My parents work a lot and through school of course I never wanted much to do with them. I never really feel like they care about me. They give me whatever I need and always make sure I'm taken care of but as far as having a real relationship with me I never felt like we've been close. As I've gotten older we get along better. I'm in college now and I thought our relationship would get better when I went away. Nothing changed and now I commute. I want to have a real relationship with them but I feel like there is such a barrier. I'm a little bitter also ... I know my mom smoked with me while she was pregnant, and my whole life since then, in the car, house, anywhere. I hate it and I always thought if she really cares why would she do this? I've always told her how I felt, but it doesn't matter to her. My dad is a worry wart and if he thought something was wrong health wise he was on it. But anything personal that was going on he wanted no part of. If I wanted to do something on the weekend I had to ask mom, dad wouldn't answer. I felt like he never knew much about me growing up. I watch movies and see the whole daddy's girl act and always wanted it, but all my dad does is get frustrated with me and interrupt me and make fun of me when I try and have a conversation. Now that I'm older I speak my mind a little bit more and tell them I don't feel like they care about me and they bring up money and thats all I ever want from them. I think thats their easy way out, they think if I get money out of them then I'm content. If they only knew that money doesn't matter to me. Another thing that really bothered me is this summer my dad's mom died. We were all very close with her. She was pretty much my mom's mom too and I was very close with her. We have a larger family and everyone came home and the funeral was large. My dad couldn't seem to grieve and distanced himself from everyone. My mom and I were really hurting too, but that didn't matter to him. He was very rude to my mom through this which upset her and the whole time they didn't check to see how I was doing. I don't think I got a hug or anything at any of the services. They didn't even sit by me at the funeral. I was very upset with this cause I am their child and sometimes I think they forget that. What can I do to try and connect with them, or actually get through to them. Am I just being selfish and wanting to be the center of attention?Any advice on relationships with parents?
No, you have the right to feel this way.
If you want to improve your relationship with your parents, tell them about it straight forward. Don't try to do stupid things to get their attention, just have a conversation with them. Maybe you could plan to all go on a cruise or spend some quality time together at the movies.Any advice on relationships with parents?
WOW..
I think they didnt know how to raise a child....Dad probabally had the same kind of stand back relationship with his dad if any at all.
I suggest you write them a letter - or copy this and give it to them since you have tried verbally to be close and have not response or a bad one. I had difficult parents too and felt the sme way as you. My parents are from another country and having a close relationship with is was not a priority...bills and everything else was.
To this day it is almost impossible to have a normal conversation with mom- dad died yrs ago.
but you will have to accept them for who they are and realise they wont change- much. It is up to you to raise your son someday with all the love and support that you can give and do it for him.Break this pattern....I send you a hug for the loss of your grandma. It is sad to be ignored but at a funeral it is customary for the fmily to sit together and be consoled by hte attendees through hugs and handshakes.
Dad just cant show his emotions and maybe he was brought up believing he was weak if he did. I suggest you just ask him plain and simple ..why cant you ever show some compassion towards me ?
Be brutally Blunt with your questions and Blunt with your answers
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