both really stressed about it and about work etc but he takes it out on me all of the time and is always snapping at me. The way my hormones are at the moment, it just makes me cry everytime he does that and it makes me feel like it's my fault that he's being like that.





I want to sort this but don't know what to do. He's been a right git about everything of late and I can't take much more.





One example of him snapping (and this is really petty!) is that I had to pick up a delivery of a mother's day present which arrived late, which took all of 5 mins this dinner time, and he told me that I had p****d him off because I'd messed up his dinner break because I'd picked up a present for my mum. It was OUR dinner break and I'd told him about it the night before. It's just petty things like that all of the time though, he's just always having a go.Relationship issues at 26 weeks pregnant, any advice?
I'm sorry to hear about the situation your in but really guys are jerks like that and once you get pregnant things change. I'm not sure what goes on in there head. If its that they know we are pregnant and theres not much we can do anymore or what. I think they get cocky about it and think they have us right where they want us well at least for the next 9 months anyway. You just gave me an idea. I'm going to ask the guys out there why they do this as soon as Im done answering your question, so keep an eye out for the question and see what responses we get. I think it is that he resents the fact you kept the babies but DONT let him bring you down because of it. Abortion is a hard decision and I can only imagen how hard it was trying to decide to terminate two babies instead just one that is hard enuff. Guys mature way slower then girls and it is that he's going to be faced with alot of responsibility pretty soon and he probably wasn't ready for it. Before when you talked to him about your feelings on abortion he honestly probably didn't think you'd end up pregnant and kinda told you what you wanted to hear. And now that the situation is real, he's freaking out. I know extactly how you feel too. I'm 16 weeks and 5 days prego and I'm so emotional. My bf gets like that to where he doesn't watch what he says or the tone he uses and I get so emotional. Its cause we feel that they should be there and taking care of us the most right now because we're carrying there children but they dont think like that or feel it the same way we do. Dont let yourself feel like it's your fault cause it's not. He should be taking your feelings more into consideration right now. My bf is just like him too. He wanted me to have an abortion but then he didnt. He'd change his mind every other day and we would fight about it too and we are just like that. We fight (we fought lastnight for that matter) and then the issues never really get resolved and come back out a few weeks later. It's like a broken record. Its not good for the relationship either but I dont know how to fix it or change it either. Be strong Girly and think of your babies. As much as it hurts to fight with him and feel like your not going to have a happy lil family. Just tell him like I told my bf, that you need to start thinking about the people who are more important then him and his bs and that's your babies so dont be stressin out cause it;s not good for them. They deserve better and if they cant get it from him at least you can give them better and be a strong, confident and loving mother. Good luck. Email if you need too. I'll be there for you.Relationship issues at 26 weeks pregnant, any advice?
You should talk to him. If he doesn't listen then you should tell him that if you don't listen then i will break up with u
My husband and I have been arguing a bit more since I've become pregnant so I understand what you are going through. You both need to be patient with each other and just breath. I'm sure he's just as stressed as you. That doesn't excuse being rude, neither does the hormones, but lets be realistic b/c we all know that both makes for short nerves. Because you only gave us your side I am going to just assume you are a bit rude too ( as I am sometimes). Don't take offense to that though. Take a break from each other- an hour or two- when things start getting snippy. Be positive with each other everyday. Things like '; I appreciate that you......';, thank each other - even for the small things. This has to be a 2way communication. Sit with him and let him know how this is affecting you. You don't need the stress but you both have to work on it
I think hes very immature for being 21years old. He obviously has alot of growing up to do and hopefully he does it before these precious babies come into the world. I would sit him down and lay it all out for him. Let him know that yes people do get stressed but his petty fights and whinning are not going to be tolerated. If it continues i would leave him. Hope things work out for you hun =)
All I can say to you both is try sitting to talk just almost after the problem or maybe you can try staying as calm as ever, I have a 7 months old and believe me i went through the same problems with my husband we did not plan our pregnancy also and i guess he was angry when i got pregnant and also wanted me to get a abortion or do what ever to make the pregnancy go away and i think because you made a decision alone you have to pay that price. My husband treated me really awful when i was pregnant with our daughter today i still feel the hurt and pain its a constant reminder, but it later turn out that he was actually having an affair he would leave me home alone and some-days he never called to see how i was doing when he was at work and if i call him sometime he would not answer his cell or just hang up on me or just yell at me just for wanting to know how he was doing i became stuck in the middle and felt really bad and unwanted during my pregnancy, but i kept my days pretty much occupy by just hanging here on the sight answering question this sight really help me to feel that someone was virtually there for me. But try talking to him and keep yourself relax and don't let it bother you so much i know eventually my situation bother me and i ended up going into labor early because i was so overwhelm by what was going on.
What a jerk! He's rebelling because his life is about to be turned upside down when your twins arrive. Give him a little space. But he shouldn't be leaving you alone every weeknight and on the weekends, that is extreme. I'm sure you have, but have you tried talking calmly to him about this? I was having similar problems with my boyfriend but thankfully he has really turned around. I just kept praying and praying about it.





Maybe you need to tell him that how he is behaving is unacceptable and while you love him very much and would like to have a family with him, you can not tolerate how he is behaving.





I don't know... =[ This is tough.





Good luck!
sounds like you are both a little hormonal I mean I am 30 weeks with our second and I am moody and seems he is having sympathy mood swings haha! And he got all the cravings! But it happens you both are stressed I mean your not just having a baby your having 2 babies at once which when they get here will be very hard to handle maybe he got a little jealous that you left him on the dinner date maybe he just wants to spend all the time he can with you! You know before you both have to devote every second of every day to screaming babies...try to be sympathetic...and he should be sympathetic to you too considering that you are carrying his babies! Good luck!!!
He didn't want the babies to begin with because he didn't want the responsibility. He is being immature and needs to step up and be a man.





I was on the pill and got pregnant with twins, but my boyfriend (husband now) was absolutely excited! If he had acted like your man I would have told him to get his **** and get out.
i think you should really sit down and have a convo w/o the yelling and try to resolve it...i had the same issue w/ my bf he wanted me to abort my child and go on with our lives...but i just couldn't go on think i did this (witch i didn't) he kept on till i was about 3 months he even cheated on me so i would abort but i didn't....i broke up with him changed my number and moved on like normal i told my self he doesn't come back F**K him....and guess what girl he came looking for me and we have been together for 3 years with our 2 year old daughter and trying for our second...........





now im not saying its gonna get better asap but trust me put your foot down now before it gets worse...be strong and don't stress because your twins feel what your feeling....





CONGRATS AND GOOD LUCK
Well, I would keep him around for now anyways...You both seem to love each other very much, but things need to change. Having twins is such a blessing!! I am pregnant with a little boy, but am a twin myself and you're going to love it! :) Don't feel like you are to blame when he gets upset. Guys don't know how to handle a woman being pregnant, trust me. MY boyfriend and I fought the first few months I was pregnant all the dam* time and it killed me! But, if both of you are stressing out and money is tight then that is a reason to set things off. He needs to be more sensitive to your feelings and understand that this is about the twins now, and not all about you and him. You should really sit down with him and have a heart to heart. Maybe you can both work on each other's pet peeves to make life less stressful. Tell him that the last thing you need is to be stressed out by him and go in 2 preterm labor and you are a High Risk pregnancy and he needs to respect that and be there for you. I know hormones are CRAZY when pregnant, but try not to let the little things bother you. I think that as a pregnant woman, we tend to overreact and that's where some of the fights persist from. I don't know what else to tell you, but I definitely feel for you. I wanted to break up with my bf 1 or 2 times in the beginning of my pregnancy because I was sick of fighting, but we worked things out and are very excited to meet our son in the next week or two (hopefully). Just hang in there, and don't forget a lot of women on here have been through what you're dealing with, and can help you out anytime!!
He's a jerk. I'd leave him, you know deep down you should. And guess what, no matter if the babies are wanted or unwanted he has to pay child support. Yay!
Aww, poor baby. I am so sory. You need to make him realize that you did not get pregnant on your own, and if he has any problems about you ot getting an abortion, then he really needs to get over it. If you decide to leave him (which is going to be a difficult choice), make an escape plan. Make sure everything is planned out. You don't need to be around this type of stress, it's not good for you or the babies. I hope everything gets bette. And btw Congrats on the twins..i'm happy, even if he's not.
Seriously because you're getting closer and closer to your due date it probably is dawning on him how serious the situation is and that could account for the tension. I'm 27 weeks and me and my boyfriend have frequent arguments too. I put it down to the strain he is under at work and my hormones, as well as the fact that we are facing a lifetime of responsibility and more than likely financial strain.You could try to talk to him about it and try to understand his perspective while trying to get him to understand yours. The best thing you can do is try to talk about it and resolve it before it gets worse and obviously as you get closer to your due date you don't want to be losing sleep over these arguments!
wow. think about this - if you're on yahoo answers asking strangers for advice it's obviously pretty bad. and it never gets better. he may love the children after your pregnancy but he will most likely hold this 'grudge' forever and be the self centered ignorant man he was. please, consider an alternative to being with him. maybe with your mother, sister, aunt, friend, whoever. this is not a time to be stressed out and miserable, you're having twins! how cool is that? also, after the babies are born they don't deserve to be in such an environment. please just think about it and good luck.
Sounds like he is a real miserable prick. Sorry, I know you love him. But let's be for real here, snapping at you because you ';ruined'; 5 minutes...?


As for the not wanting to abort situation, I think you made the right choice. There is ways around aborting. Just sit down and figure out what you will have to do to survive. Find a cheap day care or babysitter that you can trust and work 2 jobs if you have too. For the beginning it will suck because the twins will not be with you as much as youd like, but in the end, money problems will hopefully slow down and you cna be with them more nad have your family.


As for him and the pregnancy, ask him what scraes him and why he seems like he does not want this.. hope it turns out okay for you!


p.s. were you on th epill? i noticed the part you mentioned about impossible to NOT get prego. I am curious, not being rude r anythihng. Thanks.