Advice-opposing political views in a relationship?

can anyone give me any advice on how you handle being in a relationship with someone who has drastically different political views than you?





i've been in a relationship with my guy for 6 months now and while we've had little spats about politics before, they never got as serious as last. after seeing obama talking on the news we got into a discussion, quickly turned argument and me in tears, about social issues like goverment assistance programs for low income families. my boyfriend is a republican who grew up pretty wealthy and holds the same views as his father that poor people are lazy and abuse the welfare system. i'm a democrat and have devoted my life and future career to helping low income people. i love him but i'm questioning how i could seriously consider a future with someone who has such drastically different views on issues i find so important. i don't want to get too ahead of myself after only 6 months but i have to think about these things right?Advice-opposing political views in a relationship?
Same here. After 15 years of being together we've agreed to disagree. We love eachother too much to let politics ruin what we have. There will always be disagreements unless of course you married your twin or something. We're both too stubborn to allow one to pull us left or right. So we don't even discuss politics. We know where eachother stands and thats fine with the both of us. Sure we joke that we're stupid enough to cancel out our own votes. But we had to learn to lighten up. Naturally I figured after years of working on him I'd be able to influence him. Thankfully he's too thick headed. I love that he is strong and thinks independently of me. I don't want a slave or someone to control. I want someone who thinks for themself.





It took us awhile to learn that neither of us was gonna change our views. We both accepted it. Now we just tease eachother because we both agree that we have too many other things to argue about.





Neither of us want children (yeah we agree on somethings) so we don't have to worry about how we'd raise them regarding how we both feel. This could be an issue to you down the road. Talk with your boyfriend. Agree to disagree and try to find a middle ground for you two to work from. I wish you the best of luck!Advice-opposing political views in a relationship?
It's not politics that is the problem, it's your boyfriends lack of compassion and understanding of the issue (most low income earners do in fact work and the welfare system has gotten a lot tougher in their requirements).





Republicans are FAR more generous with their time and personal money than Democrats. It's a question of how the Federal Government itself should be involved and how to fix various problems. Tossing money at a problem (generally a Demcrats answer to everything) is rarely the fix they make it out to be and Government involvement often makes matters worse (wasting more money).
Everyone has the right to their own views, beliefs and opinions. Arnold Swarzenegger (sp?) is a Republican and his wife (Maria Shriver) comes from the most famous Democratic family ever. You don't have to have the same politics to get along - you have to have a maturity level where you can accept that you have different views.
I hate to say this but it will NOT work out! Unless you are willing to sell your soul to the Neocon machine, he will continue to put you down. because based on what you said, it's not just who to vote for, he has warped priorities and looks down on others. To me, having similar political views and more importantly values is the corner stone of a relationship.





I would consider taking a break from this guy and dating some people closer to your value system.
Opposites really do attract! Both of you have strong opinions but can you both either be open to respecting that the other person's opinions are important also and have some validity. Can you just agree to disagree and not get into political discussions with each other? You are right to think about these things but don't make them into mountains cause they're not.
Usually, I say ';Make an agreement to not talk about politics'; But in your case, since yousay you devoted your life and career to it, you might be unable to resolve it.


Here is a suggestiuon though. Tell him that you respect his views and ask that he respects your. Tell him you'd love to continue discussions but you both should agree to be careful to not hurt each other's feelings.
Your opinion is important. But - so is his. Sometimes being in a relationship means respecting a differing opinion, discussing ideas, but without getting into a fight. If you can do that and he can respect your opinion even if its different and you can respect his - then by all means continue.
Stop discussing topics like this with him if you know you both have different views.





My husband and I have a few different views on things. But, we don't dwell on it.





We are individuals and are entitled to our own opinions even if the other does not share the same views.
The only advice I can offer is this: don't talk about it, and you won't fight about it! Who you vote for is YOUR business, the same goes for him. However, you may eventually want to clear the air before it goes further (marriage and/or kids) Good luck!
There are criteria that are deal-breakers for you. Once you've decided whether being politically conservative is a deal-breaker, then you'll have your answer.
Just agree to disagree or don't talk about politics together if it's getting heated.
You must meet half way





Wars have started like this





Don't let it get to you
I am a Libertarian now, a former Republican. I have to say that Republicans (some Christian Conservative types, especially) are awfully arrogant. They often tune to Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity, who go off on tirades and rants about ';liberals';, and they get into character-bashing arguments about Democrats. These people are hard to discuss things with - they just rant and get loud.





My advice is to stay off politics and see how the relationship develops and to what extent he will press his political views. Many great marriages can be built from opposing viewpoints, so long as there is mutual respect.
For people whose politics are an important part of their value system, this would NOT be a good situation. If your job and your work actually reflect your political beliefs, these beliefs are a VERY important part of your life and who you are. How can you have a relationship with someone who is going to trash those beliefs and say things you consider morally wrong (not just different, but unethical!) at every available opportunity?! You can't just talk about the weather all day long, not if you have a brain and are aware of the world around you.





I would run. You COULD try telling him that the difference in your political beliefs is an issue for you and see if he loudly starts articulating them and telling you why you're wrong. If he does, it means he is as attached to his beliefs as you are to yours which is bad news.





Or you couls atart a conversation about the life experiences that have formed your political views and see if he judges them again. If he doesn't, that could open the door to him understanding, rather than arguing with yoiur beliefs.





But i have dumped guys in a hurry because of this, being very passionate about my left politics.
I'll refer you to one of the most intriguing couples around: James Carville and Mary Matalin. Not only are most of their views diametrically opposed, but they work for the different parties. They've both written on how they make their marriage work despite the differences, and I would suggest you try to read what they have to say about this. I will say that your boyfriend's view that those who are poor are all that way because of laziness is pretty naive, and perhaps correctable through education (maybe have him come to work with you for one day so that he can meet some of the people you try to help). Anyway, if you think he would be a loving devoted husband and a good father (that is if you plan to have kids), than I think you can and should try to get past your political differences.





Good luck!
It's good to find out these things before you get married so this is good. But on the other hand Republicans actually have moral arguments for their positions. For example, Ron Paul argued that since we involved the federal government in race related hiring practices, forced desegregation, and instituted welfare programs, the gap between rich and poor and Black and White has actually increased not decreased. Blacks are poorer in comparison to Whites than they were in the 1950s. So the question is what is the solution?





Conservatives believe in strong family structure as the core means of solving economic problems. This in itself is not all bad as long as they also believe in personal responsibility.





Conservatives usually offer to marry you when they knock you up, whereas Liberals offer to pay for your abortion. That is the main difference between dating Republicans/Democrats.
Does this really bother you that much? If it does, ditch him.





Honestly, I think you're both being ridiculous. It's fine to disagree on topics, and to voice your views, but don't bother trying to change each other's stance - it isn't going to work. You need to understand that he has every right to think what he wants, and you need to accept his views as being his. Likewise, he needs to do the same for you. You both can think opposite ways, but as long as you understand why he thinks that way, and he you, you should be fine, and there is no need to debate about it. Expressing your views is fine - imposing them is not.





Personally, I like it when I'm seeing a girl with clashing view points. I just like to hear why she thinks what she does, and I explain why I feel differently, but while doing so, I make sure that she understands that I think her views make sense, but I just don't agree, and I'm not trying to change what she thinks.





Acceptance and tolerance are what make a free country work. If you can't do that even in your romantic relationship, somethings not right - maybe its both of you, maybe its just one of you, but somewhere along the line, you both need to understand and accept the fact that everyones entitled to their own opinion. If you don't, you will be hard pressed to find a partner who shares EXACTLY the same views that you do on everything.
if you think he's worth the trouble then take him to see some聽 of the work that you do for low income people.聽 Inform him he's working on a stereotype that he has no personal experience with.聽





Yes there are lazy people on welfare who think that the world owes them a living--BUT they are a very small minority of people.聽 Most of the people there have had a bad turn that has left them in need or have been born into poverty and haven't had the oppurtunities that his parents' money has given him.





If he is unwilling to meet you half way and his views just go comepletely against your core values, then he is not the man for you.





If his views are not against your core values, then you don't discuss politics in order for the relationship to work. Look at James Carville and Mary Matlin--their personal politics DO NOT interfere with their core values, so they just don't discuss politics.
Well, seeing as your career now takes you in the front line of low income families and your political views are as strong as they are considering your career as well, this might be a problem. And if he's so set on adopting his father's views as his own, you may want to think about it seriously. If it was just a political argument or viewpoint, someone can easily say, ';then just stay away from those discussions if you can...'; but in your case with your career revolving around it, it's a different story. This is your life. This is how you feel and it comes from your heart. You might want to find a man who's a little more compassionate about the fact that not everyone is born with a silver spoon in mouth.