The relationship is going downhill.. Need some good advice.?

So here's the scoop:





I'm dating an older guy, 6 years older to be exact. He acts like a child. I'm 19, he's 25. He whines when I'm not paying attention to him, and paws at me like a toddler looking for attention. I've told him numerous times that this really grinds on my nerves, and that I thing he needs to learn to grow up and be just a little less attached, and it just doesn't go through his head. I'm stressed all the time now. I don't want to come home because I know that a sensitive smothering whinebag is waiting for me on the couch. It doesn't even seem like he cares so much anymore... More that he is glued to me regardless.





I don't know what to do.





I know I could probably resolve this with him if he was willing to listen... But how do I get him to listen and actually try to salvage our 1 year relationship before it gets flushed???





Additional Complication:





I own my house, recently bought it with him but he is not on the mortgage or the deed. All of the things in the house are split 50/50 as to whose they are. His parents love me and are also very attached. We also have numerous animals that we got together. So, if you're going to tell me to break up with him, ultimately, then please give me some insight on how I can accomplish this in the least messy was possible.The relationship is going downhill.. Need some good advice.?
To answer the second part of your question first, it's your house and you can ask him to leave any time you like. If he doesn't, then give him a date by which he needs to be gone (reasonableness is the key here) and if he hasn't left then change the locks while he's out and dump his stuff on the driveway or hire a van-and-man to take it all round to his Mum's and then it's her problem.





Getting a tenant in to your spare room could help with the mortgage if money is an issue, and it will also help stop him from trying to come back and causing trouble as he won't want to do that in front of a third party (you hope!).





Let him take half the furniture and half the animals. Hell, let him take the whole lot if he likes. It's worth it in order to be able to draw a line under it and start again. Chalk your financial losses up to experience and next time make sure he buys the disposable things like food and you buy the concrete things like furniture - that way when you split up you get everything!





Does he work? If he's reliant on you for everything this should be ringing some serious warning bells. If it doesn't seem like he cares about you then what else is he getting - free bed and board with sex on tap and no demands? At his age, if he was still living at home and not paying for his keep it would be bad enough. To be doing the same thing with a girl suggests that the girl is being taken for a fool. If he isn't a man in his mid-twenties, when will he become one? I suspect the answer is ';when he has no choice';. He won't do it by himself, because I expect the way things are suit him just fine so there's no incentive.





At your age, you are doing very well to be supporting yourself, you shouldn't have to look after someone else as well. This holds true whether we are talking about finances, emotions or life skills. It sounds like rather than helping you grow and develop and discover yourself as an adult, he is nothing but a burden and a ball and chain around your ankle. This means he isn't going to be there for you when you need him, because he doesn't know how - it's always about what he needs, not anyone else.





His mother already knows what he's like. Parents aren't blind. She may not thank you for making him her problem all over again when she thought she was past all that, but deep down she knows his bad points just as well as you do. Accept that his family may (outwardly) blame it all on you and never have anything more to do with you. That's just the way it is - he's their son, you're no relation.





Do you want this guy as a husband and a father to your one-day children? Do you think he'd be up to the job? If the answer is ';no';, then you're going to have to put an end to this sooner or later and it ain't gonna get any easier the longer you leave it. Whatever his faults, it doesn't sound like he's about to get up and leave you any time soon - so it's down to you to point out that this isn't working.





If you do really fancy him and love him and can see yourself growing old together if only things were just a little different, then it may be worth one more chance for him to shape up. Sometimes people have to be told straight out that what they're doing isn't acceptable before they ';get it';. Have one serious ';sit down, we need to talk'; conversation with him where you list out exactly what needs to change in order for you to believe that this is worth carrying on with. Then if he doesn't change... well, you gave him the alternatives and he made his choice.The relationship is going downhill.. Need some good advice.?
If this relationship is starting off like you describe ..... you better quit while you're ahead. He's old enough to know better. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Communication seems to be the problem. Since his parents love you, ask them to help you reach out to him. They probably know some tactics that help you get through to him.
You're only a year into it and already you can't stand the guy and his quirks and his neediness. Cut your losses. You can't very well stay with someone just because their parents adore you. It seems to me the longer you wait, you're just drawing out the misery.
Go to counseling as so as you can.