Hi! I saw that you need help. I could be of some help because I am a contributing writer to some of my friends' publications. Just email me: mary_josette@yahoo.co.uk and I will give you some samples of my works (poems, short stories, satire stories). I'll be expecting your reply then!I'm making a zine for my class and i need puzzles, pomes, cartoons, and advice on love and relationships?
How about just publishing a link to this site?I'm making a zine for my class and i need puzzles, pomes, cartoons, and advice on love and relationships?
?
I can get you a political cartoon that I drew regarding the right-wing bias on Fox News. Of course, if you're not yet college-age, hardly anyone will get it. Still, think about it.
Monday, August 23, 2010
I was wondering if anyone had advice for long-distance relationships?
im 15...and a female...i live in new york and my boyfriend lives in florida....me and him known each other since pre-school and whenever i used 2 see him i used 2 get those feelings...and him the same for me...then he moved 2 fl about a year ago...but we still stayed as friends....he came to ny for break and now were taking it that step foward...wut you think?I was wondering if anyone had advice for long-distance relationships?
don't do itI was wondering if anyone had advice for long-distance relationships?
they work if you want them to. if you are both into the relationship, and into each other.
don't do itI was wondering if anyone had advice for long-distance relationships?
they work if you want them to. if you are both into the relationship, and into each other.
Why do people stay in bad relationships? I need some advice badly?
I have been with my bf for 5 years. I started dating him when I was young, and he is my second boyfriend. I am only 23 and he is 28. We moved out of my home state 2 years ago for his job.... it seems we have always fought and people in my family have told me to leave him... but I care for him. We have fought over everything from how I make less money that him to the fact that I won't let him do anal sex with me. He is not verbally abusive every day... and he does not get mad every day, it is just when he does get upset some times he over reacts. In the past he has called me a bitc*, cun*, fat azz, ugly, stupid, nasty... and I have said mean things to him too. I try to apologize though, and talk about our differences. I have packed and unpacked my clothing so many times. He can be very nice at times too, and it makes me feel bad for wanting to leave... We have never really sat down and talked to each other about our feelings, and because of that all of the stuff that has happened in the last 5 years has built and built and built. I am no longer sexually attracted to him, although he still wants to have sex with me. I feel badly that I am not making him feel desired, but I have told him what could help me get that feeling back, which would be a long chat... but he doesn't feel like he needs to talk about the relationship and any time that I try to initiate a conversation about the things bothering me, he gets angry. even when we are having a good time there is always this thought in the back of my mind that I don't want to be with him... I just constantly think that I am here because I don't really know what love is, and I don't have anything to compare this relationship to. I feel selfish when I think of leaving, but I cannot give all of myself to him either... What in the heck is wrong with me??? I feel like a mental caseWhy do people stay in bad relationships? I need some advice badly?
i noe what you are talking about i and once you get tired of it then you will leave,when you have had enough.m in one myself,we cant help who we love,i have been here for 5 years as well,and i told myself last week im done,im going to save money so i can move out,im not going to argue anymore,or even tell him im just going to do it,its hard because we are friends but we cant live together.so good luck and may god bless you and keep you safe.Why do people stay in bad relationships? I need some advice badly?
There is nothing wrong with you. You have allowed yourself to be trapped in a cycle of depression and hate, and you need to get out.
People stay in relationships because of the reasons you've said ';I might love him.'; or ';I feel selfish.';
i noe what you are talking about i and once you get tired of it then you will leave,when you have had enough.m in one myself,we cant help who we love,i have been here for 5 years as well,and i told myself last week im done,im going to save money so i can move out,im not going to argue anymore,or even tell him im just going to do it,its hard because we are friends but we cant live together.so good luck and may god bless you and keep you safe.Why do people stay in bad relationships? I need some advice badly?
There is nothing wrong with you. You have allowed yourself to be trapped in a cycle of depression and hate, and you need to get out.
People stay in relationships because of the reasons you've said ';I might love him.'; or ';I feel selfish.';
I need advice about age and relationships?
im a15 year old girl will be16 in5 months me and this22 year old guy have been friends for sometime now we chat about everything and have a laff the other day i pluck up the currage to tell him i fancie him and understand the age between us but went on saying we only live once please give it ago(thats the long storie short) anyways hes told me he does fancie me and he would love to go on dates and see how things go take it slow. but the only thing stopping him is my age he told me if i was 16 it wouldent matter he would go for it straight away. i ask why my age bother him that if we like eachother then it wont stop us.
he says hes worried people would call him perv as he told his best mate he has feelings for me and he called him a perv straight away, the thing is this guy dont actuly look22 and im taller than him bless him lol. we seem to get on so well it be a shame to waste this opitunity just coz of some narrow minded people out there.what should i do would it b wrong 4 us to D8I need advice about age and relationships?
Why does everybody on here assume that you are going to jump straight into bed with him?
He sounds like a nice sensible young man to me.
In the past you have only talked to each other and, the way I understand it, he hasn't even asked you for a date because he is concerned about your age. When you told him that you fancy him he said that you should discuss it with your Mum,
Come on, people, this is not the attitude of a perv, he is a nice sensible young man who is concerned that he may appear to be taking advantage of this equally sensible young lady.
Talk to your Mum, tell her how you feel, ask if you can bring him home to meet her and also assure her that you won't date him without her permission.
My guess is, that if Mum will agree to meet him, she may see the same qualities in this young man as you do.
I wish you both lots of luck and if it doesn't work out with your Mum, then you can still both wait for each other, as has already been suggested.I need advice about age and relationships?
do it as long as your parents are cool with it so he doesnt get arrested
Of coarse not!! My partner and I are 9 years apart and I don't mind at all!! My moto is that everyone can say what they like about us but they are not the ones who has to wake up next to him everyone morning of everyday for the rest of their lives because I do!! If you care alot for eachother and both of yous don't look your age then no one is going to know!! You both make decisions and live your lives by the way you choose it not by what other people think!!!!
if the only problem is ur age, and it's only gonna be like 6 months till ur 16, then just wait. if he cares about u, ad u him, then 6 months will be nothing. but if he is a perv, ull kno before u get hurt, cuz he'll ditch you. that's not a terrible age difference, but depending on where you're from,, here in the states, that's illegal. talk to your parents. be honest with them about how you feel, and see if thye're ok with you dating him. if they're ok with it, then it's in his hands. if they're not ok with it, then just wait.
good luck, honey. it'll work itself out. :)
I think the law will be changed soon on this one because its ridiculous you are deliberating on what to do on something which is only a matter of months.(I have written to the government/home office in the UK with my views on this)
I have looked at a number of subjects on here to do with paedophilia and am incensed at the bias of people being against young Adults having a relationship with someone under the age of 16. I am in a similar position to your male friend as I look around 20/21 (despite being older) and I'm sometimes attracted to girls in the 12-16 age range - I would consider having a relationship if a girl consented/fancied me. Its time we got with the times and lowered the age of consent to 12 or 13 - its not at all unusual for girls of this age to want an older boyfriend because they mature quicker than boys. Let me get this straight I am totally against the Ian huntley's of this world and I wouldnt condone dirty old men preying on youngsters but in most cases if this were to happen the girl would not consent so it would be rape. (I do think we need better sex education though to stop unwanted pregnancies - however I think you will find its the under 16 year old boys are who are sleeping with underage girls who are the problem with regards to this not older more responsible Adults)
Sorry to have a bit of a rant with regards to your problem(Ive allowed myself to get sidetracked) but I have been denied my opinion on other posts because the questions seem to be closed far too early(a criticism of these questions) as I have only just joined. My advice is ignore the sexual prudes on here, why worry about the age difference and go ahead with the relationship as long as it feels right.
Honestly I don't think so, as when I was 20 I was going out with a 15-year-old girl. My mates did give me loads of grief about it though - I just had to put up with it. The only thing is, you have to make sure people don't think you're breaking the law. It was easier for me because in the UK the legal age you have to be to have sex is 16 - I don't know where you're from or what the laws are, but if you come from somewhere where it's 18 or above you're going to encounter all sorts of opposition, as that's all most people will be thinking of.
Anyway - I don't think it's wrong in the slightest as long as you're sensible enough not to be taken advantage of. Good luck to ya!
I don't know where you live, but where I'm from, it's against the law to have sexual relations(which could happen) with anyone under 18. But if you really want to date this guy, I suggest getting your parents permission and have them meet him, as well. if they approve, I say go for it.
You might later regret having made the decision to date this 22 yr old. Later you will realize that you two may not have many things in common as you thought you did. I dont mean to sound like your mother, but I have been in this situation before. He may be way more mature than you, being 22. But if you feel this advise is stupid, and you date him anyway. be careful
to be honest, it sounds like he's waiting for you to turn 16, so you're legal. but if it's just down to happiness and you think it'll work, then go for it and don't be bothered by what people say
Honestly, yes it would be wrong. He is a man, you are still a child. It is wrong.
Narrow-mindedness has nothing to do with anything, it's something called the LAW. Perhaps you have heard of it?
This guy is clever, intelligent and smart.
Keep him warm, and wait for the right time for you both to date...
Hey, If you get busted dating each other, he's the one that goes to prison, not you! So if he is fool enough to D8 you then let it roll!
Personally I don't see any reason why it matters how old anyone is, if 2 peope want to get it on, then I say go for it. But the laws say different.
personally, it seems to me that you would be a bit young for him and that you should date people your own age.
I think once your 19-20 date whoever you want of whatever age bracket, but right now in your life a 16yo and a 22yo have different things on their mind!
The issue of perception changes for people as they mature. At 15-16 you are subject to change your perception of life alot by the time you become 22; since he is a man, this maturity may not truly come for a few more years, (I don't care how much he fronts). Try to put yourself in his place. Would you want to date a shorter BOY who is 6 to 7 years YOUNGER than you?
It may be more than worrying about people thinking he's a perv. In some states a 22 year old could be prosecuted for a sex crime for dating a 15 year old.
First thing first, he is to old and he could go to prison for a long time if any sane adult finds out about him being 22 and you being 15 if you decide to date him. You really don't need to be friends with anyone that old anyways. Stop now before it become a major problem for him later.
Yes it would be wrong. The difference between 15 and 22 is huge in terms of maturity. Seek someone closer to your age, you'll have more in common.
i think the main problem is the legal one. ever hear of the ';age of consent'; law? even if totally innocent, being a minor(you) could be of major consequences for him. physicality aside, there is a mental difference between 15 and 22. if things are so good between you then there is no harm in waiting to become an active couple.
you should wait untill you are sixteen....talk to your parents about it because if i remember right he cant get in trouble unless it is proved that you have had ....DO NOT DATE HM w/o your parents permission...(AND HIS!!!!)
There are pages and pages of words that can be written about this and ALL of the various issue that it raises. However ~ you want a 'positive' from it....?
Well, I'll tell you anyway......
He said himself, 'he wants to wait until you are 16 so that he can be face to face with your mum' (my take on his words).
Take that, those words, and hold them to yourself. He is meaning that his feelings are that 'positive' at present, that he does not want to create problems were none presently are, and make things good for the future for when you do reach 16.
Put another way, hes not out to mess you around.
If i were you, I'd respect that he respects you and what you mean to him ...he sees the Value in what or who you are to him.
That's valuable.
I wish you all the best.
Sash.
Stop! since you can't be bold to seek ur parents permission. Please, study more about what you are into before taking risks(I mean sex, handling heartbreaks, change in body posture after sexual intercourse, stds, loss of stability, effects on your health, academics, concentration or brain etc). True love sydrome does not exist except where it survives by maturity, required support and provision, acceptance of responsibilities or unfavourable consequences, presence of love when feelings and beauty fades.
NO if you 2 like each other than you 2 should d8
Wait until you are 16. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by giving this thing time to develop into a good friendship, and then if it is meant to be more you can go forth from there.
first off let's just state that it's illegal, now that that's been said, he's not interested, you should be able to tell from his reaction and responses. And there's no difference between 15 and 16, you being 16 isn't going to change anything he's just using it as an excuse. He's not interested move on
You really need to date in your own arena. You are very young and not experienced enough to know alot about older guy. please take my advice I know what you are going through but try . I'm saying that to say this I was raped by a person that I thought was a nice guy. We went out once and he pulled a gun on me and raped me. I didn't know enough about him to tell anyone and I was to scared anyway be careful and smart get all the information you can get.drivers lisence car plates know where he is taking you let your parents meet him, his address. This is serious it is some sick people out here praying on the innocence.
22 and 15 is a huge age gap in development terms, much larger than the gap will be between you when you are 29 and 22.
I really would urge you to talk to your parents about this, as he seems to be quite responsible about your age. Ask your parents if you can introduce him and then if they agree then maybe you can start to see him in suitable circumstances. If he really is interested in you, then he will be happy to accept any limits that make your parents feel comfortable. You have a long, long time ahead of you so don't rush anything, I was 33 before I met my perfect partner and that was after a lot of mistakes.
Tell him age is only a number and that if he really loves/likes you he shouldn't care what people say.
The age GAP is not important, 16 and 22 is nothing of a gap.
However he can get into trouble because you are underage, as you know.
If he is willing to wait until you r 16 before sleeping with you,then you will both know if you really want to be together for real.
The age gap is fine, but you are 'jailbate', if he treats you properly and respects your age then fine.
When you do get together make sure you DO use precautions if you have sex, and dont rush into it. Being single with a baby aged 16 is VERY VERY HARD!!
He may have slept with several women.
They say if you sleep with a guy/girl you 'sleep' with everyone he/she has slept with too. He could have hepititis or HIV, pubic lice etc too.
One or two other things could be a problem too, your family, %26amp; his family, and others' opinions will get in the way.
The fact that he can go into a pub and go to nightclubs and drive a car and do other things you cant will hinder everything too. You cant see what he's up to when he goes out late!
Also he can go abroad without asking permission and do what he wants etc.
22 year old 'men' tend to have just one thing on their minds. At barely 16 I don't think it would be good for you to be involved in a relationship with him.
A 6 year age gap is nothing between say an 18 yr old girl and a 24 yr old bloke- but is very different between an almost 16 yr old and 22 yr old.
HELL YES IT WOULD!!!
Look you are young lady and just comin into adult hood and i feel that this guy might be takin advantage of your youth. You av got a lot to go throw dont make it harder for your self please dont go with this guy and go out av fun with guys a bit YOUNGER I know you aint likin what iv said but you know im right!!!
age shouldn't matter all but in some cases it does especially if you are under 16 yrs old.
for instance the difference between 15 and 21 is different than between 30 and 36. they may still be the same difference but its age of maturity is grander. unfortunately he is classed has an adult or has being mature and I'm sure your parents would have concerns.
At the end off the day if you like each other give it ago and see what happens.
i hope thing work out for you X
he says hes worried people would call him perv as he told his best mate he has feelings for me and he called him a perv straight away, the thing is this guy dont actuly look22 and im taller than him bless him lol. we seem to get on so well it be a shame to waste this opitunity just coz of some narrow minded people out there.what should i do would it b wrong 4 us to D8I need advice about age and relationships?
Why does everybody on here assume that you are going to jump straight into bed with him?
He sounds like a nice sensible young man to me.
In the past you have only talked to each other and, the way I understand it, he hasn't even asked you for a date because he is concerned about your age. When you told him that you fancy him he said that you should discuss it with your Mum,
Come on, people, this is not the attitude of a perv, he is a nice sensible young man who is concerned that he may appear to be taking advantage of this equally sensible young lady.
Talk to your Mum, tell her how you feel, ask if you can bring him home to meet her and also assure her that you won't date him without her permission.
My guess is, that if Mum will agree to meet him, she may see the same qualities in this young man as you do.
I wish you both lots of luck and if it doesn't work out with your Mum, then you can still both wait for each other, as has already been suggested.I need advice about age and relationships?
do it as long as your parents are cool with it so he doesnt get arrested
Of coarse not!! My partner and I are 9 years apart and I don't mind at all!! My moto is that everyone can say what they like about us but they are not the ones who has to wake up next to him everyone morning of everyday for the rest of their lives because I do!! If you care alot for eachother and both of yous don't look your age then no one is going to know!! You both make decisions and live your lives by the way you choose it not by what other people think!!!!
if the only problem is ur age, and it's only gonna be like 6 months till ur 16, then just wait. if he cares about u, ad u him, then 6 months will be nothing. but if he is a perv, ull kno before u get hurt, cuz he'll ditch you. that's not a terrible age difference, but depending on where you're from,, here in the states, that's illegal. talk to your parents. be honest with them about how you feel, and see if thye're ok with you dating him. if they're ok with it, then it's in his hands. if they're not ok with it, then just wait.
good luck, honey. it'll work itself out. :)
I think the law will be changed soon on this one because its ridiculous you are deliberating on what to do on something which is only a matter of months.(I have written to the government/home office in the UK with my views on this)
I have looked at a number of subjects on here to do with paedophilia and am incensed at the bias of people being against young Adults having a relationship with someone under the age of 16. I am in a similar position to your male friend as I look around 20/21 (despite being older) and I'm sometimes attracted to girls in the 12-16 age range - I would consider having a relationship if a girl consented/fancied me. Its time we got with the times and lowered the age of consent to 12 or 13 - its not at all unusual for girls of this age to want an older boyfriend because they mature quicker than boys. Let me get this straight I am totally against the Ian huntley's of this world and I wouldnt condone dirty old men preying on youngsters but in most cases if this were to happen the girl would not consent so it would be rape. (I do think we need better sex education though to stop unwanted pregnancies - however I think you will find its the under 16 year old boys are who are sleeping with underage girls who are the problem with regards to this not older more responsible Adults)
Sorry to have a bit of a rant with regards to your problem(Ive allowed myself to get sidetracked) but I have been denied my opinion on other posts because the questions seem to be closed far too early(a criticism of these questions) as I have only just joined. My advice is ignore the sexual prudes on here, why worry about the age difference and go ahead with the relationship as long as it feels right.
Honestly I don't think so, as when I was 20 I was going out with a 15-year-old girl. My mates did give me loads of grief about it though - I just had to put up with it. The only thing is, you have to make sure people don't think you're breaking the law. It was easier for me because in the UK the legal age you have to be to have sex is 16 - I don't know where you're from or what the laws are, but if you come from somewhere where it's 18 or above you're going to encounter all sorts of opposition, as that's all most people will be thinking of.
Anyway - I don't think it's wrong in the slightest as long as you're sensible enough not to be taken advantage of. Good luck to ya!
I don't know where you live, but where I'm from, it's against the law to have sexual relations(which could happen) with anyone under 18. But if you really want to date this guy, I suggest getting your parents permission and have them meet him, as well. if they approve, I say go for it.
You might later regret having made the decision to date this 22 yr old. Later you will realize that you two may not have many things in common as you thought you did. I dont mean to sound like your mother, but I have been in this situation before. He may be way more mature than you, being 22. But if you feel this advise is stupid, and you date him anyway. be careful
to be honest, it sounds like he's waiting for you to turn 16, so you're legal. but if it's just down to happiness and you think it'll work, then go for it and don't be bothered by what people say
Honestly, yes it would be wrong. He is a man, you are still a child. It is wrong.
Narrow-mindedness has nothing to do with anything, it's something called the LAW. Perhaps you have heard of it?
This guy is clever, intelligent and smart.
Keep him warm, and wait for the right time for you both to date...
Hey, If you get busted dating each other, he's the one that goes to prison, not you! So if he is fool enough to D8 you then let it roll!
Personally I don't see any reason why it matters how old anyone is, if 2 peope want to get it on, then I say go for it. But the laws say different.
personally, it seems to me that you would be a bit young for him and that you should date people your own age.
I think once your 19-20 date whoever you want of whatever age bracket, but right now in your life a 16yo and a 22yo have different things on their mind!
The issue of perception changes for people as they mature. At 15-16 you are subject to change your perception of life alot by the time you become 22; since he is a man, this maturity may not truly come for a few more years, (I don't care how much he fronts). Try to put yourself in his place. Would you want to date a shorter BOY who is 6 to 7 years YOUNGER than you?
It may be more than worrying about people thinking he's a perv. In some states a 22 year old could be prosecuted for a sex crime for dating a 15 year old.
First thing first, he is to old and he could go to prison for a long time if any sane adult finds out about him being 22 and you being 15 if you decide to date him. You really don't need to be friends with anyone that old anyways. Stop now before it become a major problem for him later.
Yes it would be wrong. The difference between 15 and 22 is huge in terms of maturity. Seek someone closer to your age, you'll have more in common.
i think the main problem is the legal one. ever hear of the ';age of consent'; law? even if totally innocent, being a minor(you) could be of major consequences for him. physicality aside, there is a mental difference between 15 and 22. if things are so good between you then there is no harm in waiting to become an active couple.
you should wait untill you are sixteen....talk to your parents about it because if i remember right he cant get in trouble unless it is proved that you have had ....DO NOT DATE HM w/o your parents permission...(AND HIS!!!!)
There are pages and pages of words that can be written about this and ALL of the various issue that it raises. However ~ you want a 'positive' from it....?
Well, I'll tell you anyway......
He said himself, 'he wants to wait until you are 16 so that he can be face to face with your mum' (my take on his words).
Take that, those words, and hold them to yourself. He is meaning that his feelings are that 'positive' at present, that he does not want to create problems were none presently are, and make things good for the future for when you do reach 16.
Put another way, hes not out to mess you around.
If i were you, I'd respect that he respects you and what you mean to him ...he sees the Value in what or who you are to him.
That's valuable.
I wish you all the best.
Sash.
Stop! since you can't be bold to seek ur parents permission. Please, study more about what you are into before taking risks(I mean sex, handling heartbreaks, change in body posture after sexual intercourse, stds, loss of stability, effects on your health, academics, concentration or brain etc). True love sydrome does not exist except where it survives by maturity, required support and provision, acceptance of responsibilities or unfavourable consequences, presence of love when feelings and beauty fades.
NO if you 2 like each other than you 2 should d8
Wait until you are 16. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by giving this thing time to develop into a good friendship, and then if it is meant to be more you can go forth from there.
first off let's just state that it's illegal, now that that's been said, he's not interested, you should be able to tell from his reaction and responses. And there's no difference between 15 and 16, you being 16 isn't going to change anything he's just using it as an excuse. He's not interested move on
You really need to date in your own arena. You are very young and not experienced enough to know alot about older guy. please take my advice I know what you are going through but try . I'm saying that to say this I was raped by a person that I thought was a nice guy. We went out once and he pulled a gun on me and raped me. I didn't know enough about him to tell anyone and I was to scared anyway be careful and smart get all the information you can get.drivers lisence car plates know where he is taking you let your parents meet him, his address. This is serious it is some sick people out here praying on the innocence.
22 and 15 is a huge age gap in development terms, much larger than the gap will be between you when you are 29 and 22.
I really would urge you to talk to your parents about this, as he seems to be quite responsible about your age. Ask your parents if you can introduce him and then if they agree then maybe you can start to see him in suitable circumstances. If he really is interested in you, then he will be happy to accept any limits that make your parents feel comfortable. You have a long, long time ahead of you so don't rush anything, I was 33 before I met my perfect partner and that was after a lot of mistakes.
Tell him age is only a number and that if he really loves/likes you he shouldn't care what people say.
The age GAP is not important, 16 and 22 is nothing of a gap.
However he can get into trouble because you are underage, as you know.
If he is willing to wait until you r 16 before sleeping with you,then you will both know if you really want to be together for real.
The age gap is fine, but you are 'jailbate', if he treats you properly and respects your age then fine.
When you do get together make sure you DO use precautions if you have sex, and dont rush into it. Being single with a baby aged 16 is VERY VERY HARD!!
He may have slept with several women.
They say if you sleep with a guy/girl you 'sleep' with everyone he/she has slept with too. He could have hepititis or HIV, pubic lice etc too.
One or two other things could be a problem too, your family, %26amp; his family, and others' opinions will get in the way.
The fact that he can go into a pub and go to nightclubs and drive a car and do other things you cant will hinder everything too. You cant see what he's up to when he goes out late!
Also he can go abroad without asking permission and do what he wants etc.
22 year old 'men' tend to have just one thing on their minds. At barely 16 I don't think it would be good for you to be involved in a relationship with him.
A 6 year age gap is nothing between say an 18 yr old girl and a 24 yr old bloke- but is very different between an almost 16 yr old and 22 yr old.
HELL YES IT WOULD!!!
Look you are young lady and just comin into adult hood and i feel that this guy might be takin advantage of your youth. You av got a lot to go throw dont make it harder for your self please dont go with this guy and go out av fun with guys a bit YOUNGER I know you aint likin what iv said but you know im right!!!
age shouldn't matter all but in some cases it does especially if you are under 16 yrs old.
for instance the difference between 15 and 21 is different than between 30 and 36. they may still be the same difference but its age of maturity is grander. unfortunately he is classed has an adult or has being mature and I'm sure your parents would have concerns.
At the end off the day if you like each other give it ago and see what happens.
i hope thing work out for you X
I'm tired of our relationships, i need some advice.thanks?
My boyfriend and I are both having a hard time to give our relationship some quality time. His time of work is not fixed. He works 10 to 7 or 12 to 9pm. After work, he's so busy with his little business/hobby. He works 6 days a week And his hobby at night. While I works at weekdays and study at weekends. The problem is i am trying to give time for us but it looks like he doesn't care about it. We always fight about it, and he said that he loves me less than 90 percent. I was hurt bout it. I only want us to spend a quality time with him while im near with him, and stay connected even we are far from each other. Note. He always forget he's celphone. He doesn't txt me often. Whenever where chatting he always delayed in replying because he's busy. He's not like that bfore. He always show me how important I am. Now, he has changed. And I think we should separate instead of having this feeling. Should i break with him?I'm tired of our relationships, i need some advice.thanks?
That might be best especially if he said he loves you less than 90%, Thats awful... Sounds to me like the relationship might be fizzling out. I think it might be better on you to go ahead and break up with him. Heck, he is hardly around in the first place. Find you a man that is going to love you 100%, and be there for you, and want to talk to you on the phone, and will want to cuddle and spend all his free time with you. Im sorry things are not that great for you and your boyfriend, but it seems like you have tried, and it takes two, not one to make things work. It seems like he is not trying. Good luck and best wishes.I'm tired of our relationships, i need some advice.thanks?
He may have someone else and is trying to avoiding being with you. Just a thought. Ask him if he really wants to be in the relationship and not with clues but straight up just ask him. Best of luck
If he is only happy to be with you 10% of the time then he is pretty miserable and it's time to go. Whats really going on here is that he's not man enough to just break up with you.
L
Yes, if you are as unhappy in the relationship as you sound in this post. Life is too short. Move on and find someone who wants the same kind of relationship as you do.
If you're unhappy then yes I think you should break up with him because it sounds like he does nothing for you.
according to me ';you break up with him';
he dont have time to spend with u. i think he is selfishchap balm
That might be best especially if he said he loves you less than 90%, Thats awful... Sounds to me like the relationship might be fizzling out. I think it might be better on you to go ahead and break up with him. Heck, he is hardly around in the first place. Find you a man that is going to love you 100%, and be there for you, and want to talk to you on the phone, and will want to cuddle and spend all his free time with you. Im sorry things are not that great for you and your boyfriend, but it seems like you have tried, and it takes two, not one to make things work. It seems like he is not trying. Good luck and best wishes.I'm tired of our relationships, i need some advice.thanks?
He may have someone else and is trying to avoiding being with you. Just a thought. Ask him if he really wants to be in the relationship and not with clues but straight up just ask him. Best of luck
If he is only happy to be with you 10% of the time then he is pretty miserable and it's time to go. Whats really going on here is that he's not man enough to just break up with you.
L
Yes, if you are as unhappy in the relationship as you sound in this post. Life is too short. Move on and find someone who wants the same kind of relationship as you do.
If you're unhappy then yes I think you should break up with him because it sounds like he does nothing for you.
according to me ';you break up with him';
he dont have time to spend with u. i think he is selfish
Need advice on love and relationships? Email me vegetariangirl91@yahoo.com?
Why don't you just ask here to get a better response
I can't deal with relationships. Please offer some advice?
I met this girl online after breaking up with my girlfriend in September. My ex cheated on my after 5 years. It cut me up.
I met this girl and I really really like her, and she really likes me. We slept together twice and I stayed with her up until this morning. We both live far apart, but it's really hard for me.
Ive know her online for ages, but face to face a few days. We get on so well. The problem is my trust issues. Its a frigging joke and I am so angry at myself for even feeling like this.
I know 100% she feels alot for me, she told me. But I can't deal with another relationship. My heads a mess, it's been like 3 days. I skipped a week of uni because of it. But we both like each other so much.
I keep thinking negative all the time. Like what if this and what if that.
I really don't know what else to explain, its a mess in my head. I don't want to let her go because she is amazing, but I also don't want to hurt her by telling her my issues.
What do I do?I can't deal with relationships. Please offer some advice?
gotta talk to her really be honest. we all arnt bad girls you knowI can't deal with relationships. Please offer some advice?
Honesty is key in a relationship.
I understand how you feel, so don't feel angry with yourself - you are only reacting to the pain you experienced ... but maybe this is time for a light to frighten your fear out of the shadows %26amp; you can lay the past to rest.
You can only be the person you are feeling right now, so you just need to tell her exactly how you feel
If she is a good person, she'll understand %26amp; if she cares about you she'll want to help - believe me, it will hurt her more if you just let her go without telling her your issues.
Shes not going to drop you %26amp; run just because you are human.
It doesn't mean just because you talk to her that you have to dive into a major relationship overnight ... but its the building bricks for a good relationship. Good luck :)
I met this girl and I really really like her, and she really likes me. We slept together twice and I stayed with her up until this morning. We both live far apart, but it's really hard for me.
Ive know her online for ages, but face to face a few days. We get on so well. The problem is my trust issues. Its a frigging joke and I am so angry at myself for even feeling like this.
I know 100% she feels alot for me, she told me. But I can't deal with another relationship. My heads a mess, it's been like 3 days. I skipped a week of uni because of it. But we both like each other so much.
I keep thinking negative all the time. Like what if this and what if that.
I really don't know what else to explain, its a mess in my head. I don't want to let her go because she is amazing, but I also don't want to hurt her by telling her my issues.
What do I do?I can't deal with relationships. Please offer some advice?
gotta talk to her really be honest. we all arnt bad girls you knowI can't deal with relationships. Please offer some advice?
Honesty is key in a relationship.
I understand how you feel, so don't feel angry with yourself - you are only reacting to the pain you experienced ... but maybe this is time for a light to frighten your fear out of the shadows %26amp; you can lay the past to rest.
You can only be the person you are feeling right now, so you just need to tell her exactly how you feel
If she is a good person, she'll understand %26amp; if she cares about you she'll want to help - believe me, it will hurt her more if you just let her go without telling her your issues.
Shes not going to drop you %26amp; run just because you are human.
It doesn't mean just because you talk to her that you have to dive into a major relationship overnight ... but its the building bricks for a good relationship. Good luck :)
My grandmother and abusive relationships, irresponsible parenting/grandparenting? ADVICE PLEASE?
Alright, so my grandmother was telling me about a neighbor of hers who had a very emotionally and mentally abusive husband who was a chauvinistic pig who said all sorts of demeaning stuff to her. Anyways, she just leaves it at that. Don't you think that would have been the perfect time for her (or my mom) to explain why I should ot get into an abusive relationship or whatever? Shouldn't parents and grandparents have open dialogues with their children and work to increase their confidence so that they don't end up sluts or getting raped by their husbands or whatever?My grandmother and abusive relationships, irresponsible parenting/grandparenting? ADVICE PLEASE?
They probably know that you're smart enough, otherwise they probably would have said something. You obviously are smart enough to understand, otherwise you wouldn't be asking about it.My grandmother and abusive relationships, irresponsible parenting/grandparenting? ADVICE PLEASE?
I dont know how old you are, but I do know that you have tons of smarts..
Men like that are a waste of space, and its good to know that the younger generations are knowledgeable of these slimeballs, even if there parents have come communication issues.
I'm guessing they assume your smart enough to already understand you shouldn't get involved in that stuff and they seem to be right.
x
They probably know that you're smart enough, otherwise they probably would have said something. You obviously are smart enough to understand, otherwise you wouldn't be asking about it.My grandmother and abusive relationships, irresponsible parenting/grandparenting? ADVICE PLEASE?
I dont know how old you are, but I do know that you have tons of smarts..
Men like that are a waste of space, and its good to know that the younger generations are knowledgeable of these slimeballs, even if there parents have come communication issues.
I'm guessing they assume your smart enough to already understand you shouldn't get involved in that stuff and they seem to be right.
x
Advice on how to keep a long distance relationship?
firstly I am in a long distance relationship. Secondly I appear to have jealousy issues with his friends for getting to spend all the time, i know we'd spend together if we had the same chance. I keep wondering if I should just cut it off. He calls once in awhile and sometimes he forgets. I have an urge to call all the time and an immense curiosity of what he is doing? That when he calls it feels like its not good enough to satisfy the immense curiosity... or that he does not care the way I do. Is this salvageable. Is there any advice to make this relationship work?Advice on how to keep a long distance relationship?
Maybe you should just talk to him some more about it. I'm sure he doesn't see what you see since you are probably forming somewhat separate lives. Just plan out some time just for you and him and stick to it.
If he understands then it is worth the try, if he doesn't agree with you on a set time, or he can't keep to it then leave him.
Just make sure to tell him if something is bothering you, so he can understand. Guys dislike being left in the dark, and miscommunication is a serious problem in relationships sometimes, especially long distance ones.
Goodluck cutey :)Advice on how to keep a long distance relationship?
I was in a long distance relationship for 10 years and it worked out fine. Just remember that if your constantly thinking about what he's doing you'll drive yourself crazy. If you constantly call him, you'll drive him crazy. If there's no trust forget about it. If he ';forgets'; to call you, forget about it. Give the phone a rest, if he cares, he'll be trying to track you down, not the other way around. Lastly, get some Self-esteem it sounds like you need it.
I was in a long distance relationship for four years and unfortunately it doesn't get any easier! The fact is (as much as I hate to have to say it) long distance relationships are hard work and you have to weigh up the good points with the bad points to realise whether it works out. Don't call him too much because eventually it will drive him away and just remember, he's probably feeling as frustrated as you are! Good luck.
Long distance relationships can be hard at times... If you really like him, or love him, do not cut it off. Try to make the relationship work by asking him to call sometimes, or asking him if you can call him, and ask him what he's up to, what he's thinking about, etc.
Hopefully that helped.
That he doesn't make the same effort as you, is a sign that the relationship doesn't mean much to him. So in this case it doesn't matter, if you call write get in any sort of contact frequently. He sees it as a bother. Nope it can't be saved. You already notice and feel you care more than he does. I would suggest getting a boyfriend, that is willing to make the same efforts as you.
im currently in a long distance relationship and i feel the same i thought something was happenin between him and his friend but then i spoke to him and i got him to tell me everything his friends said and now i trust him completely have you tried speaking to him? if you haven't try it because it helps and you feel better afterwards
Long distance relationships are difficult. I think it's almost impossible for there not to be jealousy and curiosity. The most important thing you can do is be honest and communicate how you are feeling. If he doesn't know, then he won't change.
In a long distance relationship, all you can do is talk on the phone, email, instane message, etc. so you should call him more. If he has a problem then the relationship shouldn't work.
oooh im in a long distance one 2. and i just go with da flow. he calls he calls he doesn't he doesn't end of story. i love him but im not gonna bug him or distrust him cuz i take dis as a real face 2 face relationship
Web cam!!!!
answer mine please
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=An0YP8tuRqvpwMowflLt05fsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090428174508AALu1hB
You need to trust him to have this work. You should arrange a time with him to always connect and spend time together. Not just whenever. Tell him you need this time.
long distance relationship does not last so just brake up with him
don't do it it wont work!
Dump his asssss
Take time to think and then do the thing that you feel good with. I wish for the best!
if you don't trust him then it wont work
Wow! I've been in a long distance relationship for almost ten months now and I can tell you its HARRRRRRD! First, you have to be able to set aside time for each other. Maybe make a schedule. Second, the jealousy thing has to go. If you are always worrying about what he might do and not trusting him then I can tell you straight up its not going to work. The best thing for a long distance relationship is the internet. Webcams and msn chat. Things like that will really help. Especially when you wonder what he is up to.
And if you really think he doesn't care enough or it's not going to work until/if he comes back, I recommend not doing it. Long distance takes immense patience and coping. Its tough.
Good luck.
I was in a long distance relationship too, the way I made I it work was constantly talking. Maybe not necessarily calling each othe rall day, but texting or myspace or emailing each other, also even with all the constant communication we still found it hard and stressful because we couldn't see each other but we were willing to try and work through it all. So it is salvagabe if you are both willing to work it out. The jelousy thing is understandable, you never get to see him which makes things alot more difficult. But if you can work on your communication skills with each other more things should start getting better.
Make sure you know what time zone the other person is in. Set up a clock in your house on their time zone. Knowing their schedule reduces the chance of you telephoning them at 2:00 a.m. when you think it's mid afternoon.
Ensure you have a long distance calling plan. The fact that you can dial internationally doesn't mean you have a long distance calling plan. Without a calling plan you first month's telephone bill could be more than your mortgage.
Set up a regular time when one person calls the other. Work this time around other commitments so that neither of you is rushing home to receive a phone call. Recognize too that there may be times when they are unable to call, or you may not be able to receive the call. Don't take this as a sign of disinterest, realize that sometimes life interferes with schedules.
Know who to contact in the event of an emergency, and inform them of who will contact them if you befall an emergency. Exchange next of kin or parents contact details not for social chat, but in the event of unforeseen circumstances.
Purchase a web cam. Talking on the phone, letters and email are all fine but a web cam allows you to have that ';real time'; interaction.
Spend as much time planning your holidays and time together, as you do your time apart. A long distance relationship is no reason for either of you to put a hold on everything else that you do. Ensure you do not cut yourself off from the real world, racing home to spend all your free time on your long distance relationship.
Virtual dates can keep the magic alive until you are together. The Internet allows users to tour world class museums together, visits sites and interact. Scheduling dates for important events can include having the same meal together, birthday events and watching the same television show.
I myself am in a long distance relationship too. Let me give you my best advice. I was in a 5 yr relationship with a guy that lived 8 miles from me. It didn't work. Unlike me, my ex was like your bf. Always out with buddies and forgot to call me and not very attentive and affectionate. I myself am very attentive and affectionate. I'm a huge jealous freak. So his personality and his character definitely didn't match mine. I tried changing for him but it didn't work because I wasn't happy with my ';new self';.
Now in my new long distance relationship we have been together for 5 months. He is going to visit me for the first time. He lives in Florida and I live in Chicago, and this relationship is going way better than my previous relationship. Why? Because my new bf satisfies and understands my needs. Such as...he is very attentive, calls me no less than 4 times a day, yes we argue but who doesnt? He calls me every night and hardly goes out with friends.
My advice to you is, don't go through with this relationship. If it is already on a rocky road it can't be fixed. You need to find someone who meets your personality someone who shares your same fears, care and needs in a relationship. Yes you may have TONS of things in common but most important is that both of you require same attention. There's a lot of fish in the sea and when you least expect it you will find your half.
I personally never thought I would find someone as myself, very jealous and high demand with wanting to hear from my bf every minute of the day...and there's a little of everything out there. If you are the way you are there's someone just like that as well. Everyone has a soul mate, other half, twin etc...whatever you want to call it. You just gotta find someone that needs and has your same requirements to have a stable and serious relationship....
your current boyfriend doesn't sound like it's something that will last, its better to face the facts now than play fool and face them later when they hurt the most.
If you are the jealous type then a long distance relationship won't work for you unless it's temporary (like he's taking care of his mother while she's dying but he'll come back).
Schedule talk time with him. I suggest you both get a web cam (you can mail him one as a gift) and then both download skype (it's free) or some other video chat service. That way you can see what he looks like on any particular day, which is what you're missing by being so far apart. Do you two like texting? Y'all can text your thoughts throughout the day, ';I just saw this guy that looked just like that awful waiter from ......'; or ';I miss seeing the smile you always had after we kissed.'; or whatever.
Have a heart to heart with him to see what he thinks about this long distance thing. Does he think it's worth it?
Good luck.
I am in a long distance relationship and I know what you mean. I'm always the one to email, call, etc. I drive to see him once a week but he rarely comes to see me or contact me. I feel like I do all of the work but he assures me he feels the same about me but just isn't nearly as clingy as me. I laugh because I am far from clingy.
I think you really need to decide if you are okay with things the way they are. If you are then great but if you know it will continue to bother you, I would suggest breaking up. He most likely is just fine with the occasional contact but you want and need more.
Maybe you should just talk to him some more about it. I'm sure he doesn't see what you see since you are probably forming somewhat separate lives. Just plan out some time just for you and him and stick to it.
If he understands then it is worth the try, if he doesn't agree with you on a set time, or he can't keep to it then leave him.
Just make sure to tell him if something is bothering you, so he can understand. Guys dislike being left in the dark, and miscommunication is a serious problem in relationships sometimes, especially long distance ones.
Goodluck cutey :)Advice on how to keep a long distance relationship?
I was in a long distance relationship for 10 years and it worked out fine. Just remember that if your constantly thinking about what he's doing you'll drive yourself crazy. If you constantly call him, you'll drive him crazy. If there's no trust forget about it. If he ';forgets'; to call you, forget about it. Give the phone a rest, if he cares, he'll be trying to track you down, not the other way around. Lastly, get some Self-esteem it sounds like you need it.
I was in a long distance relationship for four years and unfortunately it doesn't get any easier! The fact is (as much as I hate to have to say it) long distance relationships are hard work and you have to weigh up the good points with the bad points to realise whether it works out. Don't call him too much because eventually it will drive him away and just remember, he's probably feeling as frustrated as you are! Good luck.
Long distance relationships can be hard at times... If you really like him, or love him, do not cut it off. Try to make the relationship work by asking him to call sometimes, or asking him if you can call him, and ask him what he's up to, what he's thinking about, etc.
Hopefully that helped.
That he doesn't make the same effort as you, is a sign that the relationship doesn't mean much to him. So in this case it doesn't matter, if you call write get in any sort of contact frequently. He sees it as a bother. Nope it can't be saved. You already notice and feel you care more than he does. I would suggest getting a boyfriend, that is willing to make the same efforts as you.
im currently in a long distance relationship and i feel the same i thought something was happenin between him and his friend but then i spoke to him and i got him to tell me everything his friends said and now i trust him completely have you tried speaking to him? if you haven't try it because it helps and you feel better afterwards
Long distance relationships are difficult. I think it's almost impossible for there not to be jealousy and curiosity. The most important thing you can do is be honest and communicate how you are feeling. If he doesn't know, then he won't change.
In a long distance relationship, all you can do is talk on the phone, email, instane message, etc. so you should call him more. If he has a problem then the relationship shouldn't work.
oooh im in a long distance one 2. and i just go with da flow. he calls he calls he doesn't he doesn't end of story. i love him but im not gonna bug him or distrust him cuz i take dis as a real face 2 face relationship
Web cam!!!!
answer mine please
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=An0YP8tuRqvpwMowflLt05fsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090428174508AALu1hB
You need to trust him to have this work. You should arrange a time with him to always connect and spend time together. Not just whenever. Tell him you need this time.
long distance relationship does not last so just brake up with him
don't do it it wont work!
Dump his asssss
Take time to think and then do the thing that you feel good with. I wish for the best!
if you don't trust him then it wont work
Wow! I've been in a long distance relationship for almost ten months now and I can tell you its HARRRRRRD! First, you have to be able to set aside time for each other. Maybe make a schedule. Second, the jealousy thing has to go. If you are always worrying about what he might do and not trusting him then I can tell you straight up its not going to work. The best thing for a long distance relationship is the internet. Webcams and msn chat. Things like that will really help. Especially when you wonder what he is up to.
And if you really think he doesn't care enough or it's not going to work until/if he comes back, I recommend not doing it. Long distance takes immense patience and coping. Its tough.
Good luck.
I was in a long distance relationship too, the way I made I it work was constantly talking. Maybe not necessarily calling each othe rall day, but texting or myspace or emailing each other, also even with all the constant communication we still found it hard and stressful because we couldn't see each other but we were willing to try and work through it all. So it is salvagabe if you are both willing to work it out. The jelousy thing is understandable, you never get to see him which makes things alot more difficult. But if you can work on your communication skills with each other more things should start getting better.
Make sure you know what time zone the other person is in. Set up a clock in your house on their time zone. Knowing their schedule reduces the chance of you telephoning them at 2:00 a.m. when you think it's mid afternoon.
Ensure you have a long distance calling plan. The fact that you can dial internationally doesn't mean you have a long distance calling plan. Without a calling plan you first month's telephone bill could be more than your mortgage.
Set up a regular time when one person calls the other. Work this time around other commitments so that neither of you is rushing home to receive a phone call. Recognize too that there may be times when they are unable to call, or you may not be able to receive the call. Don't take this as a sign of disinterest, realize that sometimes life interferes with schedules.
Know who to contact in the event of an emergency, and inform them of who will contact them if you befall an emergency. Exchange next of kin or parents contact details not for social chat, but in the event of unforeseen circumstances.
Purchase a web cam. Talking on the phone, letters and email are all fine but a web cam allows you to have that ';real time'; interaction.
Spend as much time planning your holidays and time together, as you do your time apart. A long distance relationship is no reason for either of you to put a hold on everything else that you do. Ensure you do not cut yourself off from the real world, racing home to spend all your free time on your long distance relationship.
Virtual dates can keep the magic alive until you are together. The Internet allows users to tour world class museums together, visits sites and interact. Scheduling dates for important events can include having the same meal together, birthday events and watching the same television show.
I myself am in a long distance relationship too. Let me give you my best advice. I was in a 5 yr relationship with a guy that lived 8 miles from me. It didn't work. Unlike me, my ex was like your bf. Always out with buddies and forgot to call me and not very attentive and affectionate. I myself am very attentive and affectionate. I'm a huge jealous freak. So his personality and his character definitely didn't match mine. I tried changing for him but it didn't work because I wasn't happy with my ';new self';.
Now in my new long distance relationship we have been together for 5 months. He is going to visit me for the first time. He lives in Florida and I live in Chicago, and this relationship is going way better than my previous relationship. Why? Because my new bf satisfies and understands my needs. Such as...he is very attentive, calls me no less than 4 times a day, yes we argue but who doesnt? He calls me every night and hardly goes out with friends.
My advice to you is, don't go through with this relationship. If it is already on a rocky road it can't be fixed. You need to find someone who meets your personality someone who shares your same fears, care and needs in a relationship. Yes you may have TONS of things in common but most important is that both of you require same attention. There's a lot of fish in the sea and when you least expect it you will find your half.
I personally never thought I would find someone as myself, very jealous and high demand with wanting to hear from my bf every minute of the day...and there's a little of everything out there. If you are the way you are there's someone just like that as well. Everyone has a soul mate, other half, twin etc...whatever you want to call it. You just gotta find someone that needs and has your same requirements to have a stable and serious relationship....
your current boyfriend doesn't sound like it's something that will last, its better to face the facts now than play fool and face them later when they hurt the most.
If you are the jealous type then a long distance relationship won't work for you unless it's temporary (like he's taking care of his mother while she's dying but he'll come back).
Schedule talk time with him. I suggest you both get a web cam (you can mail him one as a gift) and then both download skype (it's free) or some other video chat service. That way you can see what he looks like on any particular day, which is what you're missing by being so far apart. Do you two like texting? Y'all can text your thoughts throughout the day, ';I just saw this guy that looked just like that awful waiter from ......'; or ';I miss seeing the smile you always had after we kissed.'; or whatever.
Have a heart to heart with him to see what he thinks about this long distance thing. Does he think it's worth it?
Good luck.
I am in a long distance relationship and I know what you mean. I'm always the one to email, call, etc. I drive to see him once a week but he rarely comes to see me or contact me. I feel like I do all of the work but he assures me he feels the same about me but just isn't nearly as clingy as me. I laugh because I am far from clingy.
I think you really need to decide if you are okay with things the way they are. If you are then great but if you know it will continue to bother you, I would suggest breaking up. He most likely is just fine with the occasional contact but you want and need more.
Advice on restarting life after an emotionally abusive relationship?
I am 21 and had a very emotionally abusive ex that I dated for 3 years. This guy was gorgeous and charming but when the real him came out he was a insecure liar who had no job, fails out of school, and has to rely on his dad to support him. I on the other hand have a great job, completely support myself, and go very well in school. I finally said enough was enough and got out after the worst year of my life of being lead on, lied to, and put down. I really have to restart my life now and need some advice on how to do it or some stories to make me hopefully I will love again. I have days where all I want to do it give up and go back to my ex but I'm trying to hold it together. Help!?Advice on restarting life after an emotionally abusive relationship?
Stay Strong. Your intuition is what you want to listen to at this point. You've seen the bad part of a relationship. Stay open so you can see the good. Your intuition will let you know if you're going down the wrong path in the future. Listen to that small voice.
You will love again. It's what is in you or you wouldn't be asking. Don't look backwards. It's ok to love, even if it's the wrong person for you. But know to love at a distance if they are wrong for you.
Good Luck, you can make your own destiny. It's worth the effort. Stay calm and don't make your focus ';hard'; on the prize. Enjoy it all.Advice on restarting life after an emotionally abusive relationship?
Nah, don't go back to him.
You've already done the most difficult step by getting rid of him. Now just stay away.
Remember if you go back to him nothing will change, if things didn't workoout the first time, what makes you think that it would the second time?
I've learned that the key to be happy with someone is being happy with yourself first!
Remember that, and take sometime for you ;)
First of all...never ever go back to that ex! It'll only get worse and you deserve better.
Don't worry about loving again....that will happen on it's own. In the meantime, you can get counseling or just throw yourself into your work or school. Make plans for the future that do not include that ex.
Stay Strong. Your intuition is what you want to listen to at this point. You've seen the bad part of a relationship. Stay open so you can see the good. Your intuition will let you know if you're going down the wrong path in the future. Listen to that small voice.
You will love again. It's what is in you or you wouldn't be asking. Don't look backwards. It's ok to love, even if it's the wrong person for you. But know to love at a distance if they are wrong for you.
Good Luck, you can make your own destiny. It's worth the effort. Stay calm and don't make your focus ';hard'; on the prize. Enjoy it all.Advice on restarting life after an emotionally abusive relationship?
Nah, don't go back to him.
You've already done the most difficult step by getting rid of him. Now just stay away.
Remember if you go back to him nothing will change, if things didn't workoout the first time, what makes you think that it would the second time?
I've learned that the key to be happy with someone is being happy with yourself first!
Remember that, and take sometime for you ;)
First of all...never ever go back to that ex! It'll only get worse and you deserve better.
Don't worry about loving again....that will happen on it's own. In the meantime, you can get counseling or just throw yourself into your work or school. Make plans for the future that do not include that ex.
My husband wants me to have a fling with a female, any advice. I am curious. Would it ruin our relationship?
Why does he want you to do that? Does he want to watch? This sounds very odd to me. Would you want him to have a ';fling'; with a gay man?
Unless you are prepared for unpleasant repercussions, tell him to put the idea where the sun does not shine.
Rose P.My husband wants me to have a fling with a female, any advice. I am curious. Would it ruin our relationship?
Hi, There are a couple of ';key'; words in your statement... Your husband ';WANTS'; you to have a fling with a female.
That's okay for him, but WHAT ABOUT YOU...? Is this what you WANT..?
And you said You are curious... As to what..? Whether it would ruin your relationship or curious about being with another female.
Regardless of how close'; your relationship is, don't get ';pushed'; into something you don't want to be involved in, but if your curious about the situation with another female, then it would appear as though you can see the possibilities to all of this..
Do think it all through very thoroughly - a night's excitement may not work out all in your favour in the long run...
Good luck in your decision..
Regards,
Rachelle In High HeelsMy husband wants me to have a fling with a female, any advice. I am curious. Would it ruin our relationship?
It all depends on how stable your relationship is. If you are both not 100% on board with it you would be well advised not to. My wife and I have done this and we have not had any major problems other than the occasional bout of jealousy (not just on her side but on mine). The first thing you need to do is ALOT of talking. Talk about your concerns and be open and honest with each other. Don't hold back on any questions, just let it rip. The most important thing is communication. Not just with him, but with her. The last thing you want to do is make her mad, because that could be a wedge driven between you and your husband. Hope this answer helped. BTW, we've been married 15 years as a testimony.
Randy
yea, I think that it would ruin your relationship. He may think it won't and you may wonder if it will but it will. in less its a one night 3some a fling with someones else ruins relationships.
well if your husband may be open enough to not get jealous. that would be cool.....but what if you started to like your female friend more than your husband? Just some things to think about.......
I think that it would ruin your relationship. plus I just don't get it why people want to do that.
So...President Bush is a genetic success?
Yes I'm sure he does....that is the ultimate guy fantasy.chap balm
Unless you are prepared for unpleasant repercussions, tell him to put the idea where the sun does not shine.
Rose P.My husband wants me to have a fling with a female, any advice. I am curious. Would it ruin our relationship?
Hi, There are a couple of ';key'; words in your statement... Your husband ';WANTS'; you to have a fling with a female.
That's okay for him, but WHAT ABOUT YOU...? Is this what you WANT..?
And you said You are curious... As to what..? Whether it would ruin your relationship or curious about being with another female.
Regardless of how close'; your relationship is, don't get ';pushed'; into something you don't want to be involved in, but if your curious about the situation with another female, then it would appear as though you can see the possibilities to all of this..
Do think it all through very thoroughly - a night's excitement may not work out all in your favour in the long run...
Good luck in your decision..
Regards,
Rachelle In High HeelsMy husband wants me to have a fling with a female, any advice. I am curious. Would it ruin our relationship?
It all depends on how stable your relationship is. If you are both not 100% on board with it you would be well advised not to. My wife and I have done this and we have not had any major problems other than the occasional bout of jealousy (not just on her side but on mine). The first thing you need to do is ALOT of talking. Talk about your concerns and be open and honest with each other. Don't hold back on any questions, just let it rip. The most important thing is communication. Not just with him, but with her. The last thing you want to do is make her mad, because that could be a wedge driven between you and your husband. Hope this answer helped. BTW, we've been married 15 years as a testimony.
Randy
yea, I think that it would ruin your relationship. He may think it won't and you may wonder if it will but it will. in less its a one night 3some a fling with someones else ruins relationships.
well if your husband may be open enough to not get jealous. that would be cool.....but what if you started to like your female friend more than your husband? Just some things to think about.......
I think that it would ruin your relationship. plus I just don't get it why people want to do that.
So...President Bush is a genetic success?
Yes I'm sure he does....that is the ultimate guy fantasy.
Can't tell wheter or not a girls into me. Need advice. She just got out of long term relationship.?
This girl has called me up and offered to cook dinner for me, invited out for coffee, invited me over to walk dogs. After walking dogs she asked if I would like to watch a movie. We have never really hung out, I met her through her ex-boyfriend. I know him, but wouldn't say he was a friend more of acquaintance. Recently I saw her at a party as she was leaving and she invited me to another party. Anyway, we hung out a the second party. While there, she asked me to go sit out front with her, but when I sat down on the curb she moved away from me. She always seems distant from me, but in a nervous way. We have talked about what each of us want in someone. She is VERY shy and has admitted to being nervous around guys and not knowing how to flirt. Her roommate once told a guy we(me and the girl) were not interested in each other. Is the roomate just defensive? This girl is sending mixed signals. Acting flirty/saying she needs a friend and remaining distant. Is she just shy or what?Can't tell wheter or not a girls into me. Need advice. She just got out of long term relationship.?
She is probably very nervous about moving too fast because of the previous split. Just take your time. Ask her out occasionally, and take her lead as to how close you can get.Can't tell wheter or not a girls into me. Need advice. She just got out of long term relationship.?
take it slow.
time will tell.
for now just be there for her;
as a friend.
she's scared dude!
you answered your own question.
she asked for a FRIEND
She sounds confused (isn't sure if she wants a BF or a friend). I guess just hang out with her and give her some time. And maybe flirt a little.
If she's just coming out of a long term relationship, she probably still doesn't know what she wants yet. Be friends get to know her and spend more time with her, time will tell you all.
she is just testing you... a bit of confusing...
She is probably very nervous about moving too fast because of the previous split. Just take your time. Ask her out occasionally, and take her lead as to how close you can get.Can't tell wheter or not a girls into me. Need advice. She just got out of long term relationship.?
take it slow.
time will tell.
for now just be there for her;
as a friend.
she's scared dude!
you answered your own question.
she asked for a FRIEND
She sounds confused (isn't sure if she wants a BF or a friend). I guess just hang out with her and give her some time. And maybe flirt a little.
If she's just coming out of a long term relationship, she probably still doesn't know what she wants yet. Be friends get to know her and spend more time with her, time will tell you all.
she is just testing you... a bit of confusing...
I have a very strained relationship with my ex husband, and I need advice about it.?
We split up in 2003, when our kids were 3 and 5 years old. They have lived with me since then, except for every other weekend visitation when they stay with their dad. He has made decisions about the kids that I don't agree with, but I feel like my hands are tied and there's not really anything I can do about it unless I want to make things really nasty between us (and end up putting the kids in the middle of our disagreements).
Examples: Has decided the kids will be vaccinated for the flu, and informed me that if I don't take them for the flu shots that he is going to while they're staying with him for the weekend. Our son is autistic, and with all the controversy about the possibility of the flu shot contributing to autism, I've decided that I don't want to have them vaccinated.
He enrolled them in Lutheran religious education classes for Sunday mornings when they stay with him. The kids are both baptized Catholic, and attend Catholic mass (although not very often, it's still VERY different from Lutheran service).
2 years ago, he and his wife had a stillborn baby when she was 7 months pregnant. They take the kids to the cemetery to 'visit their sister'. They never attended the actual funeral. It's almost like they're forcing the kids to go through the grieving process with them, even though they were never really involved with the pregnancy (except to see her pregnant every other weekend when they'd visit their dad). Now my daughter fantasy plays with the dead sister she's never known or even met.
He took it upon himself to give a very explicit birds and bees talk with the kids when they were 7 and 9, prompting my 7 year old daughter to write her dad a letter stating 'have lots of sexxxs so Kimberly (his wife) can have a new baby in her tummy'. When I became upset when I found out, his response was a condescending chuckle, and said 'you can't protect them forever'.
He has on NUMEROUS occasions allowed my 11 year old son to sit in the front seat of his vehicle, even just 10 days after having emergency brain surgery for meningitis... because 'he likes to ride in the front seat', AND so that his wife can sit in the back seat with the baby they now have, because she's worried the baby will 'urp' and choke on it. The drive is about 50 miles, mostly interstate with traffic moving about 75 mph.
He swears a lot, even using the 'f' word... and has told the kids he's just 'had a potty mouth since he was N*****'s age' (my son).
Has bought them and allowed them to play rated 'M' video games.
Doesn't require them to wear helmets when they bike ride or skate board in the street.
I could go on and on... he's very passive aggressive toward me still. If he finds out something bothers me, it only encourages him to do something even more. I don't know what to do...I have a very strained relationship with my ex husband, and I need advice about it.?
First off, some of these aren't very major, like the church thing, younger kids don't really get the difference in the stuff from Lutheran to Catholic (which, by the way, aren't all that different, I'm Lutheran and I went to Catholic mass once with my aunt and didn't find it too terribly different) but, on some of the other things, such as the vaccine, sex talk, and taking the kids to the cemetery (that one kind of freaks me out) are things that you and your ex should talk about. Explain why you don't want to get your son vaccinated, just explain how you feel calmly to your ex and hopefully he'll get where your coming from. ;D
On the other hand, it's very irresponsible and immature to not require your children to wear helmets, play M rated games, and cuss in front of them. I'd just tell him how you feel about it with this too.
Unfortunately, he might think of you telling him all this might be you trying to butt into his life and control him, so choose your battles very carefully. Choose one or two things that bother you a lot, is it the M games and swearing, or the no helmets and such. Perhaps counseling or a parent class or two would help both him and you get a better idea on how to parent.I have a very strained relationship with my ex husband, and I need advice about it.?
I don't see the problem, especially if Nathan (your asterisks don't hide anything) and the other kid(s) are happy. Seems like you're freaking out about nothing.
sit your ex down and disguss how you fell and your limits on what the kids should be doing.
Consider the fact that the underlying problem could that you have never got over the split. Instead of fretting over the undisputed shortcomings of your husband, concentrate more on making a life of your own. Yes you want to protect your kids and yes you have been soured by your relationship failing with their father but you seem to want to bounce accusations around as a way of scoring points over him and his new partner. Some complaints you make have legitimacy but these are few and you could choose to discuss them in a calm way with your ex. for the rest, you just have to accept that divorce brings the necessity to share. Be happy that the kids live with you the most and that you have the greatest influence. But be wary of decreasing your influence by belittling the kids father in front of them.
hmmmmmmmmm
i think you are compiling a dossier of complaints and are actively looking for things
SOME of the things i dont agree with, like riding in the front seat
however, there are a lot of trivial things in there, just because YOU dont do it that way, doesnt make you right and him wrong, attending a different church for instance, i say hurrah for teaching them more than one religion, you even admit you are not a complete practicing catholic, so rather hypocritical in my eyes
the sex thing?? they will hear worse in the playground, your littlies comment was childlike and not smutty in any way, they are right you cannot wrap in cotton wool
the baby who sadly died, who is to say how you would handle it of it were you, they are grieving, the only way they know how
sounds like you are not comfortable they have moved on and made a life together
nothing he has done suggests willful neglect, rather a differing opinion, one which probably contributed to you being divorced in the 1st place
you REALLY need to relax a little and learn to pick your battles
Wow, sounds like you are talking about my ex. He probably is still in love with you and that's why he's acting in a rebellious way. My ex got remarried too, but I married first and he told me if it didn't work out for me that he would take me back even if I made more kids. YUCK, well he is once again divorced and he and I no longer speak (my choice) our son is now a young adult so there is no need to keep in contact.
These are the problems and issues you face as divorced parents.
I would call and ask to get together with him. No kids, no current significant others, just the two of you to discuss your children.
Do not attack him. Some of the things you mention you cannot change, or stop. But other things related to their health and well being, you certainly can and do have a say in...but so does he.
Write out your concerns about the flu shot, and sitting in the front seat, cursing in front of the kids, etc. and explain to their father why you feel these are things that are detrimental to them. Listen to his side and his thinking on it as well. Also be open to anything that he thinks you could do differently.
Keep the main purpose of the conversation about your children. Let your ex know you are not out to condemn him or his parenting but that the two of you, although divorced, must raise these children together. You need to be united where the kids are concerned. It's not easy but if you are both mature about it, it can be done. You should both put the kids first. Your own personal feelings for each other need to be put aside.
As far as things like visiting their dead half sister...that is not really something you have any say in, so I wouldn't bring it up at all. Just keep it to things you have valid concerns about. The flu shot is one, that you can back up with medical data, as is your children riding in the front seat. Statistics show they are more likely to be injured in an accident if they are in the front. So you have valid worries.
Be mature, don't allow the conversation to be about him or you and your divorce. Take the high road. Ultimately the kids are what really matter and parents who get along make it better for everyone.
Examples: Has decided the kids will be vaccinated for the flu, and informed me that if I don't take them for the flu shots that he is going to while they're staying with him for the weekend. Our son is autistic, and with all the controversy about the possibility of the flu shot contributing to autism, I've decided that I don't want to have them vaccinated.
He enrolled them in Lutheran religious education classes for Sunday mornings when they stay with him. The kids are both baptized Catholic, and attend Catholic mass (although not very often, it's still VERY different from Lutheran service).
2 years ago, he and his wife had a stillborn baby when she was 7 months pregnant. They take the kids to the cemetery to 'visit their sister'. They never attended the actual funeral. It's almost like they're forcing the kids to go through the grieving process with them, even though they were never really involved with the pregnancy (except to see her pregnant every other weekend when they'd visit their dad). Now my daughter fantasy plays with the dead sister she's never known or even met.
He took it upon himself to give a very explicit birds and bees talk with the kids when they were 7 and 9, prompting my 7 year old daughter to write her dad a letter stating 'have lots of sexxxs so Kimberly (his wife) can have a new baby in her tummy'. When I became upset when I found out, his response was a condescending chuckle, and said 'you can't protect them forever'.
He has on NUMEROUS occasions allowed my 11 year old son to sit in the front seat of his vehicle, even just 10 days after having emergency brain surgery for meningitis... because 'he likes to ride in the front seat', AND so that his wife can sit in the back seat with the baby they now have, because she's worried the baby will 'urp' and choke on it. The drive is about 50 miles, mostly interstate with traffic moving about 75 mph.
He swears a lot, even using the 'f' word... and has told the kids he's just 'had a potty mouth since he was N*****'s age' (my son).
Has bought them and allowed them to play rated 'M' video games.
Doesn't require them to wear helmets when they bike ride or skate board in the street.
I could go on and on... he's very passive aggressive toward me still. If he finds out something bothers me, it only encourages him to do something even more. I don't know what to do...I have a very strained relationship with my ex husband, and I need advice about it.?
First off, some of these aren't very major, like the church thing, younger kids don't really get the difference in the stuff from Lutheran to Catholic (which, by the way, aren't all that different, I'm Lutheran and I went to Catholic mass once with my aunt and didn't find it too terribly different) but, on some of the other things, such as the vaccine, sex talk, and taking the kids to the cemetery (that one kind of freaks me out) are things that you and your ex should talk about. Explain why you don't want to get your son vaccinated, just explain how you feel calmly to your ex and hopefully he'll get where your coming from. ;D
On the other hand, it's very irresponsible and immature to not require your children to wear helmets, play M rated games, and cuss in front of them. I'd just tell him how you feel about it with this too.
Unfortunately, he might think of you telling him all this might be you trying to butt into his life and control him, so choose your battles very carefully. Choose one or two things that bother you a lot, is it the M games and swearing, or the no helmets and such. Perhaps counseling or a parent class or two would help both him and you get a better idea on how to parent.I have a very strained relationship with my ex husband, and I need advice about it.?
I don't see the problem, especially if Nathan (your asterisks don't hide anything) and the other kid(s) are happy. Seems like you're freaking out about nothing.
sit your ex down and disguss how you fell and your limits on what the kids should be doing.
Consider the fact that the underlying problem could that you have never got over the split. Instead of fretting over the undisputed shortcomings of your husband, concentrate more on making a life of your own. Yes you want to protect your kids and yes you have been soured by your relationship failing with their father but you seem to want to bounce accusations around as a way of scoring points over him and his new partner. Some complaints you make have legitimacy but these are few and you could choose to discuss them in a calm way with your ex. for the rest, you just have to accept that divorce brings the necessity to share. Be happy that the kids live with you the most and that you have the greatest influence. But be wary of decreasing your influence by belittling the kids father in front of them.
hmmmmmmmmm
i think you are compiling a dossier of complaints and are actively looking for things
SOME of the things i dont agree with, like riding in the front seat
however, there are a lot of trivial things in there, just because YOU dont do it that way, doesnt make you right and him wrong, attending a different church for instance, i say hurrah for teaching them more than one religion, you even admit you are not a complete practicing catholic, so rather hypocritical in my eyes
the sex thing?? they will hear worse in the playground, your littlies comment was childlike and not smutty in any way, they are right you cannot wrap in cotton wool
the baby who sadly died, who is to say how you would handle it of it were you, they are grieving, the only way they know how
sounds like you are not comfortable they have moved on and made a life together
nothing he has done suggests willful neglect, rather a differing opinion, one which probably contributed to you being divorced in the 1st place
you REALLY need to relax a little and learn to pick your battles
Wow, sounds like you are talking about my ex. He probably is still in love with you and that's why he's acting in a rebellious way. My ex got remarried too, but I married first and he told me if it didn't work out for me that he would take me back even if I made more kids. YUCK, well he is once again divorced and he and I no longer speak (my choice) our son is now a young adult so there is no need to keep in contact.
These are the problems and issues you face as divorced parents.
I would call and ask to get together with him. No kids, no current significant others, just the two of you to discuss your children.
Do not attack him. Some of the things you mention you cannot change, or stop. But other things related to their health and well being, you certainly can and do have a say in...but so does he.
Write out your concerns about the flu shot, and sitting in the front seat, cursing in front of the kids, etc. and explain to their father why you feel these are things that are detrimental to them. Listen to his side and his thinking on it as well. Also be open to anything that he thinks you could do differently.
Keep the main purpose of the conversation about your children. Let your ex know you are not out to condemn him or his parenting but that the two of you, although divorced, must raise these children together. You need to be united where the kids are concerned. It's not easy but if you are both mature about it, it can be done. You should both put the kids first. Your own personal feelings for each other need to be put aside.
As far as things like visiting their dead half sister...that is not really something you have any say in, so I wouldn't bring it up at all. Just keep it to things you have valid concerns about. The flu shot is one, that you can back up with medical data, as is your children riding in the front seat. Statistics show they are more likely to be injured in an accident if they are in the front. So you have valid worries.
Be mature, don't allow the conversation to be about him or you and your divorce. Take the high road. Ultimately the kids are what really matter and parents who get along make it better for everyone.
Need help with my crumbling relationship, read the passage and responde, please. seeking advice?
Okay, so first off, I know it鈥檚 not exactly proper to put your personal life on the computer, but I need help and multiple answers from different views. I鈥檝e been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We鈥檝e broken up several times (about 5/6 in all). He鈥檚 cheated on me once; I cheated on him for the first time like 2 days ago. I love him and I care about him, but at the same time I don鈥檛 want to be with him due to the fact that I鈥檓 me, meaning: I have the tendency of falling into situation where I do stupid and spontaneous things that always get me in trouble. I went on vacation to spend 5 days at my father鈥檚 house, and I met this guy. I really like him and we had sex. Now, my boyfriend is saying that if I truly love him that we can start over and that he鈥檚 willing to forgive me. However, at the same time I don鈥檛 want hurt him anymore, because I can鈥檛 fully promise that I won鈥檛 do it again. I don鈥檛 know, I鈥檓 just so confused and I don鈥檛 exactly know where I鈥檓 supposed to go from here. I told him that I would call him back later tonight. I don鈥檛 know if I should end it now. Your supposed to benefit from relationships, the other person is supposed to make you happy and improve your life, not bring you down. We鈥檝e been doing nothing but arguing lately. He says I hurt him, and that鈥檚 obvious. I shouldn鈥檛 have cheated, but the bad part is, I don鈥檛 regret it. Can anyone help? If you have questions or need more info, message me on yahoo.Need help with my crumbling relationship, read the passage and responde, please. seeking advice?
well I wouldn't have told him at all, but since you say you dont really regret cheating, than breakup with him. This way if you miss him you'll be forced to change your ways and if you don't than you just saved yourself from wasting alot of time and hurting him again.Need help with my crumbling relationship, read the passage and responde, please. seeking advice?
ok.first of all you are a free spirit..and free spirits should never really have boyfriends ,because they like to be free to hook up with anyone they like,, so.. you should all ways stay free..or just masturbate a lot if you cant be truth full ..so... like that only your genitals can get hurt...seriously though you should tell everyone you meet that you are a free spirit so you wont break hearts..that would be the fair thing to do..because you seem like a nice person
He sounds desperate and you sound like you need some space.
tell him you want to date other people.
basically here's the thing, the fact that you cheated on him for revenge shows that you don't love him
wow, that was a realization wasn't it
he also said he would honestly take you back after you cheated, but you feel no regret for it
this shows you aren't committed and therefore you should just end it, as there is nothing left in the relationship.
being spontaneous just means you want instant gratification, which is both greedy and a problem that can be helped by actually thinking.
End it now. There is no other answer. You are not committed to him and there is broken trust. Doomed from the start.
Well, you answered your question. You've been going together almost two years, and you break up every 4 or 5 months. You argue a lot, you've both cheated, and you don't regret it. I think you love him, you just aren't in love with him. He wants to start again in a committed relationship and you don't want to commit. You should tell him that you don't think you can uphold that commitment because you have good intentions but not the strength to stay the course. Maybe two or three years down the road with more experience, you will be ready, and maybe he'll still be around. But for right now everything you said, sounds like NO to me.
It sounds like the best idea is to break it off with him. If you know that there is a good chance that you'll cheat on him again, then spare his feelings. If you honestly wanted to be with him, you wouldn't think about cheating on him. It shouldn't even cross your mind, and if it does, then you should have the willpower to avoid it. It wouldn't be right to get together with him knowing that you might hurt him again like that, especially if you don't regret the last time. That's not a good sign for this relationship.
I think you should end it now, letting it drag on with only make it more painful for you in the end, cheating is an all around bad thing and when it comes into play in a relationship, well things just are as well put together and it loosens your bond with that person. Also if the relationship was really meant to be and love was Truly there, cheating would of never occurred. Just let him go but try and do it as easy as you can.
i'm glad i'm not n ur shoes gurl!!! i can answer only from my experience and i know my bf didn't want me REALLY and cheated on me. if you think you've got all u can out of the relationship, move on and don't lead him on. but dont do harshly (and with the way u sound u won't). it's not worth it to invest a lot more time into something you know is not going anywhere.
first of all you really can't say that you have a realationship at all. because you and he both would'nt do the things you BOTH have done. maybe you both need time apart to figure out if you really do want this thing to work, i really don't think you are ready for just one guy yet. i think you are young and are not done exploring what is out there. and you certainly don't love him or you would at least feel the slightess bit sorry for what has happen. you need to part for awhile and see what happens, it sure can not hurt. you agree?
in my personal opinion I think you should end it, its not fair to him especially since you can't promise you won't do it again, I mean what's the point of being in a relationship when your gonna cheat, then he's gonna cheat, back and forth back and forth. No use.
';If your not getting married, your breaking up'; that's the way I look at it. Unless ofcourse you don't plan on getting married lol
I'd break up with him. Love is when two people have a bond for each other, not lies hurtful things. You'd both be happy with somebody else.
There is many fish in the sea, but he isn't the catch of the day......
Break it off, there is nothing there worth saving.
Chalk it up to youthful experience, and learn NOT to do spontaneous things that are going to get you into trouble.
NEVER take back a cheater!
You don't need to be wasting his life if you think you can't control yourself.
You don't need to be with anyone.
That's really selfish of you to spend two years with a guy who seems like he truly cares about you, and your feelings.
I really think you should leave him instead of hurting him more than you already have.
And I do not mean any of this in a mean/rude manner.
well I wouldn't have told him at all, but since you say you dont really regret cheating, than breakup with him. This way if you miss him you'll be forced to change your ways and if you don't than you just saved yourself from wasting alot of time and hurting him again.Need help with my crumbling relationship, read the passage and responde, please. seeking advice?
ok.first of all you are a free spirit..and free spirits should never really have boyfriends ,because they like to be free to hook up with anyone they like,, so.. you should all ways stay free..or just masturbate a lot if you cant be truth full ..so... like that only your genitals can get hurt...seriously though you should tell everyone you meet that you are a free spirit so you wont break hearts..that would be the fair thing to do..because you seem like a nice person
He sounds desperate and you sound like you need some space.
tell him you want to date other people.
basically here's the thing, the fact that you cheated on him for revenge shows that you don't love him
wow, that was a realization wasn't it
he also said he would honestly take you back after you cheated, but you feel no regret for it
this shows you aren't committed and therefore you should just end it, as there is nothing left in the relationship.
being spontaneous just means you want instant gratification, which is both greedy and a problem that can be helped by actually thinking.
End it now. There is no other answer. You are not committed to him and there is broken trust. Doomed from the start.
Well, you answered your question. You've been going together almost two years, and you break up every 4 or 5 months. You argue a lot, you've both cheated, and you don't regret it. I think you love him, you just aren't in love with him. He wants to start again in a committed relationship and you don't want to commit. You should tell him that you don't think you can uphold that commitment because you have good intentions but not the strength to stay the course. Maybe two or three years down the road with more experience, you will be ready, and maybe he'll still be around. But for right now everything you said, sounds like NO to me.
It sounds like the best idea is to break it off with him. If you know that there is a good chance that you'll cheat on him again, then spare his feelings. If you honestly wanted to be with him, you wouldn't think about cheating on him. It shouldn't even cross your mind, and if it does, then you should have the willpower to avoid it. It wouldn't be right to get together with him knowing that you might hurt him again like that, especially if you don't regret the last time. That's not a good sign for this relationship.
I think you should end it now, letting it drag on with only make it more painful for you in the end, cheating is an all around bad thing and when it comes into play in a relationship, well things just are as well put together and it loosens your bond with that person. Also if the relationship was really meant to be and love was Truly there, cheating would of never occurred. Just let him go but try and do it as easy as you can.
i'm glad i'm not n ur shoes gurl!!! i can answer only from my experience and i know my bf didn't want me REALLY and cheated on me. if you think you've got all u can out of the relationship, move on and don't lead him on. but dont do harshly (and with the way u sound u won't). it's not worth it to invest a lot more time into something you know is not going anywhere.
first of all you really can't say that you have a realationship at all. because you and he both would'nt do the things you BOTH have done. maybe you both need time apart to figure out if you really do want this thing to work, i really don't think you are ready for just one guy yet. i think you are young and are not done exploring what is out there. and you certainly don't love him or you would at least feel the slightess bit sorry for what has happen. you need to part for awhile and see what happens, it sure can not hurt. you agree?
in my personal opinion I think you should end it, its not fair to him especially since you can't promise you won't do it again, I mean what's the point of being in a relationship when your gonna cheat, then he's gonna cheat, back and forth back and forth. No use.
';If your not getting married, your breaking up'; that's the way I look at it. Unless ofcourse you don't plan on getting married lol
I'd break up with him. Love is when two people have a bond for each other, not lies hurtful things. You'd both be happy with somebody else.
There is many fish in the sea, but he isn't the catch of the day......
Break it off, there is nothing there worth saving.
Chalk it up to youthful experience, and learn NOT to do spontaneous things that are going to get you into trouble.
NEVER take back a cheater!
You don't need to be wasting his life if you think you can't control yourself.
You don't need to be with anyone.
That's really selfish of you to spend two years with a guy who seems like he truly cares about you, and your feelings.
I really think you should leave him instead of hurting him more than you already have.
And I do not mean any of this in a mean/rude manner.
I need sum advice on what 2 do bwt my boyfriend/relationship its bringing me down.?
im 16 and he will be 16 this year,we love each other well he tells me he does and i belive him 2 my best ability but i feel kind of depressed when i dnt see him,i alwayz seem 2be his last priority well it feels that way most of the time he is engaged wit his footie and when he isnt playin or watchin it he spends the rest of the time in the day with his m8s or is busy with his family...i understand that he has a life 2live and that he needs time to himself but the only chances i get 2see him is about 2x a week for a couple of hours in the evening,so i never get 2 spend quality time with him in the day like goin 2the cinema %26amp; so on.I am Alwayz the 1 to contact him! 2c wether he is free and so on but whenever i do he is alwayz saying thigs such as ';i cant im stayin round my m8s house 2nite/seeing my m8s 2day'; or ';im goin 2 watch a footie match/playing it/training'; when we are 2gether he is so nice bt it jst its seems he dosnt hav that much time 4me and it makes me cry coz i wana c him :(I need sum advice on what 2 do bwt my boyfriend/relationship its bringing me down.?
Your get emotionally attached with this guy and thats not too good.If he loves you the same way you do he would be calling you and asking you to meet him.Dont call him again and again let him call you.
You can also talk to him about him not giving you enough time
Your get emotionally attached with this guy and thats not too good.If he loves you the same way you do he would be calling you and asking you to meet him.Dont call him again and again let him call you.
You can also talk to him about him not giving you enough time
Advice on how to keep up a long-distance relationship?
Hiya. My gf spends quite a bit of time in the USA as part of her job.sometimes it can be up to a month.She's American anyway %26amp; says it's part of the job..
We've been together over a year.She says she loves me more than ever %26amp; has been faithful to me as i have with her.Yet i'm not truly happy about this.I can't help thinking at night she's with another guy over there.I mean how would i find out?
I love her so much yet this relationship is on her terms..But when she's over there it's on her terms.It's never when can i email you or see you on MSN.She decides when to contact me.
It was my birthday yesterday.For sure i got a lovely card Saying she loves me %26amp; wants to be with me %26amp; she'll see me soon .But we'd arranged to chat on MSN i stayed uo til 1am to suit her time.I got an email saying she couldn't make it -no excuse given.Just sorry sweetie, enjoy your night %26amp; i'll see you soon.
Is my gf playing around with someone else %26amp; not telling me?Why the secrecy %26amp; all on her terms.Help!Advice on how to keep up a long-distance relationship?
She seems to be very inconsiderate, even if it is due to a very demanding job, perhaps you need more out of a relationship than she does? Maybe she's the kind of girl who is very career focused and you're more the kind of guy who needs to spend lots of time with your partner?
Just a thought....Advice on how to keep up a long-distance relationship?
So you and me are on the same boat...........i trust her but i hate it when she forgets and blah blah.....
hope it all works out for you mate
you have no reason not to trust this girl however as i a female i know for sure i would have certainly made more of an effort for an occasion such as your birthday
happy belated birthday to you
very short
just make shure u keep textin and calling her daily, or get msn
We've been together over a year.She says she loves me more than ever %26amp; has been faithful to me as i have with her.Yet i'm not truly happy about this.I can't help thinking at night she's with another guy over there.I mean how would i find out?
I love her so much yet this relationship is on her terms..But when she's over there it's on her terms.It's never when can i email you or see you on MSN.She decides when to contact me.
It was my birthday yesterday.For sure i got a lovely card Saying she loves me %26amp; wants to be with me %26amp; she'll see me soon .But we'd arranged to chat on MSN i stayed uo til 1am to suit her time.I got an email saying she couldn't make it -no excuse given.Just sorry sweetie, enjoy your night %26amp; i'll see you soon.
Is my gf playing around with someone else %26amp; not telling me?Why the secrecy %26amp; all on her terms.Help!Advice on how to keep up a long-distance relationship?
She seems to be very inconsiderate, even if it is due to a very demanding job, perhaps you need more out of a relationship than she does? Maybe she's the kind of girl who is very career focused and you're more the kind of guy who needs to spend lots of time with your partner?
Just a thought....Advice on how to keep up a long-distance relationship?
So you and me are on the same boat...........i trust her but i hate it when she forgets and blah blah.....
hope it all works out for you mate
you have no reason not to trust this girl however as i a female i know for sure i would have certainly made more of an effort for an occasion such as your birthday
happy belated birthday to you
very short
just make shure u keep textin and calling her daily, or get msn
I'm in a 3 month dating relationship, but we can't get past the friendship we've had for 9 yrs. Any advice?
We have known each other for 9 years and have been friends. Now, we've have been dating for 3 months. He says he wants somthing more(not physical), but doesn't know what that is. I think it is because we have been friends for so long that we can't get past that in a dating relationship. I want to get past it but I don't know how.I'm in a 3 month dating relationship, but we can't get past the friendship we've had for 9 yrs. Any advice?
I was friends with my boyfriend for 3 years an this month will be about 8 months for us. Just keep with it and see what happens. Being friends first I think is always the best way. If you feel comfortable with him... just be your self and if it doens't work out then you still have the friends ship.
Don't worry everything will work itself out in timeI'm in a 3 month dating relationship, but we can't get past the friendship we've had for 9 yrs. Any advice?
Sex..... non-physical sex?
be romatic and try to look at him in a differents way rather than just a friend
have sex!
just act like friends still, if it is meant to blossom into something it will, Just because you are dating now doesn't mean your friendship should change, best friends make the best lovers. He probably knows you very well and since you have been friends so long, I know you are comfortable with him. Just go with the flow.
Try asking the other person. Maybe calling it out will get the ball rolling.
Get romantic and sweet......have picnics in the moonlight....lol....
me and my boyfriend is like best buddy i can tell him everything, he is my best friend and lover. once a while spicing thing up and get physical really helps in your relationship.
';Get past it?'; Why on Earth would you want to do that? The nonphysical part of a romantic relationship IS companionship and close, personal friendship.
do the stuff you would have done while you were friends but don't be a girlfriend but never forget that you are togetherchap balm
I was friends with my boyfriend for 3 years an this month will be about 8 months for us. Just keep with it and see what happens. Being friends first I think is always the best way. If you feel comfortable with him... just be your self and if it doens't work out then you still have the friends ship.
Don't worry everything will work itself out in timeI'm in a 3 month dating relationship, but we can't get past the friendship we've had for 9 yrs. Any advice?
Sex..... non-physical sex?
be romatic and try to look at him in a differents way rather than just a friend
have sex!
just act like friends still, if it is meant to blossom into something it will, Just because you are dating now doesn't mean your friendship should change, best friends make the best lovers. He probably knows you very well and since you have been friends so long, I know you are comfortable with him. Just go with the flow.
Try asking the other person. Maybe calling it out will get the ball rolling.
Get romantic and sweet......have picnics in the moonlight....lol....
me and my boyfriend is like best buddy i can tell him everything, he is my best friend and lover. once a while spicing thing up and get physical really helps in your relationship.
';Get past it?'; Why on Earth would you want to do that? The nonphysical part of a romantic relationship IS companionship and close, personal friendship.
do the stuff you would have done while you were friends but don't be a girlfriend but never forget that you are together
Being in a military relationship is affecting me really bad...i need advice!?
whenever my fiance comes home on leave, i feel that i cant be away from him for even a few minutes.
he has been in south korea for a year, and is a 4 hour drive away until august 1st, when he is deploying to baghdad.
anyways, i just get so frustrated whenever i KNOW i could be with him, but he is taking a shower, or taking a nap, or going to the store for something.
its like i almost freak out. whenever we are together, its like i constantly have to be holding his hand, no matter where we are.
i try to keep these feelings inside, because i know its not healthy, but sometimes i cant help it.
i think im scared that he's leaving me again, to go back to korea, or iraq, or wherever, i dont know.
i hate it, and i think he can tell i feel like this, and i can tell he doesnt like it.
sorry if this doesnt make sense, im really tired, and stressed because i went to see him this weekend and had to say bye today.
have you ever experienced this being in a military relationship?
thanks..Being in a military relationship is affecting me really bad...i need advice!?
Yes I have and it is soooo hard!!
Thankfully my husband understood and was ok with me being so clingy.
The day he left to go back to his duty station (he was leaving for Iraq once he got there) I sat in his lap the entire day, even while he ate lunch, if he had to go to the bathroom I either stood outside the door or went in there with him! lol
Its just part of it, you just have to try and be strong.
My husband got back from Iraq about 8 months ago, and I still freak out when he goes to work.
Good luck to you guys :)
Hope I helped.Being in a military relationship is affecting me really bad...i need advice!?
I know it doesn't really help, but that's the cost of being in a military relationship. It's just something you have to learn to deal with. If it's too much for you, maybe you're not made to be a military spouse. Just a thought. And try not to be too clingy. If he wants the attention, he'll show you. If he wants to go out with his buddies, let him. It's tough for him too.
you just have to learn to deal with it. i was pretty much the same way when my hubby and i were engaged. i lived 6 hours away and when it came time for me to leave after being with him, it about killed me. i didnt want to be away from him. now we are married and i live military life. after you get married it probably wont be any different.
It sounds like you have an unhealthy obsession with your husband. I think the thought of him going to war is giving you a complex.
I think you need to separate from him while he has to do what he has to do. You shouldn't suffer wondering if he will make it and he shouldn't expect that from you.
Drop him and get a more stable man, one that won't come home in a body bag.
these things are never easy. you aren't the first and you won't be the last. just don't let it boil over. you need to seek out others like yourself as a support group....i was on the other end of this as a deployed soldier. it's very painful, yes, but don't go it alone. contact any chaplains office on your nearest post or base for guidance.
stress can make a person very clingy and needy and the fact that you know he is going to be gone for a while doesnt help either.... voice your felling to him dont keep it inside..
Its normal.
Do give him some space %26amp; time with his palls to drink a beer.
Take comfort that he is close at hand %26amp; not posted over sea's for the moment.
A military relationship is the hardest of any. One thing that you really have to both do is a little give and take. You need to see his desire to sometimes just relax or whatever, you can still be around him however, but just try to cling to him and let him initiate that. On the other hand your fiance needs to see your need for that closeness and not always expect you to let him have what he wants. You really need to share your feelings with him if you already haven't. Establish an understanding for what he needs, and let him know what you need. Even though I am out now, me and my wife went through the same thing, and it even caused us to separate for a time.
Once you both have established what the other needs, then you both need to try at serving each other that way. However, if he is not able to let his guard down and be in that constant ';soldier'; mentality then you need to honestly tell him that it might not work out, or that it is very damaging to you and your feelings. Its tough for military guys especially, part of day to day life is to take the opportunity for down time to really relax and rest.
Hope some of this helps, we've been there though and I know that this is something that everyone says but its so true. If it is meant to be then it will.
he has been in south korea for a year, and is a 4 hour drive away until august 1st, when he is deploying to baghdad.
anyways, i just get so frustrated whenever i KNOW i could be with him, but he is taking a shower, or taking a nap, or going to the store for something.
its like i almost freak out. whenever we are together, its like i constantly have to be holding his hand, no matter where we are.
i try to keep these feelings inside, because i know its not healthy, but sometimes i cant help it.
i think im scared that he's leaving me again, to go back to korea, or iraq, or wherever, i dont know.
i hate it, and i think he can tell i feel like this, and i can tell he doesnt like it.
sorry if this doesnt make sense, im really tired, and stressed because i went to see him this weekend and had to say bye today.
have you ever experienced this being in a military relationship?
thanks..Being in a military relationship is affecting me really bad...i need advice!?
Yes I have and it is soooo hard!!
Thankfully my husband understood and was ok with me being so clingy.
The day he left to go back to his duty station (he was leaving for Iraq once he got there) I sat in his lap the entire day, even while he ate lunch, if he had to go to the bathroom I either stood outside the door or went in there with him! lol
Its just part of it, you just have to try and be strong.
My husband got back from Iraq about 8 months ago, and I still freak out when he goes to work.
Good luck to you guys :)
Hope I helped.Being in a military relationship is affecting me really bad...i need advice!?
I know it doesn't really help, but that's the cost of being in a military relationship. It's just something you have to learn to deal with. If it's too much for you, maybe you're not made to be a military spouse. Just a thought. And try not to be too clingy. If he wants the attention, he'll show you. If he wants to go out with his buddies, let him. It's tough for him too.
you just have to learn to deal with it. i was pretty much the same way when my hubby and i were engaged. i lived 6 hours away and when it came time for me to leave after being with him, it about killed me. i didnt want to be away from him. now we are married and i live military life. after you get married it probably wont be any different.
It sounds like you have an unhealthy obsession with your husband. I think the thought of him going to war is giving you a complex.
I think you need to separate from him while he has to do what he has to do. You shouldn't suffer wondering if he will make it and he shouldn't expect that from you.
Drop him and get a more stable man, one that won't come home in a body bag.
these things are never easy. you aren't the first and you won't be the last. just don't let it boil over. you need to seek out others like yourself as a support group....i was on the other end of this as a deployed soldier. it's very painful, yes, but don't go it alone. contact any chaplains office on your nearest post or base for guidance.
stress can make a person very clingy and needy and the fact that you know he is going to be gone for a while doesnt help either.... voice your felling to him dont keep it inside..
Its normal.
Do give him some space %26amp; time with his palls to drink a beer.
Take comfort that he is close at hand %26amp; not posted over sea's for the moment.
A military relationship is the hardest of any. One thing that you really have to both do is a little give and take. You need to see his desire to sometimes just relax or whatever, you can still be around him however, but just try to cling to him and let him initiate that. On the other hand your fiance needs to see your need for that closeness and not always expect you to let him have what he wants. You really need to share your feelings with him if you already haven't. Establish an understanding for what he needs, and let him know what you need. Even though I am out now, me and my wife went through the same thing, and it even caused us to separate for a time.
Once you both have established what the other needs, then you both need to try at serving each other that way. However, if he is not able to let his guard down and be in that constant ';soldier'; mentality then you need to honestly tell him that it might not work out, or that it is very damaging to you and your feelings. Its tough for military guys especially, part of day to day life is to take the opportunity for down time to really relax and rest.
Hope some of this helps, we've been there though and I know that this is something that everyone says but its so true. If it is meant to be then it will.
HELP! I need advice on how to proceed with a relationship!!?
O my gosh Im so worried and dont kno what to do.
So im boinkin my gf up her noonoo when my saber slips and goes up her pooper. She then empties her bowels into my lap since we were reverse cowgirling it. I immediately threw up all over her and she tried to kiss me which was weird bc we were both now covered in **** vomit and gravy which we had coated ourselves in before sex.
I guess my question is was it weird that she wanted to kiss me after all this?HELP! I need advice on how to proceed with a relationship!!?
call ghostbusters xD
btw your answer to my question was awesome, i definitely gotta try that :DHELP! I need advice on how to proceed with a relationship!!?
kill yourself
So im boinkin my gf up her noonoo when my saber slips and goes up her pooper. She then empties her bowels into my lap since we were reverse cowgirling it. I immediately threw up all over her and she tried to kiss me which was weird bc we were both now covered in **** vomit and gravy which we had coated ourselves in before sex.
I guess my question is was it weird that she wanted to kiss me after all this?HELP! I need advice on how to proceed with a relationship!!?
call ghostbusters xD
btw your answer to my question was awesome, i definitely gotta try that :DHELP! I need advice on how to proceed with a relationship!!?
kill yourself
Is there a chance of a love relationship based on our astroligical charts? Any advice should be helpful.?
I like this guy whom I met not too long ago and I know he likes me because he told me so and we hang out here and there and enjoy our company. I just told him to take it slow so we can get to know each other, be friends and see what happens. Im a female and Pisces Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Pisces Mercury, Aquarius Venus, Libra Mars, Scorpio in Jupiter and Libra in Saturn.Uranus and Neptune in Sagittarius.Libra in Pluto.
He is a Leo Sun, Taurus Moon, Cancer In Mercury, Gemini in Venus, Libra in Mars, Jupiter in Virgo and Saturn also in Virgo.Scorpio in Uranus and Sagittarius Neptune. Libra in Pluto.
I mean we flirt heavily when in each others company but it hasnt gone beyond kissing. Is there a chance for it to go beyond a frienship?Is there a chance of a love relationship based on our astroligical charts? Any advice should be helpful.?
he has gemini venus . . . and in my case is very scary . . . because gemini in venus men . . . just flirt with anyone anytime and there is a risk that he may cheat on you . . . although he has taurus moon . . . means he may dislike change and may actually be loyal . . .but thats the only thing that worries me . . .
but anyways . . . your charts do match pretty well actually
- your mars trines his venus and your venus trines his mars . . . which is good for attraction and may seem the answer to why you have been flirting alot . . . your aquarius venus . . . may actually look past the superficiality in love of him . . . because you similiarily want the same things . . .
i know a gemini in venus guy and he loves flirting with women and has cheated and lied to his gf alot . . . other thatn that his chart looks good!
your mercurys trine eachother and this is great as you are perfect in terms of communication . . . you both are great listeners and appreaciate great listeners . . .
your sun/moon combinations go well as his leo sun goes well wit your sagg moon and his taurus moon goes well with your picses sun. . . this adds even greater understanding . . . buy you need more spiritual stimulation whereas he needs material things and love expressed in material things to feel secure . . . whereas you dont need as much . . .
overall i think it could work out for both of you . . . at times you both may get p*ssed off with eachother concerning trust maybe . . . but i think its a very great union!Is there a chance of a love relationship based on our astroligical charts? Any advice should be helpful.?
You seem to me that you want to know this guy more, like if you're not sure if is gonna work out. You sound unsure about this guy. I recommend you see a psychic.
cvpositivas.com
Q: Is there a chance of a love relationship based on our astroligical charts?
A: NO
He is a Leo Sun, Taurus Moon, Cancer In Mercury, Gemini in Venus, Libra in Mars, Jupiter in Virgo and Saturn also in Virgo.Scorpio in Uranus and Sagittarius Neptune. Libra in Pluto.
I mean we flirt heavily when in each others company but it hasnt gone beyond kissing. Is there a chance for it to go beyond a frienship?Is there a chance of a love relationship based on our astroligical charts? Any advice should be helpful.?
he has gemini venus . . . and in my case is very scary . . . because gemini in venus men . . . just flirt with anyone anytime and there is a risk that he may cheat on you . . . although he has taurus moon . . . means he may dislike change and may actually be loyal . . .but thats the only thing that worries me . . .
but anyways . . . your charts do match pretty well actually
- your mars trines his venus and your venus trines his mars . . . which is good for attraction and may seem the answer to why you have been flirting alot . . . your aquarius venus . . . may actually look past the superficiality in love of him . . . because you similiarily want the same things . . .
i know a gemini in venus guy and he loves flirting with women and has cheated and lied to his gf alot . . . other thatn that his chart looks good!
your mercurys trine eachother and this is great as you are perfect in terms of communication . . . you both are great listeners and appreaciate great listeners . . .
your sun/moon combinations go well as his leo sun goes well wit your sagg moon and his taurus moon goes well with your picses sun. . . this adds even greater understanding . . . buy you need more spiritual stimulation whereas he needs material things and love expressed in material things to feel secure . . . whereas you dont need as much . . .
overall i think it could work out for both of you . . . at times you both may get p*ssed off with eachother concerning trust maybe . . . but i think its a very great union!Is there a chance of a love relationship based on our astroligical charts? Any advice should be helpful.?
You seem to me that you want to know this guy more, like if you're not sure if is gonna work out. You sound unsure about this guy. I recommend you see a psychic.
cvpositivas.com
Q: Is there a chance of a love relationship based on our astroligical charts?
A: NO
Did I do the wrong thing? Bad relationship problems. Long question, but asking for advice. What to do?
My girlfriend and I have been having problems lately. Now the problems consist of lack of communication, constant lying, overspending with a limited budget, and a lack of willingness to attend events or just go out with me. The problems also include marijuana and using sex as a way to solve everything. Now my GF and I have smoked ever since we met each other, the only thing is that I smoke maybe 3-4 times a week on nights in which we won’t be going out or I won’t be doing anything while she smokes whenever she gets a chance. Waking and baking, going to work high, going shopping high, getting high while I’m driving us to the movies and things like that. I have told her many times that she needs to slow down and that she is letting herself become exactly what they show on those drug commercials, but she won’t listen or change. A few times I have been missing money and when I asked her where are my 20 or so dollars she gives me a blank stare and usually says “Oh, I bought us some weed';.Did I do the wrong thing? Bad relationship problems. Long question, but asking for advice. What to do?
No not at all. She has issues and you need to talk about it. You need to sort them out urgently.Did I do the wrong thing? Bad relationship problems. Long question, but asking for advice. What to do?
You already know what you should do: leave her.
She's just bringing you down. You've tried every way possible to get through to her and it's not working. She has to want to help herself, and she doesn't. Find another girl that will respect herself and you.
Sounds like she has got herself adicted and that's what needs to be resolved. It will be hard unless she can admit to it though. Maybe you need to seek medical advice from your doc.
it's time for an intervention
i agree withe the first answer...time to get her some help. if she refuses than you need to leave her. she's using you
it was the right thing to do but you should have had sex before you did it
You did what you should have done, by walking out.
Going to the movies with you counts as going out with you, and telling you she took the money doesn't show lying. Just stealing.
If you really want her off the habit, you need to quit too. Keep all your money with you, make it impossible for her to take. If she can't buy any, and you aren't, she can't get high.
Tell her you don't want to be around her anymore if she is high all the time, and she needs to decide whether she wants you or drugs. She will very likely need to stay off of it forever, and that will mean you will too.
Is there some underlying cause (problems, depression, etc) that is causing her to turn to the drugs more and more? If there is, fix it, or help her fix it.
If nothing works, move. You will either finally have peace, or she will realize you meant what you said, clean up the drugs, and you can try to reattach slowly. Any future with her will probably means staying away from the drugs.
First of all, don't smoke any weed while you read these answers. I suspect that you've been a little too high yourself lately to think with a clear mind.
What you've described is not what I would call a ';girlfriend.'; There are other words, however, that do come to mind such as ';sponge';, ';leech';, ';vamp';, and ';addict.'; If you stop using weed yourself for a month, forbid her from bringing it into your car while driving, and hide your money so well that she cannot find it, then I guarantee that she will be out of your life in a flash. And, you'll be so much better off for it.
Really you're going to have to have her choose between you and the weed (possibly other habits as well) because you can't continue to live like this. There is no physical addiction to weed. PHYSICAL, that doesn't mean there isn't an emotional and mental addiction to it. Obviously your girlfriend has issues she needs to deal with and at the moment she's using weed to cope. People who use weed for this purpose are also the ones more likely to try harder drugs. If she doesn't want to quit then you can either join her for the downward spiral or leave.
You were not wrong at all. You did the right thing. If you really love this girl and cannot live with her drug use - you may have to tell her it's you or the pot. You see...you are a casual user, you obviously don't have an addictive personality, she may!
If she does, you cannot help her unless she is willing to help herself.
If she is not willing to cut back or quit using altogether, you may need to move on in life without her. As hard as that may seem, it would be alot harder to stay. Good luck.
your doing the right thing. you cant spend money that you dont have on weed when you dont even want to smoke it. thats messed up. im sure you love her and im sure that this will be hard but take a break stay away for a little bit and then see if she is still able to but weed once the moneys not there she will slow down,%26lt;hopefully%26gt; if this doesnt work try to get her help thats the only way that i can see things will work out. good luck
If she won't talk to you, than talk to her. She can choose to listen or not, take it seriously or not. If she forgets an important thing you said (and by important i mean you started the sentence by says ';This is important...blah blah';) don't keep repeating yourself. I would say ';It is important to me that you know I do not like how you have been smoking excessively and neglecting me'; If you can't make it work get out, shes not for you. She doesn't sound like she wants the same kind of relationship you do.
This exact same thing is currently happening to me.. except she has been cheating on me with the person she buys her weed off of. she alwys wants to smoke and always uses sex as a way out when im mad. we bolth need to GTFO!!!
You seem like a very smart person and I can see that even though you do smoke, you have your situation under control. (Yes, you can smoke and have it under control...not everyone is an addict). In my opinion, I think you need to give her a choice...either she slows down or stops smoking completely or you need to leave her and find someone that will appreciate you for who and what you are. Good luck sweetie...I know it's not as easy said as done. :)
You have to end it - she is using you for your money and easy access to drugs and sex. And you need to get some counselling for yourself so you don't get into another problem relationship like this one. This is not a healthy relationship - she doesn't respect you or the relationship that the two of you have together.
Obviously she has a problem and the only way to help her is to either tell her to her face that you are not going to put up with the behavior and while you love her you can't take the situation anymore. Tell her that you are willing to work on things if and only if she is willing to get some help. And as much as you may not want to, try going to rehab with her. Do it as a thing for both of you. The fact that she is stealing money from you and lying all the time, I wouldn't give her any chance. But given that she has a problem and really when you're involved with someone, you are supposed to be supportive and help them in their time of need, you can do the above suggestion. If she absolutely refuses to get help, kick her out. You have to be tough and be strong.
You do have a serious problem. First of all if she isn't even willing to talk about the problems you guys are having then you can't continue to have a relationship with her. It is completely one sided because she isn't making any effort to work out the problems. Second, if she is stealing your money to buy drugs then she has an addiction. Normally I would say weed is not addicting, but I mean chemically, emotionally it can be and anyone who has a lot of emotional problems can use weed to escape from life, which is what it sounds like your girlfriend is doing. Using sex to solve problems solves nothing. Sex is great as a makeup from a fight, AFTER you resolve the problem. She is so stoned out of her head al lthe time she can't function in a normal relationship and you have to decide if you want to continue to take care of her and her problems or if you want a real relationship. If you want a real realationship then you need to force her into some reality, stop leaving your money around where she can access it, change your passwords so she can't have access to any monitary anything if she knows them. Stand up to her and say no when she asks for weed or any other drugs. Cut her off. And if that doesn't work..move out. Don't stay living with someone that is making your life miserable and doesn't even want to try and fix it. She has more problems that you are going to be able to fix and she needs to seek help, but if you continue to enable her to continue the behavior she is not going to change anything, because she isn't the one unhappy, you are. I am sorry you are going through this, it totally sucks. Take if from someone who has some experience with this, don't let her ruin your life because she wants to ruin hers.
My boyfriend sounds exactly the same as your girlfriend, and you sound like me... I was going though the same thing for several months, but add alcohol into the mix... One night he got so drunk around his friends and I, he had know clue what was going on... Everything seemed okay for a while after, then a few days later he, out of the blue, starts accusing me of everything under the sun! Just crazy things, it was because he couldn't remeber what went on that night, he still has no clue that I'm devoted to him and had is back the whole night... He ended up dumping me for something I didn't do... He never sees a sober day he's also never clean of weed or pills (sometimes pills like muscle relaxers)... I know what your going though, the worry, the anger, all of it! I'm not sure what to tell you, what I'm doing is just sticking by and making sure he's okay... Because I do love him very much, and I know he needs me more then ever, to just be there... Even though we are having these problems I'm staying by... I hope you can just be there for her!?... I think other then doing this, there's not too much we can do... http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?… Have a look at this link, (copy and paste in browser bar if not clickable) I think weed or any addiction is the same situation... This is a question someone asked a while back... Also, I think you did the right thing, walking out and taking a breather! Well, hope I helped a bit... Just stick in there, they need us... Even if they denie your help! They just need you there!!!
OMG, wow. I'm going through the same situation with my bestfriend of 14 years. All she wants to do is smoke and we drifting from the level we were on together once before. Your girlfriend is out of control. She needs help. I say that because it seems as though she'd be in denial if you told her she had a pblm. The thing is that you smoke also so maybe she wouldn't take you as seriously as she should. What i can think of would be for you to catch her out there. Maybe in the morning or something. Plan a day for you guys to be out ALL day so you know she's sober, and let her have it. Spill everything out on the table. Maybe you have to open up her eyes on what she'll be losing if she doesn't take it easy. Show her that her life with you is more important than a high thats 1. Not healthy and 2. She can come down at anytime, and while she loves getting high, once she does come down there could be a chance that she'll be alone. Its so HARD to open someone's eyes on what weed can do. Especially if she has friends and other people to smoke with, other ppl to laugh and enjoy her high with. She's pbly not gonna really take how you feel to heart...not while she's high anyway. Unless she gets a bad high and realizes how this is really affecting you guys. Point blank i dont think that you did the wrong thing. Sex is done for a numerous amount of reasons, for love, for lust, for fun, but i dont think it should be done for a cop out. She is using her body to try and make things right, and its for the wrong reasons. She's not realizing the true problem and it should mean as much to her as it does to you.
No not at all. She has issues and you need to talk about it. You need to sort them out urgently.Did I do the wrong thing? Bad relationship problems. Long question, but asking for advice. What to do?
You already know what you should do: leave her.
She's just bringing you down. You've tried every way possible to get through to her and it's not working. She has to want to help herself, and she doesn't. Find another girl that will respect herself and you.
Sounds like she has got herself adicted and that's what needs to be resolved. It will be hard unless she can admit to it though. Maybe you need to seek medical advice from your doc.
it's time for an intervention
i agree withe the first answer...time to get her some help. if she refuses than you need to leave her. she's using you
it was the right thing to do but you should have had sex before you did it
You did what you should have done, by walking out.
Going to the movies with you counts as going out with you, and telling you she took the money doesn't show lying. Just stealing.
If you really want her off the habit, you need to quit too. Keep all your money with you, make it impossible for her to take. If she can't buy any, and you aren't, she can't get high.
Tell her you don't want to be around her anymore if she is high all the time, and she needs to decide whether she wants you or drugs. She will very likely need to stay off of it forever, and that will mean you will too.
Is there some underlying cause (problems, depression, etc) that is causing her to turn to the drugs more and more? If there is, fix it, or help her fix it.
If nothing works, move. You will either finally have peace, or she will realize you meant what you said, clean up the drugs, and you can try to reattach slowly. Any future with her will probably means staying away from the drugs.
First of all, don't smoke any weed while you read these answers. I suspect that you've been a little too high yourself lately to think with a clear mind.
What you've described is not what I would call a ';girlfriend.'; There are other words, however, that do come to mind such as ';sponge';, ';leech';, ';vamp';, and ';addict.'; If you stop using weed yourself for a month, forbid her from bringing it into your car while driving, and hide your money so well that she cannot find it, then I guarantee that she will be out of your life in a flash. And, you'll be so much better off for it.
Really you're going to have to have her choose between you and the weed (possibly other habits as well) because you can't continue to live like this. There is no physical addiction to weed. PHYSICAL, that doesn't mean there isn't an emotional and mental addiction to it. Obviously your girlfriend has issues she needs to deal with and at the moment she's using weed to cope. People who use weed for this purpose are also the ones more likely to try harder drugs. If she doesn't want to quit then you can either join her for the downward spiral or leave.
You were not wrong at all. You did the right thing. If you really love this girl and cannot live with her drug use - you may have to tell her it's you or the pot. You see...you are a casual user, you obviously don't have an addictive personality, she may!
If she does, you cannot help her unless she is willing to help herself.
If she is not willing to cut back or quit using altogether, you may need to move on in life without her. As hard as that may seem, it would be alot harder to stay. Good luck.
your doing the right thing. you cant spend money that you dont have on weed when you dont even want to smoke it. thats messed up. im sure you love her and im sure that this will be hard but take a break stay away for a little bit and then see if she is still able to but weed once the moneys not there she will slow down,%26lt;hopefully%26gt; if this doesnt work try to get her help thats the only way that i can see things will work out. good luck
If she won't talk to you, than talk to her. She can choose to listen or not, take it seriously or not. If she forgets an important thing you said (and by important i mean you started the sentence by says ';This is important...blah blah';) don't keep repeating yourself. I would say ';It is important to me that you know I do not like how you have been smoking excessively and neglecting me'; If you can't make it work get out, shes not for you. She doesn't sound like she wants the same kind of relationship you do.
This exact same thing is currently happening to me.. except she has been cheating on me with the person she buys her weed off of. she alwys wants to smoke and always uses sex as a way out when im mad. we bolth need to GTFO!!!
You seem like a very smart person and I can see that even though you do smoke, you have your situation under control. (Yes, you can smoke and have it under control...not everyone is an addict). In my opinion, I think you need to give her a choice...either she slows down or stops smoking completely or you need to leave her and find someone that will appreciate you for who and what you are. Good luck sweetie...I know it's not as easy said as done. :)
You have to end it - she is using you for your money and easy access to drugs and sex. And you need to get some counselling for yourself so you don't get into another problem relationship like this one. This is not a healthy relationship - she doesn't respect you or the relationship that the two of you have together.
Obviously she has a problem and the only way to help her is to either tell her to her face that you are not going to put up with the behavior and while you love her you can't take the situation anymore. Tell her that you are willing to work on things if and only if she is willing to get some help. And as much as you may not want to, try going to rehab with her. Do it as a thing for both of you. The fact that she is stealing money from you and lying all the time, I wouldn't give her any chance. But given that she has a problem and really when you're involved with someone, you are supposed to be supportive and help them in their time of need, you can do the above suggestion. If she absolutely refuses to get help, kick her out. You have to be tough and be strong.
You do have a serious problem. First of all if she isn't even willing to talk about the problems you guys are having then you can't continue to have a relationship with her. It is completely one sided because she isn't making any effort to work out the problems. Second, if she is stealing your money to buy drugs then she has an addiction. Normally I would say weed is not addicting, but I mean chemically, emotionally it can be and anyone who has a lot of emotional problems can use weed to escape from life, which is what it sounds like your girlfriend is doing. Using sex to solve problems solves nothing. Sex is great as a makeup from a fight, AFTER you resolve the problem. She is so stoned out of her head al lthe time she can't function in a normal relationship and you have to decide if you want to continue to take care of her and her problems or if you want a real relationship. If you want a real realationship then you need to force her into some reality, stop leaving your money around where she can access it, change your passwords so she can't have access to any monitary anything if she knows them. Stand up to her and say no when she asks for weed or any other drugs. Cut her off. And if that doesn't work..move out. Don't stay living with someone that is making your life miserable and doesn't even want to try and fix it. She has more problems that you are going to be able to fix and she needs to seek help, but if you continue to enable her to continue the behavior she is not going to change anything, because she isn't the one unhappy, you are. I am sorry you are going through this, it totally sucks. Take if from someone who has some experience with this, don't let her ruin your life because she wants to ruin hers.
My boyfriend sounds exactly the same as your girlfriend, and you sound like me... I was going though the same thing for several months, but add alcohol into the mix... One night he got so drunk around his friends and I, he had know clue what was going on... Everything seemed okay for a while after, then a few days later he, out of the blue, starts accusing me of everything under the sun! Just crazy things, it was because he couldn't remeber what went on that night, he still has no clue that I'm devoted to him and had is back the whole night... He ended up dumping me for something I didn't do... He never sees a sober day he's also never clean of weed or pills (sometimes pills like muscle relaxers)... I know what your going though, the worry, the anger, all of it! I'm not sure what to tell you, what I'm doing is just sticking by and making sure he's okay... Because I do love him very much, and I know he needs me more then ever, to just be there... Even though we are having these problems I'm staying by... I hope you can just be there for her!?... I think other then doing this, there's not too much we can do... http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?… Have a look at this link, (copy and paste in browser bar if not clickable) I think weed or any addiction is the same situation... This is a question someone asked a while back... Also, I think you did the right thing, walking out and taking a breather! Well, hope I helped a bit... Just stick in there, they need us... Even if they denie your help! They just need you there!!!
OMG, wow. I'm going through the same situation with my bestfriend of 14 years. All she wants to do is smoke and we drifting from the level we were on together once before. Your girlfriend is out of control. She needs help. I say that because it seems as though she'd be in denial if you told her she had a pblm. The thing is that you smoke also so maybe she wouldn't take you as seriously as she should. What i can think of would be for you to catch her out there. Maybe in the morning or something. Plan a day for you guys to be out ALL day so you know she's sober, and let her have it. Spill everything out on the table. Maybe you have to open up her eyes on what she'll be losing if she doesn't take it easy. Show her that her life with you is more important than a high thats 1. Not healthy and 2. She can come down at anytime, and while she loves getting high, once she does come down there could be a chance that she'll be alone. Its so HARD to open someone's eyes on what weed can do. Especially if she has friends and other people to smoke with, other ppl to laugh and enjoy her high with. She's pbly not gonna really take how you feel to heart...not while she's high anyway. Unless she gets a bad high and realizes how this is really affecting you guys. Point blank i dont think that you did the wrong thing. Sex is done for a numerous amount of reasons, for love, for lust, for fun, but i dont think it should be done for a cop out. She is using her body to try and make things right, and its for the wrong reasons. She's not realizing the true problem and it should mean as much to her as it does to you.
Advice on my short poem about a relationship?
Okay, so I got a little bored, so I wrote a poem. I guess its about a relationship, but it must be some random person's relationship. lolz, but what do you think about it?
Just Surviving
I longed to have you -
To have you in my heart and my arms,
At the end of a long day.
I wanted to be reminded of,
All the little things I love about you.
Your personality amazes me -
Hypnotizes me.
Your smile leaves me speechless,
Even though I have seen it a dozen times.
Your eyes leave me lost -
Lost in our potential togetherness.
Your small gestures here and there,
Confirm my love for you.
Your whispered words I hang from,
Allowing little space between us.
Everything I love about you,
Isn't here with me tonight.
I am left alone -
Alone with the small fragments of you,
Just surviving.
So, what do you think? All comments and suggestions are welcomed. Thanks %26lt;3Advice on my short poem about a relationship?
i think if you eliminate the whole midsection while elaborating on the last section which seems much more interesting, what are those fragments which you cling to? and how do these fragments embody those general things u describe in the middle paragraph? i think the middle paragraph isn't that special, like i've heard it a million times before, that's why i say elaborate on the last paragraph which has stronger imagery and more potential for good description. its a very specific state which you can delve into, which can better grab the reader emotionally.
Just Surviving
I longed to have you -
To have you in my heart and my arms,
At the end of a long day.
I wanted to be reminded of,
All the little things I love about you.
Your personality amazes me -
Hypnotizes me.
Your smile leaves me speechless,
Even though I have seen it a dozen times.
Your eyes leave me lost -
Lost in our potential togetherness.
Your small gestures here and there,
Confirm my love for you.
Your whispered words I hang from,
Allowing little space between us.
Everything I love about you,
Isn't here with me tonight.
I am left alone -
Alone with the small fragments of you,
Just surviving.
So, what do you think? All comments and suggestions are welcomed. Thanks %26lt;3Advice on my short poem about a relationship?
i think if you eliminate the whole midsection while elaborating on the last section which seems much more interesting, what are those fragments which you cling to? and how do these fragments embody those general things u describe in the middle paragraph? i think the middle paragraph isn't that special, like i've heard it a million times before, that's why i say elaborate on the last paragraph which has stronger imagery and more potential for good description. its a very specific state which you can delve into, which can better grab the reader emotionally.
Advice on College freshman/ High school senior relationship?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and he is the first who said he loved me. He was worried he said it too soon but I assured him it was fine. We've been happy together and I think I've fallen in love with him. He's about to go to college and I'm afraid our relationship won't work out. He'll only be an hour away cuz thats how far his college is. I am a senior in high school still. He keep mentioning how he doesn't want us getting too attatched and me thinking that he's in it for marriage. Honestly I don't even wanna consider that right now. I love him but I don't wanna think that far into the future but it does bother me when he says stuff about us breaking up. He told me if I felt we were growing apart and that it wasn't working while he's in college to tell him and that we'd end it. He keeps saying he loves me but I'm wondering to what extent. I know he wants us to stay friends no matter wat and we each promised. I love him and I don't want to lose him.Advice on College freshman/ High school senior relationship?
You seem like a rational girl. My daughter was in this same situation except she was the one leaving first for college. Even though you and your bf are only 1 year apart, you are at the cusp of two separate stages in life. He is at the beginning of his next stage. What does he need to do to make it work? Let's see what he will be faced with: making new friends, involvement in organizations or student groups, studying a lot, maybe working - he'll be balancing a lot. Will he be able to dive into it freely if he is still connected to his previous stage in life? Maybe. My daughter did not and found herself at the end of her freshman college year with hardly any new friends to start the next year. I wished she would have stayed on campus more weekends instead of coming home to see her boyfriend, but sometimes moms don't know anything, ya' know. And what do you need to do to make your senior year work? You will have prom and planning for college. This will be the most fun of any other years of school. You will be moving out of the house soon so it would be nice to spend some quality time with your family this next year. None of this means that you two have to break up, but it's good to really think about how different your lives will be from last year or from what you're used to. Can you give the freedom he needs? Will you feel left out or jealous? Can he still enjoy your activities and friends when he visits? Some things new for you to think about, I hope. Good luck.Advice on College freshman/ High school senior relationship?
It sounds to me like he is confused. Or he has a commitment problem because he fears the unknown of the future. It sounds like he loves you, but he has the barrier up already that it wont work. Talk to him about it.chap balm
You seem like a rational girl. My daughter was in this same situation except she was the one leaving first for college. Even though you and your bf are only 1 year apart, you are at the cusp of two separate stages in life. He is at the beginning of his next stage. What does he need to do to make it work? Let's see what he will be faced with: making new friends, involvement in organizations or student groups, studying a lot, maybe working - he'll be balancing a lot. Will he be able to dive into it freely if he is still connected to his previous stage in life? Maybe. My daughter did not and found herself at the end of her freshman college year with hardly any new friends to start the next year. I wished she would have stayed on campus more weekends instead of coming home to see her boyfriend, but sometimes moms don't know anything, ya' know. And what do you need to do to make your senior year work? You will have prom and planning for college. This will be the most fun of any other years of school. You will be moving out of the house soon so it would be nice to spend some quality time with your family this next year. None of this means that you two have to break up, but it's good to really think about how different your lives will be from last year or from what you're used to. Can you give the freedom he needs? Will you feel left out or jealous? Can he still enjoy your activities and friends when he visits? Some things new for you to think about, I hope. Good luck.Advice on College freshman/ High school senior relationship?
It sounds to me like he is confused. Or he has a commitment problem because he fears the unknown of the future. It sounds like he loves you, but he has the barrier up already that it wont work. Talk to him about it.
Advice on what to do about my relationship?
Ive been with my boyfriend over 5 years and we fit so well together in the past but as we have grown up weve drifted apart in terms of our beliefs and interests. Our lives are so entwined i coulndt face breaking up with him but i just feel lost around him - hes incredible sweet and a very decent guy but we dont have much to say to eachother other than what weve been up to. we are on completely different wavelengths and he is very resistant about talking over any thing with great depth, he closes down whenever i express emotion - its like being with a robot sometimes! The spark went a long time ago but I dont want to give up on a good thing as I know we worked so well together in the past. i feel frustrated and desperate to be understood, advice would be greatly appreciated, has anyone else had a similar experience to this, and if so what action did you take?
ThanksAdvice on what to do about my relationship?
i dealt with something like this, i was in a relationship for 3 years and 8 months, and things just weren't the same. i tried many times to get them to work out and go back to how they were before, but they never did, i was basically in love with our past, and kept hoping things would go back, but they didn't and probably weren't going to.
i ended up cheating on him by kissing another guy, which i know was wrong and shouldn't have done. so we broke up, and im actually happier now with the guy i am with that i cheated with. but looking back i wish i would have just ended the relationship on my own, knowing things weren't the same anymore. my boyfriend at the time was great, really nice and sweet too, just things weren't the same anymore.
so, you need to make yourself happy, and do what you think you should do, if things aren't the same and haven't been for awhile, they probably won't be, and you're just so use to it all that you don't want to end it.
if you're not happy, you should do what will make you happy.Advice on what to do about my relationship?
If you dont make each other happy then you need out, you may think this is a good thing and i guess to think this your thinking of all the good times, but overall its different, maybe you'd suit better friends.
At first you may feel you want him back and vise versa but really when you get out of a relationship you miss the other person cos they were filling that gap inside of you, or if you do love him then you miss him in that way but you should be happy and in love.
All the best :)
I was in a very lonely marriage so I left. Everyone said we were the perfect couple but the feelings had disappeared so there was no point in staying.
there's no point in staying in a relationship were
neither of u are happy
i say u guys need to go out to the club
hang out with friends develop a good social life
meet new people
Hey, the same thing happened with me and my ex. we started dating young, and dated for a very long time. We grew apart, and became very different people. we were good for eachother at the time but not anymore. People grow and they change. It will be exptremely difficult fo you but i think you need to share these feelings with your boyfriend, and possibly take some time apart. If you do this you may realize you really want to be with that person, or you may realize that there are other men out there that are better suited for where you are in your life right now.
It took me about a year to get over my ex. and once i met someone else, it took me a very long time to get used to being with someone else. every relationship is different. and you cant expect the new guy to be the same as the last
but it will be exciting to be in something new! good luck
ThanksAdvice on what to do about my relationship?
i dealt with something like this, i was in a relationship for 3 years and 8 months, and things just weren't the same. i tried many times to get them to work out and go back to how they were before, but they never did, i was basically in love with our past, and kept hoping things would go back, but they didn't and probably weren't going to.
i ended up cheating on him by kissing another guy, which i know was wrong and shouldn't have done. so we broke up, and im actually happier now with the guy i am with that i cheated with. but looking back i wish i would have just ended the relationship on my own, knowing things weren't the same anymore. my boyfriend at the time was great, really nice and sweet too, just things weren't the same anymore.
so, you need to make yourself happy, and do what you think you should do, if things aren't the same and haven't been for awhile, they probably won't be, and you're just so use to it all that you don't want to end it.
if you're not happy, you should do what will make you happy.Advice on what to do about my relationship?
If you dont make each other happy then you need out, you may think this is a good thing and i guess to think this your thinking of all the good times, but overall its different, maybe you'd suit better friends.
At first you may feel you want him back and vise versa but really when you get out of a relationship you miss the other person cos they were filling that gap inside of you, or if you do love him then you miss him in that way but you should be happy and in love.
All the best :)
I was in a very lonely marriage so I left. Everyone said we were the perfect couple but the feelings had disappeared so there was no point in staying.
there's no point in staying in a relationship were
neither of u are happy
i say u guys need to go out to the club
hang out with friends develop a good social life
meet new people
Hey, the same thing happened with me and my ex. we started dating young, and dated for a very long time. We grew apart, and became very different people. we were good for eachother at the time but not anymore. People grow and they change. It will be exptremely difficult fo you but i think you need to share these feelings with your boyfriend, and possibly take some time apart. If you do this you may realize you really want to be with that person, or you may realize that there are other men out there that are better suited for where you are in your life right now.
It took me about a year to get over my ex. and once i met someone else, it took me a very long time to get used to being with someone else. every relationship is different. and you cant expect the new guy to be the same as the last
but it will be exciting to be in something new! good luck
Advice on whether i should end our relationship?
me and him have known each other as casual friends for 2 years now but we've only been dating 4 months. we're both in our 20's. We match really well, he's basically perfect for me. we have the same goals and ideals and hes super sweet and kind...
the problem is i dont feel he loves me enough.
he picks spending time with his friends over me, if i cancel plans it seems he doesnt really care even though we can only see each other 2x a week,tells his friends his problems instead of me, doesnt want to meet my parents or best friends,
i feel like he may not want to let go of his single life and i feel very unimportant in his life
and some people may think im asking too much of him but i honestly do give him 100% of everything i have. i want a serious relationship and am looking for marriage.
advice please, and be as honest and helpful as you can be. thank youAdvice on whether i should end our relationship?
i don't know how he is. But maybe he's afarid to meet your friends and not get apporval. in which case he needs to not care. or maybe he just wants to take things SUPER slow. it's only been 4 months and you said you don't see each other to often, so maybe he does like hangin out in the single life but possibly doens't know how to transition his life where the two can meet. But if your looking to settle down soon, maybe you should try finding someone whose headed down your same path. but the best advice i can offer is talk to him
the problem is i dont feel he loves me enough.
he picks spending time with his friends over me, if i cancel plans it seems he doesnt really care even though we can only see each other 2x a week,tells his friends his problems instead of me, doesnt want to meet my parents or best friends,
i feel like he may not want to let go of his single life and i feel very unimportant in his life
and some people may think im asking too much of him but i honestly do give him 100% of everything i have. i want a serious relationship and am looking for marriage.
advice please, and be as honest and helpful as you can be. thank youAdvice on whether i should end our relationship?
i don't know how he is. But maybe he's afarid to meet your friends and not get apporval. in which case he needs to not care. or maybe he just wants to take things SUPER slow. it's only been 4 months and you said you don't see each other to often, so maybe he does like hangin out in the single life but possibly doens't know how to transition his life where the two can meet. But if your looking to settle down soon, maybe you should try finding someone whose headed down your same path. but the best advice i can offer is talk to him
Advice on how to cope in a relationship having mixed libidos?
I'm 19 years old and so is my girlfriend. We seldom argue about anything but a few major topics, and one that constantly comes up again and again is sex.
I have a high sex drive (anywhere from once a day to 3 or 4 times a day), and she has a much lower sex drive (at least once a week it seems).
Now I know there are a lot of factors that contribute to this. But of the very few major arguments we have with each other, this seems to take the cake now. It's driving me nuts (no pun intended), and I'm sure she's annoyed as all hell over it.
If I could, I would **LOVE** to lower my libido and not have it affect my relationship. Or, if it were a possibility, find a way for her to enjoy it more and want it. If anything, I just really want to find some form of sensible advice that can help me find out what to do rather than learn to be lonely.
I'm so hurt over this and I feel like I'm unwanted and unattractive to her. I feel empty and depressed by it all. I feel so petty and low bothering her about sex. I don't know what to do.
We've talked and talked about this. She has a bad view of sex from her negative view of the ';typical'; guy wanting sex just as a physical act and not an emotional act. I've told her I equate it with a deep sense of love and belonging, and even with knowing that she seems to not budge on her view. I've tried to find masturbation as a viable option, but it seems to not have the same meaning at all for me and I dislike it and she also feels threatened and as though I don't love her because I do it. I never feel comfortable around her when we do have sex, because what usually happens by the time I start to feel comfortable is that she achieves orgasm and I get left hanging there keeping my mouth shut so she doesn't feel bad.
...I'm just sick of it. Someone please help me...if you need more information I can supply it, but please please please help. I don't even know to turn to with this and I feel alienated from my girlfriend about it. Thanks in advance!Advice on how to cope in a relationship having mixed libidos?
I'm married with the same situation, except that I more resemble you and my husband has the lower sex drive. I can understand how you feel! You are not alone or wrong for thinking and feeling the way that you do.
I can't offer you much advice, apart from both of you reading For Men Only (for you) and For Women Only (for her) by Jeff %26amp; Shaunti Feldhahn. They do a good job of explaining all the little ins and outs of men and women's brains... things you wouldn't otherwise even think of! I think it would help both of you to go through those books together.
If nothing changes though, and there's no promise that it will - you can't lower your sex drive and she most likely can't increase hers quite to what yours is - then please don't marry her. You will just end up frustrated, she'll end up frustrated that she just can't give you everything you need, and it won't end well.
Good luck!Advice on how to cope in a relationship having mixed libidos?
Get a second girlfriend to satisfy your drive. Otherwise you will be miserable. You can say what you want but it is always there.
for her why not do the little sweet nothings that will make her want u. for u why not give yourself the thrill of the chase.
wow, you sound very mature for your age and i have to applaud you for that!!!! she is very lucky to have a man like you, i very rarely think that let alone say it... that being said... she should go to a doctor and see that all her hormone levels are correct and don't need to be adjusted... sounds like she had some really bad experiences and is taking it out on you... id say to prove to her that its about love try to be intimate without sex... just go straight to the cuddling and kissing... try being more romantic, and try to warm her up a bit more... id say tease her by doing the things that you know she likes.. or try to hold out and see how long it takes her to come to you.. or pretend that it doesn't bother you anymore and see it that helps, maybe if she thinks that your not like every other guy then shes more likely to be receptive... id say if you've tired all of that then seek some counseling... if nothing still then you have to decide if this sex problem is going to affect the way you feel for her. evaluate how important it really is to you, and ask your self this, can you go on like this forever? i really hope it works out for you...
That's just the way it goes. Enjoy once a week while it lasts!
If Josh's Muffin is going to plug a book, let me recommend one:
';The Red Queen, Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature';, by Matt Ridley
amazing book!
She may need to go to the doctor. I went to the doctor and found out why my libido was so different than my man's. We fixed it and now its all good.
Another thing, you may need to compromise and understand she might be too tired sometimes.Maybe ask her if two times a day would work for her... Oh yeah...Dont just jump on her either. You gotta sometimes romance her and turn her on too a lot of men forget this and you have remember we dont turn on as fast as you men do.
Is she taking birth control pills? They kill libido. If so, then, she should get off of them, and that might solve your problem, and you can use condoms instead.
I have a high sex drive (anywhere from once a day to 3 or 4 times a day), and she has a much lower sex drive (at least once a week it seems).
Now I know there are a lot of factors that contribute to this. But of the very few major arguments we have with each other, this seems to take the cake now. It's driving me nuts (no pun intended), and I'm sure she's annoyed as all hell over it.
If I could, I would **LOVE** to lower my libido and not have it affect my relationship. Or, if it were a possibility, find a way for her to enjoy it more and want it. If anything, I just really want to find some form of sensible advice that can help me find out what to do rather than learn to be lonely.
I'm so hurt over this and I feel like I'm unwanted and unattractive to her. I feel empty and depressed by it all. I feel so petty and low bothering her about sex. I don't know what to do.
We've talked and talked about this. She has a bad view of sex from her negative view of the ';typical'; guy wanting sex just as a physical act and not an emotional act. I've told her I equate it with a deep sense of love and belonging, and even with knowing that she seems to not budge on her view. I've tried to find masturbation as a viable option, but it seems to not have the same meaning at all for me and I dislike it and she also feels threatened and as though I don't love her because I do it. I never feel comfortable around her when we do have sex, because what usually happens by the time I start to feel comfortable is that she achieves orgasm and I get left hanging there keeping my mouth shut so she doesn't feel bad.
...I'm just sick of it. Someone please help me...if you need more information I can supply it, but please please please help. I don't even know to turn to with this and I feel alienated from my girlfriend about it. Thanks in advance!Advice on how to cope in a relationship having mixed libidos?
I'm married with the same situation, except that I more resemble you and my husband has the lower sex drive. I can understand how you feel! You are not alone or wrong for thinking and feeling the way that you do.
I can't offer you much advice, apart from both of you reading For Men Only (for you) and For Women Only (for her) by Jeff %26amp; Shaunti Feldhahn. They do a good job of explaining all the little ins and outs of men and women's brains... things you wouldn't otherwise even think of! I think it would help both of you to go through those books together.
If nothing changes though, and there's no promise that it will - you can't lower your sex drive and she most likely can't increase hers quite to what yours is - then please don't marry her. You will just end up frustrated, she'll end up frustrated that she just can't give you everything you need, and it won't end well.
Good luck!Advice on how to cope in a relationship having mixed libidos?
Get a second girlfriend to satisfy your drive. Otherwise you will be miserable. You can say what you want but it is always there.
for her why not do the little sweet nothings that will make her want u. for u why not give yourself the thrill of the chase.
wow, you sound very mature for your age and i have to applaud you for that!!!! she is very lucky to have a man like you, i very rarely think that let alone say it... that being said... she should go to a doctor and see that all her hormone levels are correct and don't need to be adjusted... sounds like she had some really bad experiences and is taking it out on you... id say to prove to her that its about love try to be intimate without sex... just go straight to the cuddling and kissing... try being more romantic, and try to warm her up a bit more... id say tease her by doing the things that you know she likes.. or try to hold out and see how long it takes her to come to you.. or pretend that it doesn't bother you anymore and see it that helps, maybe if she thinks that your not like every other guy then shes more likely to be receptive... id say if you've tired all of that then seek some counseling... if nothing still then you have to decide if this sex problem is going to affect the way you feel for her. evaluate how important it really is to you, and ask your self this, can you go on like this forever? i really hope it works out for you...
That's just the way it goes. Enjoy once a week while it lasts!
If Josh's Muffin is going to plug a book, let me recommend one:
';The Red Queen, Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature';, by Matt Ridley
amazing book!
She may need to go to the doctor. I went to the doctor and found out why my libido was so different than my man's. We fixed it and now its all good.
Another thing, you may need to compromise and understand she might be too tired sometimes.Maybe ask her if two times a day would work for her... Oh yeah...Dont just jump on her either. You gotta sometimes romance her and turn her on too a lot of men forget this and you have remember we dont turn on as fast as you men do.
Is she taking birth control pills? They kill libido. If so, then, she should get off of them, and that might solve your problem, and you can use condoms instead.
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