Seriously. These are people with happy homes and decent lives who reached a stumbling block, and all you can do is try to destroy that. What's wrong with you people? ';She isn't the one for you';, ';Do not marry this man';, ';Find someone else';. It's like a broken record.
Is it really that hard to actually read what someone says and try to use your brain to come up with a helpful suggestion? Are you people really that lazy? How small does the problem have to be to get decent advice that isn't ';end everything and start from scratch with someone you hate while secretly regretting letting her go your whole life';?Why is it when a person asks a relationship question on the internet, the advice is always ';break up'; ?
i think because people think it is the easy way out. But if you really love them it is not easy. People want to help and they feel that just leaving or avoiding the situation or person it will make things better.Why is it when a person asks a relationship question on the internet, the advice is always ';break up'; ?
Simple. People come on here to ask their question and all they do is present all the bad. The people answering the questions do not have all the information. They can only go by what they are given. If it is all bad, the logical response is that they should break up. No one should have to put up with a bad relationship. It's that simple. But if you are on here asking questions, then you've got problems. Unfortunately, when all you present are the problems, it does not leave much room for a ';helpful suggestion.'; Besides, sometimes breaking up IS the helpful suggestion.
I agree that most advise is to dump the person. I think people are giving that advise because they are truly only getting 1 side of the story, and lets face it, that 1 side is always going to put most of the blame on the other party. I don't think that the people on here are lazy with their advise just a bit ';uninformed';:(
That is so NOT true. If someone asks a question about a personwho is a big cheater, liar, deceiving you 24/7, obviously yes you should get rid of that person. I would hope someone would tell me the same if I had a guy like that!
Hopefully most people on here just ask for mere opinions, then make up their own mind. I don't think you can force someone to leave their mate...they will do it if they want to. Sometimes people just need help seeing the truth. Love IS blind!
Why aren't you asking an even better question - if these people looking for advice, why don't they go to someone who can really help them instead of seeking help from total strangers with no background in relationship counseling?? There are therapists, clergy, etc. who are far more qualified to help couples in distress than most of us are. And who are you to judge what other people write?
I guess it has to do a lot with bad experiences.. it's this whole process of getting fed up with rejection.. that people just give up hope and become bitter and sometimes give out hateful advice.. but in some cases it would really suck to give out false hope and set him/her up for rejection..
other then that I totally agree with you..
I'm sensing there is something more going on for you from the tone of your question. Sometimes the answer is just that! Some people stay in relationships that are very destructive and need to be given honest answers. But I agree that the answer is not always to split up but work through issues.
Because many of the questions have to deal with a player cheating or treating his girl poorly and the girl or a girl showing disinterest in a guy.
If the relationship is just having some trouble, communication is important as is compromise.
Well clearly you haven't read ';all'; the answers to the questions. There are people here who have given so really reasonable advise such as try counselling, talking things over and such. So it's just nutty to make such a generalization.
Yeah true your right! Its easy to tell people to break up over te net because the people havent to deal with the reprecussions of their own advice, thatd why they can say it so easily and freely.
I disagree as i always tell people to keep at the relationship until they really dont think it can go on and to talk to their other half about what they're feeling.
its because on Y!A it is all teenagers and they think they know what life is about.
Personally, I don't like people that are like that. If you don't have time or don't feel like answering someone or helping them, then don't help. But you know, it's the asker's reaction that causes the most problems. Instead of focusing on all the ';break up this guy/girl.'; answers they need to be focusing on how they feel about the person. That way they don't become easily swayed by the viewpoints of other people and don't hurt themselves in the end. Get advice from other people, then think for yourself. That's the only thing you really can do. Instead of focusing your judgement and decisions on the advice of other people. =] That's my two cents for the day.
Your question is loaded with bias.
People answer the question that is posed; you're assuming that the entire body of work is presented (which it isn't), and for you to make assumptions about the people answering does little in the way of fostering a healthy dialogue.
Obviously none of us answering these questions know the actual folks posing them, and as such, in the matters of serious conflict, in many cases I will suggest (at a minimum) having an open and honest dialogue with the person in question, and in the cases of couples, ask if they have been to counseling (in other words, let an actual professional handle). While lacking excitement and drama, it is, in my opinion, the best option (that is, open/honest communication between the individuals, and failing that, going to a professional for help) out there.
Much as the people asking questions are people with lives, so to the people answering them. As it is impossible to know each person's attributes, life experinces, knowledge, and education, it is upon the person asking the question to filter through, and ultimately think for themselves.
Opinions are like other things that we all have; it is how and when we choose to utilize and express that sets us apart.
People on the internet are stupid, that's why. When you ask a stupid question like ';Hey, I really love my boyfriend but he hits me sometimes,'; the answer is not ';work it out,'; it's ';get the f--- away from that abusive douchebag.'; If it's ';My girlfriend is so great and I love her but she talks to her ex every day and disappears all weekend'; then she is either cheating on your or the trust in the relationship is so screwed up that she might as well be. But they don't want to hear it. They want some quick fix to resolve serious problems because they're too scared to put themselves back out there. Honestly, if your relationship has serious problems, maybe MAYBE you can fix it with counseling, but that's only if the other person is willing to compromise with you in the first place. A lot of people won't, and when they won't compromise with you and recognize your relationship has problems that need working out, that they are okay with the status quo that has you so upset, what is the point anymore?
Besides, how many of these people with their huge, ridiculous problems do you think ever really get up the balls to leave? I bet not that many. The status quo is always a lot less terrifying than an uncertain future -- the evil you know vs. the evil you don't know.
i always say break up because (if YOU read the questions), the problems are so well rooted and the person who asks the question isnt willing to sit down and talk to their partner, what else can you do? not break up? live in misery with a partner you constantly fight with?
i always tell people to just friggin' talk to their partner.
otherwise, if youre not willing to talk to your partner you're madly in love with, then BREAK UP!!!!
yeah its stupid, but when people have to come here for relationship advice, well, thats the reality of it, thats why im single by choice. hope this helps. best wishes.
A good point. It is easy to tell someone else ';Break up! He/She isn't the one for you!'; because we aren't the ones losing a partner or lover.
However, from the outside it is easier to see if a relationship is not working and if the changes are slim. If someone is suffering from domestic violence, the only advice is indeed to break up! Also if someone has been in a relationship for 2 months and strongly believes the other one is already cheating, what would you say? To work on that? Hardly.
A lot of people already know what they need to do, they just seek a push to the direction they have chosen.
To me, the most common advice here has always been ';TALK ABOUT IT';.
Well sorry u feal like that but not everyone is like that well atlest not me. and yeah some ppl are anoyng when they tell you 2 breack up or do this and do that but some ppl are right. for example my sisters ex beat her cheted on her twise and always treated her like she was not there and i mean she sireosly nede 2 break up w/h him. I know u r mad but these r just ppl that r tryn 2 help not ruin it and may b sum ppl just dont know what 2 say nothin else so they say that. Oh well sorry and hope this makes you change ur mind about everyone u tyhink says that bye.
im not sure, i have noticed that when i ask a q about my relationship the majority of the votes are break up with him, maybe its not want you want to hear but in my opinion chances are they are normally right, regardless of weither we listen to them or not. the only difference is on Y!A we only ever hear one persons side of the story so its easy to make a judgement such as 'dump him' when we dont know what happened, what the relationship or other person is like and the full side of the story. i think sometimes though people tend to rationalise out all the red flags when in a relationship or in love and the unbiast person answering your question on Y!A does not so they can maybe see a little clearer than the person in the situation...i have never answered a q telling someone to dump their other half but sometimes i think it :) hope i helped x
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