Advice on how to cope in a relationship having mixed libidos?

I'm 19 years old and so is my girlfriend. We seldom argue about anything but a few major topics, and one that constantly comes up again and again is sex.





I have a high sex drive (anywhere from once a day to 3 or 4 times a day), and she has a much lower sex drive (at least once a week it seems).





Now I know there are a lot of factors that contribute to this. But of the very few major arguments we have with each other, this seems to take the cake now. It's driving me nuts (no pun intended), and I'm sure she's annoyed as all hell over it.





If I could, I would **LOVE** to lower my libido and not have it affect my relationship. Or, if it were a possibility, find a way for her to enjoy it more and want it. If anything, I just really want to find some form of sensible advice that can help me find out what to do rather than learn to be lonely.





I'm so hurt over this and I feel like I'm unwanted and unattractive to her. I feel empty and depressed by it all. I feel so petty and low bothering her about sex. I don't know what to do.





We've talked and talked about this. She has a bad view of sex from her negative view of the ';typical'; guy wanting sex just as a physical act and not an emotional act. I've told her I equate it with a deep sense of love and belonging, and even with knowing that she seems to not budge on her view. I've tried to find masturbation as a viable option, but it seems to not have the same meaning at all for me and I dislike it and she also feels threatened and as though I don't love her because I do it. I never feel comfortable around her when we do have sex, because what usually happens by the time I start to feel comfortable is that she achieves orgasm and I get left hanging there keeping my mouth shut so she doesn't feel bad.





...I'm just sick of it. Someone please help me...if you need more information I can supply it, but please please please help. I don't even know to turn to with this and I feel alienated from my girlfriend about it. Thanks in advance!Advice on how to cope in a relationship having mixed libidos?
I'm married with the same situation, except that I more resemble you and my husband has the lower sex drive. I can understand how you feel! You are not alone or wrong for thinking and feeling the way that you do.





I can't offer you much advice, apart from both of you reading For Men Only (for you) and For Women Only (for her) by Jeff %26amp; Shaunti Feldhahn. They do a good job of explaining all the little ins and outs of men and women's brains... things you wouldn't otherwise even think of! I think it would help both of you to go through those books together.





If nothing changes though, and there's no promise that it will - you can't lower your sex drive and she most likely can't increase hers quite to what yours is - then please don't marry her. You will just end up frustrated, she'll end up frustrated that she just can't give you everything you need, and it won't end well.





Good luck!Advice on how to cope in a relationship having mixed libidos?
Get a second girlfriend to satisfy your drive. Otherwise you will be miserable. You can say what you want but it is always there.
for her why not do the little sweet nothings that will make her want u. for u why not give yourself the thrill of the chase.
wow, you sound very mature for your age and i have to applaud you for that!!!! she is very lucky to have a man like you, i very rarely think that let alone say it... that being said... she should go to a doctor and see that all her hormone levels are correct and don't need to be adjusted... sounds like she had some really bad experiences and is taking it out on you... id say to prove to her that its about love try to be intimate without sex... just go straight to the cuddling and kissing... try being more romantic, and try to warm her up a bit more... id say tease her by doing the things that you know she likes.. or try to hold out and see how long it takes her to come to you.. or pretend that it doesn't bother you anymore and see it that helps, maybe if she thinks that your not like every other guy then shes more likely to be receptive... id say if you've tired all of that then seek some counseling... if nothing still then you have to decide if this sex problem is going to affect the way you feel for her. evaluate how important it really is to you, and ask your self this, can you go on like this forever? i really hope it works out for you...
That's just the way it goes. Enjoy once a week while it lasts!





If Josh's Muffin is going to plug a book, let me recommend one:


';The Red Queen, Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature';, by Matt Ridley





amazing book!
She may need to go to the doctor. I went to the doctor and found out why my libido was so different than my man's. We fixed it and now its all good.


Another thing, you may need to compromise and understand she might be too tired sometimes.Maybe ask her if two times a day would work for her... Oh yeah...Dont just jump on her either. You gotta sometimes romance her and turn her on too a lot of men forget this and you have remember we dont turn on as fast as you men do.
Is she taking birth control pills? They kill libido. If so, then, she should get off of them, and that might solve your problem, and you can use condoms instead.