Advice on breaking away from a relationship...?

Apparently I have no backbone.





I've been in an on-again, off-again relationship with my fiance (whom I just kicked out for good reasons) for 3 years now... all I want to do is either be with him and have things change for the better (which they probably won't) or get rid of him for good, but HOW on earth do I conjure up the balls to stay away from him?





Has anyone else had this problem of not being very good at making a clean break?





What did you do to solve it?





I think my major issue is that I don't have much of a social life anymore (outside of him).. how do I rebuild this?





Any advice is appreciated.


Thanks!Advice on breaking away from a relationship...?
you didn't get there over night in one single step. You will not get through or over this in one statement or action either. Tell him how you feel and what you want. If he doesn't want to take part in that relationship then begin taking steps away. One choice at a time.Advice on breaking away from a relationship...?
I think that first, you have to make up your mind on whether you want to continue to be with him or not. plain and simple. Once you make up your mind, your decision shouldn't be that hard to make and do. Because right now, you are confused. Get your social life back as well, because that plays a major part in your decision making process. I think you may be holding on to him to just have someone when you are alone or lonely. But get out start having fun and you will be able to think things through clearly.
I imagine you are getting hurt in this prosses?


And when you do stand up for youself, doesn't it feel good?


You will see it as a major accomplishment and grow stronger from it once you overcome it.


Just imagine being like this for the rest of your life.


If you want to rebuild your social life, start with the friends you already have. Even if they aren't close. Once you start enjoying yourself and have fun, you will feel the freedom!!


Good luck
Call some old girl friends up and say let's have a girls night out. Get all dressed up and go somewhere you know HE won't show up, then you'll find yourself too busy to worry about whether you have him around or .not. and you'll find the ( as you say, B.... )to drop him for good. That's all it takes a little back up from your friends. If you now don't have any friends. ask someone from work or school to go out with you, maybe another guy? just as friends.... it will bring your self esteem up to be out with another guy too.
if its hard to break up with him, mabey its not time yet. explain that you need things to change for the better and if they dont your thruogh forever. as for your social life just go out more. what can i tell ya? if you stay with this guy any longer you should just start going on more group dates that wil get your friends back.
The longer this goes on the harder it will be. Just tell him that this is not going to work out. You have tried and tried, but you want to be your own person, and I can't do that with you. It sounds harsh but sometimes you have to be. It gets easier with time.
I think you should get in contact with your friends again and start going to social events and meet new people. Your bound to meet some one to forget him.


Then when you meet more people eventually you will forget you were ever with him.!
go out. find your friend, and go out.





the more you see that you do have a life, the more you'll push him out of it.
do things he don't like... so that he's the one who will dispose you and your problem... ';fixed';
hmm
You have my sympathy and understanding. After 3 years of exclusive dating , it is not easy to break out of what is now second nature. As you very astutely stated, things would not change for the better if you elected to go back with him leaving you with just one choice. No matter how painful or difficult it might sound, you have to make a clean break. I know what I am about to say may sound like a cliche, however, time is the greatest healer. Use all the resources at your disposal like your family, friends, school and/or work buddies. Accept invitations to go out to dinner, movie, or any other type of social and non-social affairs. In this manner, you will rebuild your social life again in a very short period of time. Initially it may be difficult to reconcile your emotional needs (for your ex) with dating anew. Believe me when I say that in very short order, you will be a wholly different woman, individual, and person. While it is not easy , it is very doable to move on. Good luck.
yea i have that prob. me and my husband have been having issues for a while now. and i have good reasons to leave him too. i have been married for 2 years but together 10. im only 22 so we have been together pretty much my whole dating life. i have only ahd one other bf really. the only diff i see with the sitch is we have a child and that makes it harder. my advice to you is get out while theres no more complications added to the equation. ya know? just thing of how much better you can do for yourself and definitly start going out to meet more people and rekindle those old friendships. if they dont want to rekindle make new ones...it might seem hard at first but if you work around alot of people maybe you could start by hanging with some of them. or just go to a club or a bar if your old enough...you can always meet people. maybe even join a sports team ...well good luck i feel ya on this one i hope you have better results than i have