Did I do the wrong thing? Bad relationship problems. Long question, but asking for advice. What to do?

My girlfriend and I have been having problems lately. Now the problems consist of lack of communication, constant lying, overspending with a limited budget, and a lack of willingness to attend events or just go out with me. The problems also include marijuana and using sex as a way to solve everything. Now my GF and I have smoked ever since we met each other, the only thing is that I smoke maybe 3-4 times a week on nights in which we won’t be going out or I won’t be doing anything while she smokes whenever she gets a chance. Waking and baking, going to work high, going shopping high, getting high while I’m driving us to the movies and things like that. I have told her many times that she needs to slow down and that she is letting herself become exactly what they show on those drug commercials, but she won’t listen or change. A few times I have been missing money and when I asked her where are my 20 or so dollars she gives me a blank stare and usually says “Oh, I bought us some weed';.Did I do the wrong thing? Bad relationship problems. Long question, but asking for advice. What to do?
No not at all. She has issues and you need to talk about it. You need to sort them out urgently.Did I do the wrong thing? Bad relationship problems. Long question, but asking for advice. What to do?
You already know what you should do: leave her.








She's just bringing you down. You've tried every way possible to get through to her and it's not working. She has to want to help herself, and she doesn't. Find another girl that will respect herself and you.
Sounds like she has got herself adicted and that's what needs to be resolved. It will be hard unless she can admit to it though. Maybe you need to seek medical advice from your doc.
it's time for an intervention
i agree withe the first answer...time to get her some help. if she refuses than you need to leave her. she's using you
it was the right thing to do but you should have had sex before you did it
You did what you should have done, by walking out.





Going to the movies with you counts as going out with you, and telling you she took the money doesn't show lying. Just stealing.





If you really want her off the habit, you need to quit too. Keep all your money with you, make it impossible for her to take. If she can't buy any, and you aren't, she can't get high.





Tell her you don't want to be around her anymore if she is high all the time, and she needs to decide whether she wants you or drugs. She will very likely need to stay off of it forever, and that will mean you will too.





Is there some underlying cause (problems, depression, etc) that is causing her to turn to the drugs more and more? If there is, fix it, or help her fix it.





If nothing works, move. You will either finally have peace, or she will realize you meant what you said, clean up the drugs, and you can try to reattach slowly. Any future with her will probably means staying away from the drugs.
First of all, don't smoke any weed while you read these answers. I suspect that you've been a little too high yourself lately to think with a clear mind.





What you've described is not what I would call a ';girlfriend.'; There are other words, however, that do come to mind such as ';sponge';, ';leech';, ';vamp';, and ';addict.'; If you stop using weed yourself for a month, forbid her from bringing it into your car while driving, and hide your money so well that she cannot find it, then I guarantee that she will be out of your life in a flash. And, you'll be so much better off for it.
Really you're going to have to have her choose between you and the weed (possibly other habits as well) because you can't continue to live like this. There is no physical addiction to weed. PHYSICAL, that doesn't mean there isn't an emotional and mental addiction to it. Obviously your girlfriend has issues she needs to deal with and at the moment she's using weed to cope. People who use weed for this purpose are also the ones more likely to try harder drugs. If she doesn't want to quit then you can either join her for the downward spiral or leave.
You were not wrong at all. You did the right thing. If you really love this girl and cannot live with her drug use - you may have to tell her it's you or the pot. You see...you are a casual user, you obviously don't have an addictive personality, she may!


If she does, you cannot help her unless she is willing to help herself.


If she is not willing to cut back or quit using altogether, you may need to move on in life without her. As hard as that may seem, it would be alot harder to stay. Good luck.
your doing the right thing. you cant spend money that you dont have on weed when you dont even want to smoke it. thats messed up. im sure you love her and im sure that this will be hard but take a break stay away for a little bit and then see if she is still able to but weed once the moneys not there she will slow down,%26lt;hopefully%26gt; if this doesnt work try to get her help thats the only way that i can see things will work out. good luck
If she won't talk to you, than talk to her. She can choose to listen or not, take it seriously or not. If she forgets an important thing you said (and by important i mean you started the sentence by says ';This is important...blah blah';) don't keep repeating yourself. I would say ';It is important to me that you know I do not like how you have been smoking excessively and neglecting me'; If you can't make it work get out, shes not for you. She doesn't sound like she wants the same kind of relationship you do.
This exact same thing is currently happening to me.. except she has been cheating on me with the person she buys her weed off of. she alwys wants to smoke and always uses sex as a way out when im mad. we bolth need to GTFO!!!
You seem like a very smart person and I can see that even though you do smoke, you have your situation under control. (Yes, you can smoke and have it under control...not everyone is an addict). In my opinion, I think you need to give her a choice...either she slows down or stops smoking completely or you need to leave her and find someone that will appreciate you for who and what you are. Good luck sweetie...I know it's not as easy said as done. :)
You have to end it - she is using you for your money and easy access to drugs and sex. And you need to get some counselling for yourself so you don't get into another problem relationship like this one. This is not a healthy relationship - she doesn't respect you or the relationship that the two of you have together.
Obviously she has a problem and the only way to help her is to either tell her to her face that you are not going to put up with the behavior and while you love her you can't take the situation anymore. Tell her that you are willing to work on things if and only if she is willing to get some help. And as much as you may not want to, try going to rehab with her. Do it as a thing for both of you. The fact that she is stealing money from you and lying all the time, I wouldn't give her any chance. But given that she has a problem and really when you're involved with someone, you are supposed to be supportive and help them in their time of need, you can do the above suggestion. If she absolutely refuses to get help, kick her out. You have to be tough and be strong.
You do have a serious problem. First of all if she isn't even willing to talk about the problems you guys are having then you can't continue to have a relationship with her. It is completely one sided because she isn't making any effort to work out the problems. Second, if she is stealing your money to buy drugs then she has an addiction. Normally I would say weed is not addicting, but I mean chemically, emotionally it can be and anyone who has a lot of emotional problems can use weed to escape from life, which is what it sounds like your girlfriend is doing. Using sex to solve problems solves nothing. Sex is great as a makeup from a fight, AFTER you resolve the problem. She is so stoned out of her head al lthe time she can't function in a normal relationship and you have to decide if you want to continue to take care of her and her problems or if you want a real relationship. If you want a real realationship then you need to force her into some reality, stop leaving your money around where she can access it, change your passwords so she can't have access to any monitary anything if she knows them. Stand up to her and say no when she asks for weed or any other drugs. Cut her off. And if that doesn't work..move out. Don't stay living with someone that is making your life miserable and doesn't even want to try and fix it. She has more problems that you are going to be able to fix and she needs to seek help, but if you continue to enable her to continue the behavior she is not going to change anything, because she isn't the one unhappy, you are. I am sorry you are going through this, it totally sucks. Take if from someone who has some experience with this, don't let her ruin your life because she wants to ruin hers.
My boyfriend sounds exactly the same as your girlfriend, and you sound like me... I was going though the same thing for several months, but add alcohol into the mix... One night he got so drunk around his friends and I, he had know clue what was going on... Everything seemed okay for a while after, then a few days later he, out of the blue, starts accusing me of everything under the sun! Just crazy things, it was because he couldn't remeber what went on that night, he still has no clue that I'm devoted to him and had is back the whole night... He ended up dumping me for something I didn't do... He never sees a sober day he's also never clean of weed or pills (sometimes pills like muscle relaxers)... I know what your going though, the worry, the anger, all of it! I'm not sure what to tell you, what I'm doing is just sticking by and making sure he's okay... Because I do love him very much, and I know he needs me more then ever, to just be there... Even though we are having these problems I'm staying by... I hope you can just be there for her!?... I think other then doing this, there's not too much we can do... http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?… Have a look at this link, (copy and paste in browser bar if not clickable) I think weed or any addiction is the same situation... This is a question someone asked a while back... Also, I think you did the right thing, walking out and taking a breather! Well, hope I helped a bit... Just stick in there, they need us... Even if they denie your help! They just need you there!!!
OMG, wow. I'm going through the same situation with my bestfriend of 14 years. All she wants to do is smoke and we drifting from the level we were on together once before. Your girlfriend is out of control. She needs help. I say that because it seems as though she'd be in denial if you told her she had a pblm. The thing is that you smoke also so maybe she wouldn't take you as seriously as she should. What i can think of would be for you to catch her out there. Maybe in the morning or something. Plan a day for you guys to be out ALL day so you know she's sober, and let her have it. Spill everything out on the table. Maybe you have to open up her eyes on what she'll be losing if she doesn't take it easy. Show her that her life with you is more important than a high thats 1. Not healthy and 2. She can come down at anytime, and while she loves getting high, once she does come down there could be a chance that she'll be alone. Its so HARD to open someone's eyes on what weed can do. Especially if she has friends and other people to smoke with, other ppl to laugh and enjoy her high with. She's pbly not gonna really take how you feel to heart...not while she's high anyway. Unless she gets a bad high and realizes how this is really affecting you guys. Point blank i dont think that you did the wrong thing. Sex is done for a numerous amount of reasons, for love, for lust, for fun, but i dont think it should be done for a cop out. She is using her body to try and make things right, and its for the wrong reasons. She's not realizing the true problem and it should mean as much to her as it does to you.