Seniors...your advice on relationships please?

In a marriage...what do you do when BOTH people want to make major decisions and BOTH people feel they are right? Please dont tell me that the woman should do as her husband says...I wont listen to that....but how cam my husband and I come to a mutual agreement? I say we are going to have to compromise but he wont....and I wont budge...it's a very big choice....how can we agree?Seniors...your advice on relationships please?
It doesn't sound like this is about the issue at hand but about a power struggle between the two of you.


Is this the way you two started out or was there a time in the beginning when you did a lot of give and take?


You are right, you two are going to have to compromise but saying is one thing and doing is another and neither wants to at this time.


Some how this became about who is worth more $wise and not about the marriage and the the children.


What is the purpose of this marriage? Is it every man, woman and child for themselves? Who is feeling powerless and why?


You guys have moved far past the 'me' thing and you two have children and this is all about them ..not the two of you any more.


You both need to get your priorities straight. Right now you both have put the children on the back burner and forgot what you guys are together for. Come to the understanding that some things are not an option.


You need a third party that can help guide the two of you back to your goals or help you to have some if you don't.


Who earns what should not be an issue. It should go into one pot and who needs it most should use it. It's called being a team and a family.Seniors...your advice on relationships please?
If your husband needs to feel that he is making the decisions, let him. In my family, we talk about big decisions and reach an agreement,most of the time. But there are times when there is a decision that is going to need to be made and I will start early with little comments that are intended to plant an idea in his thoughts. Usually, by the time we need to make the decision, he thinks my ideas were his and the whole process is so much easier. You do have to start early and casually make the comments though. And don't forget to act proud of the idea he ';has';.
Hi Daisy





When you are not ready to listen to your husband then how can I expect you to listen to me?


Have you played the game of chess? to win sometimes you have to move back.


The tree that bears no fruits is erect. But the tree that bears fruits is pulled down by the weight of fruits


Think once again with a cool head Is it really going to make a big difference if you go by his decision?


If yes then the decision is yours tell him you want to split because it is better option than living a stressful life
There should always be compromise between a man and his wife, especially when the issue involves a matter that is big or really meaningful. Marriage should be give and take. If it's anything less than that, then it likely isn't gonna work for too long.





And btw, ' Dragon ' wasn't completely wrong in the answer he gave. You SHOULD listen to your husband, but what he forgot to tell you was, your husband should ALSO listen to you. I feel sorry for ' Dragon's ' wife if he is indeed married...
In relationships I find it best to choose your battles. If it's something trivial, let him ';win';. Keep in mind that when one person is winning the relationship is losing. Marriage is a team sport. Decisions need to be discussed. I know it is very difficult. My guy is in his first full time relationship at age 57. After doing as he pleased for that long, it has been a process for him to think about negotiating.
Assuming you don't have a mutual source to act as arbitrator (trusted friend/family member/clergyman) and you've exhausted all attempts to resolve the issue between you because neither could win an agreement, you must agree to disagree. Toss a coin to determine who makes the first decision and alternate that position w/ ea. subsequent issue.
I think you both should talk %26amp; talk %26amp; talk. You must finally choose that way that you both like.


Listen to me: Don't do what he says, if you do it one time, he will expect it Always. You are both HUMANs and have the same rights in yous life (even if one of two earns more or is unemployed.


Good luck and be strong and remember how great is LOVE
Both of you will have to learn to step back and say to yourselves';is it more important for me to be right and get my way, or is it more important for the marriage to work?'; And yes, both of you are gonna have to ';cave'; at one time or another.
When it comes to major decisions both people should come to a mutual agreement as to what to do. Marriage is a partnership. The old ';Man is the head of the house'; mentality is pure CRAP. Don't let him bully you into making a decision that you are not happy with.
It's not WHAT you're disagreeing on that's the issue. You two are going to have to come to an agreement that the marriage is a partnership or it won't work.





And you must do it when you're not angry.