Any advice on how to move on from a destructive relationship??

My Ex is an alcoholic and has slowly declined from being a nice man into what he is now. a liar, violent. threatening and psychologiacally coercive by threatening suicide. He calls me crying saying if he cant kick alcohol and get me back he will kill himself, then he goes off drinking again, then calls me etc. If I cut him off, he may end up alone and in a bad way. If I dont, I will end up as crazy as he is. he is causing me to have panic attacks when he calls me at university crying. What do I do. I have scars from this relationship I find hard to tell anyone as he was violent twice and I did not tell anybody.Any advice on how to move on from a destructive relationship??
You shouldn't stand for violence, no matter what. He's not an idiot. He's using and creating problems to keep you on a leash. It's his way of getting your attention. He realizes it works and continues doing it. He wont kill himself. Do you know why? Because, he'll look forward to getting your attention. When he doesn't get it anymore, he'll look forward to getting your attention even more. If he threatens suicide then call the police. If you really want to be in a healthy relationship then you'll dump him. Don't let him put rules on you. YOU should sets the set of rules and put an end to this BS. Trust me!Any advice on how to move on from a destructive relationship??
You can't fix him Lisa. No matter how hard you try, you can't fix him. My ex husband has done some of these same things before and after our divorce. We know they are good men with a terible habit that is destroying them. You can't let this destroy you. You have to break his habit of coming to you for for support. I know where you are coming from. I was a drunkards dream. (There to listen (tears and rantings), fix a meal, nurse back to health etc.) You need to tell him to stop coming to you for these things. Tell him to leave you alone and live his own life. He needs to look within and fix himself. You need to do this for your own happiness. I understand the guilt because I expect to see him on the news iinvolved in an accident killing someone or himself. I am not responsible for his actions and neither are you for your ex. Live your life, be happy and just hope for the best for him. As for me, I so hope my ex will find a woman to take care of him..I did it for far toooo long.


Good luck, smile and enjoy your life..we only get one shot at it on earth. :)
First tell him he has to be sober for two years...then and only then he can call you. Then you have to decide why you are/were attracted to such a man and why you put up with his ways more than once. You better let the ';scars'; settle down before you select another male to be in your life, Start by stop blaming him and recongnize the fact you are the one that decided to live that lifestyle.
Personally you cannot save him. He has to want to save himself. He is only saying this to control you into staying with him. Don't I know it is hard stay firm tell him to get help and let him know he is not going to get you back. Change your number or just do not answer when he calls. You need to live for you not him. Life is short enough and what he is doing will kill him if he continues to drink and you cannot change his fate. You however are a strong human being who has every right to be happy and loved by someone who will not physically or emotionally bring you down.Look in the mirror and tell yourself you did all you could to be with this man and you gave it your all in the relationship and accept it failed turn and walk away and start living for you.
Been there Done that.....don't do this to you.


';1st ...You are not responsible for the actions of others.';


';2nd...Violence will repeat itself, and only get worse. ';


Next time he calls tell him leave you alone or you'll have restraining orders placed on him by the phone company and police. AND DO IT if you have to. Do not feel guilt, He is the


only one who can help him...


We incarnate to learn lessons to help us evolve..This is one


of yours. Evaluate what the lesson is and go on with your life,


a better person for having loved both of you enough to not


be the enabler of this illness. Be Strong Bless you.
Try to be confident on yourself. Regardless of what happens to him, you need to protect yourself. Might have had a relationship and liking towards him but now it is different. Os, even if it sounds selfish, get away from him. cut off all communications. Get a restraining order from court if you need to.





Concentrate on your studies and yourself for a while. Share your feelings with close friend, who will support you. Things will calm down with time.