I NEED ADVICE!! i have a difficult question about my current relationship..

my girlfriend and i just celebrated our 9 month anniversary yesterday and today, being sunday, she asked me if i wanted to go to church with her. now ive accompanied her to church twice before but when it comes time for me to invite her to my church she blatantly says that she has no interest in going to my church and that she doesnt want to go, she has nothing to learn from us and that she's happy where shes at.. she also says that she will never join me to my church and that hurts my feelings because why cant i be shown the same courtesy of being fair to one another.. why cant she show interest or be fair about the situation.. so she gets her feelings hurt because she gets the notion that i dont want to be there. our beliefs are similar but carried out differently and i happen to be happy where im at.. so we are stuck in a difficult situation here. she says that in order to have a successful relationship with someone and if she wants to start a life with that person then she needs to have her significant other with her participating at church.. its not something she wants, its something she ';NEEDS';.. now dont get me wrong shes not rude to me and isnt mean.. i just take her opinions as honest communication.. so we love eachother deeply and cant seem to function without eachother.. she has helped me so much and i have helped her as well but when this subject comes up we just keep puting it off and off.. i fear that this may cause the demise of our relationship.. what do i do? she says that she would never want me to quit my faith for her yet its the only option she gives me in reality.. she broke up with me once before on this premise but we got back together because her step-mother told he, ';you'd be surprised to see what you can learn about people so different from you.'; and the rest is history.. 9 months now and she doesnt want to give me up just yet but at the same time she tells me that she will only be truly happy with her singificant other with her at church.. i dont know what to do.. and there is another guy they call Q who was her ex 2 years ago and he still obsesses over her and calls her.. he is more than willing to attend church with her and still tells her that he loves her etc etc.. it really bothers me because i fear that if we do break up she will get back with him and do her thing with him.. and he will support her like i couldnt.. i just want her to be happy and that is my main goal to make her happy.. i love her so much and this question is not to speak badly of her.. i just need advice or somthing.. i realy have no clue on what to do.. I NEED ADVICE!! i have a difficult question about my current relationship..
looks like you just better go to her church I NEED ADVICE!! i have a difficult question about my current relationship..
Hold onto your head there, buddy ; )


You hit the nail on the head there in your first 3 sentences. She wants you to come to church with her, but not vice versa. There's the problem.





I'm getting the feeling that you are both in two different denominations of religion, and this can get tricky in a relationship. The scary part is this: In my opinion, she's trying to get you to gain interest in her church because, in order for you to be her boyfriend (in her mind), you have to believe in the same church as she does. Basically, she's subtly trying to convert you. She has no interest in keeping her mind open and checking out your church, but she expects you to have an open mind and to check out her church. What does that say about her?





If you really love this girl, and keeping up a certain set of values and rules in your religion is not exactly that important, then go for it. But know that she will never change her mind if, down the road, you want to go back to where you were and you want to introduce her to YOUR community.
You are really in a tight spot, I really think that you might be in a no win situation. It seems like she will only truly be happy with someone of her own faith. You need to make a hard decision, whether you would be happy joining her faith so she will be happy, or leaving her and sticking to your own religion. Relationships can work even if couples go to different church and are willing to meet each other half way, like visit each others churchs. I am a secretary in a church and I've seen happy couples that do that and make it work. But it seems like your girlfriend isn't willing to do that... It might be all or nothing with her, so you might have to choose where you'd be happiest. Good luck!
Well, first thing first:


emotionally, you need calm down a bit and not to get yourself so entangled by this situation. Remember, whatever it is with this church issue, you need a clearer head to handle it as it goes on( I know, it's easy for me to say, right?).





From what you described of her, she doesn't sound like she's someone with an open-minded attitude(at least when it comes to church going). Even though you said that she is not rude or mean about it, it sounds like she is not being mature nor fair about the issue. And clearly, her behavior towards this whole thing has bothered you a great deal. From what you wrote, I sensed that this is not something you could just look the other way and be Ok about it.





On this site, no one could or should tell you what to do about your relationship with your girlfriend. But there are some points that I think are extremely important for you to keep in mind:





1.Do you really know her as much as you want to think you do?


after all, you have only been together for less than a year(and trust me, I don't care how good the sex is, you hardly know anything about a person with that short amount of time)





2. Would you really be able to swallow this thing if she just wouldn't budge?( I found it rather ridiculous on her part that she wouldn't be ';truly happy'; if her spouse won't go to her church';) You mentioned that your main goal is to make her happy but if you are not going to be happy abou this whole church issue, I don't see how that's going to benefit your relationship.





3. Is it more important for you to be with a girlfriend or is it more important for you to be true to yourself?





4. Are you struggling with this so much because you really don't want to ';lose'; to this ';ex'; boyfriend of hers who doesn't sound much like a man?





I know I am getting too long, but kid, don't forget that the world is so big, there are so many other women that would make ';you'; happier.