ADVICE??? Is he still in love with his ex wife? in love with me? or is this a relationship of 'Convenience'?

My bf and i met 16 months ago. He's 14 yrs older than me and has been married (no kids). 2 yrs b4 we met he had broken up with his ex wife who he was deeply in love with. (he hadn't had a gf since the break up).


We get along very well. He is very calm and aviods any conflict. He talks to me about marriage and children..


One night, about 4 months ago i had asked him if he was 'in love with me', he replied ' i love you very very much and i care for you very much, but im not exactly in love with you'. - My life has been miserable and doubtful since that comment.


Since then, i've made the mistake by always asking him,'why arent you in love with me?', 'will you ever be?' and 'what is it going to take?'; he replies ';it will all come in good timing';. And then bcause i asked so much he eventually said yes.


I found a bag with many of his past belongings including his wedding ring and photos of the ex wife in lingerie, on holidays etc.. DOES THIS MEAN THAT HE DOES'NT WANT TO LET GO OR???ADVICE??? Is he still in love with his ex wife? in love with me? or is this a relationship of 'Convenience'?
If his remark about you and his ex having the same feet didn't creep you out I don't know what will.


Who needs this drama, get a new man.ADVICE??? Is he still in love with his ex wife? in love with me? or is this a relationship of 'Convenience'?
Why don't you communicate with him and tell him that you two should not meet for a while first. Give him and yourself some personal time to ponder and think about the relationship until he is truly able to let go of his past and move on with you. Fix a date, in both your best interest, perhaps 3 - 6 months later and then sit down and talk about what you guys had been deciding and thinking about your relationship and then move on from there.
14 yrs older? ';He was telling me how she had a beautiful body.. how her and i had simular laughs, simular feet';?





It sounds like he's trying to find the younger version of the woman he loves. Based on what you wrote all signs point to ';he's not over her yet';. I'm sorry.
He is too old...too unsettled ...and too odd for you my dear...You might consider separating and going on your own ways..I sense that something bad will happen if you stay together much longer
I have an ex and have been divorced for two years. I save photos and things and I still talk to her. He could be afraid to love again, since he was hurt. For me I keep the photos I havn't look at them maybe once in two years, but that is a part of my history and I don't want to destroy it. I am past my ex. But I don't think he is. He still has feelings for her that are in the way of the two of you. It's up to you if you want to play second fiddle. You might be able to be happy with him, but it sound like you want more.
sounds like he still loves his ex but has feelings for you also...personally i would call it quits.good luck
You're cooking up a recipe for disaster!





You simply can not force anyone to love you and this is what is sounds like you're doing! Move on!! Just appreciate the fact he's being honest with you. Yes you're probably hurt and wondering why.. Don't force his hand because in the end you'll be the one suffering from a miserable relationship that should have never been to begin with.





I went back to read your additional comments...you have everything you need to do to make the best decision for you and your well being..There's really nothing to be confused about. Stop ignoring the signs and stop the wishful thinking!He's still in love with his ex-wife! There's nothing you can do about the way he feels and you certainly don't want to force him or anyone to do what they don't want to do or doesn't come natural to them. MOVE ON..you can not force him to love you!
Ok....I'm so new to this blog thing....or whatever we call it. lol


So...I'm not sure if this fits in at all but ...my relationships have been craxzy.!!!


I dated a man for 5/.5 yrs who I can count on one hand for ever having sex. (SAD)


I tried my best to talk to him about it..(not presuring) nothing seemed to work. So I backed off..... much time went by and as you can imagine things broke apart. That was hard on the self-esteem.... I later found out that he was just complety hoked on porn. (If only he told me)...haha


Anyways ....my main story to tell is such as happened tonight ...we were all talking about child birth (slim chance for myself) and stuff and he mentioned the fack that he loved having sex with his ex even after the child bearing..... things were good (not) lol...and he had no problem saying that to my face....(Hello)..I'm right here....ya don't have to say it to everyone.....


and **** I guess if your fullfillied in life than let me go...cause I guess I'm not.....sorry








SORRY...Just needed to vent it all out....





Ok ...I must put in the fact that I had been dating this man for awhile....althought it does bug me that he does compare many things in general to his ex.....yes it troubles me...lots...


Yes I'm a jelous girl....for sure...pretty fair though..lol...I'm a redhead full of truth and respect.....(Not too much to ask for)


Major things when he's sober bother me than he gets a few beer into him and he starts the talk about years before....I know that it's just history...but hell it does bother a person for sure....





Tell me if it's wrong??? pls


Cath