Being in a military relationship is affecting me really bad...i need advice!?

whenever my fiance comes home on leave, i feel that i cant be away from him for even a few minutes.


he has been in south korea for a year, and is a 4 hour drive away until august 1st, when he is deploying to baghdad.


anyways, i just get so frustrated whenever i KNOW i could be with him, but he is taking a shower, or taking a nap, or going to the store for something.


its like i almost freak out. whenever we are together, its like i constantly have to be holding his hand, no matter where we are.


i try to keep these feelings inside, because i know its not healthy, but sometimes i cant help it.


i think im scared that he's leaving me again, to go back to korea, or iraq, or wherever, i dont know.


i hate it, and i think he can tell i feel like this, and i can tell he doesnt like it.


sorry if this doesnt make sense, im really tired, and stressed because i went to see him this weekend and had to say bye today.


have you ever experienced this being in a military relationship?


thanks..Being in a military relationship is affecting me really bad...i need advice!?
Yes I have and it is soooo hard!!


Thankfully my husband understood and was ok with me being so clingy.


The day he left to go back to his duty station (he was leaving for Iraq once he got there) I sat in his lap the entire day, even while he ate lunch, if he had to go to the bathroom I either stood outside the door or went in there with him! lol


Its just part of it, you just have to try and be strong.


My husband got back from Iraq about 8 months ago, and I still freak out when he goes to work.


Good luck to you guys :)


Hope I helped.Being in a military relationship is affecting me really bad...i need advice!?
I know it doesn't really help, but that's the cost of being in a military relationship. It's just something you have to learn to deal with. If it's too much for you, maybe you're not made to be a military spouse. Just a thought. And try not to be too clingy. If he wants the attention, he'll show you. If he wants to go out with his buddies, let him. It's tough for him too.
you just have to learn to deal with it. i was pretty much the same way when my hubby and i were engaged. i lived 6 hours away and when it came time for me to leave after being with him, it about killed me. i didnt want to be away from him. now we are married and i live military life. after you get married it probably wont be any different.
It sounds like you have an unhealthy obsession with your husband. I think the thought of him going to war is giving you a complex.





I think you need to separate from him while he has to do what he has to do. You shouldn't suffer wondering if he will make it and he shouldn't expect that from you.


Drop him and get a more stable man, one that won't come home in a body bag.
these things are never easy. you aren't the first and you won't be the last. just don't let it boil over. you need to seek out others like yourself as a support group....i was on the other end of this as a deployed soldier. it's very painful, yes, but don't go it alone. contact any chaplains office on your nearest post or base for guidance.
stress can make a person very clingy and needy and the fact that you know he is going to be gone for a while doesnt help either.... voice your felling to him dont keep it inside..
Its normal.


Do give him some space %26amp; time with his palls to drink a beer.


Take comfort that he is close at hand %26amp; not posted over sea's for the moment.
A military relationship is the hardest of any. One thing that you really have to both do is a little give and take. You need to see his desire to sometimes just relax or whatever, you can still be around him however, but just try to cling to him and let him initiate that. On the other hand your fiance needs to see your need for that closeness and not always expect you to let him have what he wants. You really need to share your feelings with him if you already haven't. Establish an understanding for what he needs, and let him know what you need. Even though I am out now, me and my wife went through the same thing, and it even caused us to separate for a time.





Once you both have established what the other needs, then you both need to try at serving each other that way. However, if he is not able to let his guard down and be in that constant ';soldier'; mentality then you need to honestly tell him that it might not work out, or that it is very damaging to you and your feelings. Its tough for military guys especially, part of day to day life is to take the opportunity for down time to really relax and rest.





Hope some of this helps, we've been there though and I know that this is something that everyone says but its so true. If it is meant to be then it will.